SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

No matter what the paternity tests show, you will always be her father.

You are still so fresh and raw from your DDay. Take some time to get your bearings. There is no reason to rush. No one deserves t9 be cheated on by the one who vowed to be faithful to them. What is your WW doing to help you heal? What is she doing to address her brokenness to betray you in this way? In other words watch her actions, not her words. Good luck.

Nobody deserves to be cheated on.

You don't have to decide between R and D right now. You should read the healing library and make sure you are eating and drinking. Keep away from alcohol and try to exercise.

I’m currently reading “how to help your spouse heal from your affair”

It’s made me cry 3 times already.

She is begging me for forgiveness.

She is remorseful.

I just told her that if she doesn’t come clean about the first A, we are getting a divorce. I’m giving her until 4:15 today to answer me.

I'm still fairly new to this betrayal stuff myself, but I often see people day to get a timeline letter. Maybe that is a good place to start..?

She is remorseful.

More like regret from being outed. That's totally different that remourse.

She's in self preservation mode.

Think anything through

You probably need to download and read "No More Mister Nice Guy" by Glover it's a free PDF file and short.

She is remorseful.

It's very unlikely she is remorseful. Most WW's take months to get their head out of their ass enough to find even a hint of remorse.

Remorse is grounded in empathy. Empathy means she has gained an understanding of the pain you are suffering, that she has caused, and she is trying to find ways to help you heal. Remorse comes from realizing the Sisyphean nature of this task.

What she feels now is regret, grounded in selfishness, because she knows that her fantasy house of cards has fallen down.

She just admitted to me about the affair with her boss. She even admitted that my daughter might be his.

She’s being honest with me, it’s killing me, but I need to know.

Yes you need to know. There is no healing unless you clean out this infection that has been in your marriage. Don't make any decisions. Do take care of yourself, make yourself drink water, protein shakes, small frequent meals, walks, talk to a close friend, come here to talk.

You need a DNA test immediately. Would it be a deal breaker for you if she is not your child?

Wow. So sorry to read that. Is this her current boss or an old boss? Does he know DD may be his? Does she share info with him about your DD and treats him like he is the father?

[This message edited by WilliamM at 6:16 PM, July 27th (Saturday)]

I don’t know if it’s a deal breaker. I ordered the dna kit and should have it Tuesday.

It’s her current boss. He does have an interest in the kids. If I find out it’s his, I don’t know if I’m going to tell him.

Bud, if they work together the affair will continue.

Affairs are addictive. You get the addict around the source you get relapse.

Just because you know doesn't mean it'll end.

It’s her current boss. He does have an interest in the kids. If I find out it’s his, I don’t know if I’m going to tell him.

She will.

[This message edited by Marz at 6:53 PM, July 27th (Saturday)]

You need time to think this through. You're in shock.

Everything is on your time schedule now. No one else counts.

I’m in my car, at the beach. Watching the sun go down.

I feel like all the blood in my body has left me.

When I asked her if my daughter is his she replied, “I don’t know”

Which means that her and her boss have talked about this being a reality. So she already thinks it to be true.

My chest is so heavy right now and my arms are numb. I don’t know what to do.

I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

All of my close friends are out of town right now.

Do you have family close by?

You should inform your boss. You don't have to give him details but you don't want this affecting your work.

They've probably dealt with this before and will understand.

Maybe take a few days off.

Sorry you're going thru this.

I have no nearby family. I feel so damn alone right now.

Left to stew in my misery.

This isn’t fair

No it's not fair. Unfortunately your wayward wife has put you in this situation but you are going to have to find your way out of it.

You can't see it now but you will recover from this. Many have been exactly where you are and come out fine.

Just upfront it sucks really bad.

You have a good lifeline here so use it as much as needed.

You aren't stupid either. You like many trusted your wife. Who wouldn't. She's the one who betrayed it.

It might be good to browse through the healing library on this site. There's a lot of good info. Plus you can't concentrate on two things at once.

Walk, jog, go to the gym, etc. exercise at this time will help you a lot.

[This message edited by Marz at 7:18 PM, July 27th (Saturday)]

Even if your friends are out of town - try to call one of them... you really need support right now.

Booze is a depressant. Stay off it. Keep hydrated so drink lots of liquids

Go to a 24 hour ER or a clinic or contact your doctor. They can give you meds to break the down cycle is despair.