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bluelightshine ( member #37539) posted at 12:22 AM on Thursday, October 9th, 2014
(((BaseballMom)))
I just read your thread and I am so sorry you have to deal with this. There is a saying that my fwh told me the other day,
How do you know an addict is lying? His lips are moving.
This couldn't be more true in the case of your stbx. He is very delusional and completely horrible. He and his OW are hateful people and are letting the whole world know. That is on their shoulders.
Hopefully the OW goes to prison soon. I bet your stbx will be singing a different tune then. Sounds to me like they are both feeding off the drama of it. The great things about fantasy bubbles is they only last so long and then pop. The longer the fantasy stays intact the more reality slams them when it pops. Can't wait for it to happen. Hopefully you and your DS will get some peace when it does.
BS(Me) 32
SAWH (Beaker) 35
Married 11 Years
Dday Oct 06 2012
Dday 2 February 19 2014
Confessed to getting blow jobs from
prostitutes in 2006 and while living with OW
PA/EA 1 year
In r
2 children under 10
Working on faith everyday.
WeepingBuddhist ( member #39139) posted at 1:10 PM on Thursday, October 9th, 2014
BBM, please let your attorney deal with this! Don't directly sent anything to the PO. Make sure it comes from your lawyer. Keep your hands clean, so to speak.
Strength to you!
Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14
Hopetosurvive98 ( member #33842) posted at 3:04 PM on Thursday, October 9th, 2014
BBM I just read your update. I think my BP just hit the roof. This man is so gross, so fowl, such a piece of shit-actually thats an insult to shit. I have no idea what to say about a person, a father who would go on social media and put of photo of his child up stating that he is not the father. Mind blown. Its so disgusting. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this fucker but deal with him you will. As above poster said let your lawyer handle this and put the packet together (BIG high five on documenting this bullshit) and have the lawyer send it to the PO. I LOVE that your attorney is going to demand a paternity test at his expense and go for taking away his parental rights. He deserves to never see his son. He would do nothing but damage and hurt that child. As bad as it is to have a father out of the picture in this case this man is so toxic he needs to be gone.
Have you retained this attorney yet? If not maybe a friend or family member can help you get that last bit? I agree we need a divorce fund for you. This man needs to be gone asap. Ive read a lot on this forum in the past three years but this asshole takes the cake. You are so very right that it is time to stop trying to take the high road and avoid going after him. It is for the safety of your son that you must go after him with no mercy. If he will post that shit on FB about his child he knows no level too low. Imagine if your son was a bit older and had a FB account or his friends did-how hurtful! I am fuming!! Hurting a child is so far below the belt and he had already done far too much leading up to this (stealing the boys dog and so much more). Go into full mama bear mode and protect your son from this vile man.
Keep documenting everything he is putting out there. It is astonishing how stupid he is putting all of this on FB. Rally your family and friends for support and go after this "man" full boar to protect your child. You are so strong BBM and youve got this!!!
Me: BS 36
Him:WS 36
DDay 9/8/11, 3yr LTA
Her: super classy coworker, 44, involved in many A's including several other coworkers.
BaseballMom31 (original poster member #43637) posted at 7:04 PM on Wednesday, October 15th, 2014
UPDATE: My dear delusional, fucked up husband has received the order from my lawyer for a DNA test at his expense. WOW! My ears (or eyes) should be burning! He is blowing up Facebook with the worst insults and derogatory comments he possibly can think of about me. That is okay....my lawyer LOVES all of his psychotic rants and posts. Just adds fuel to the fire of why he should NEVER be alone with my pet rock, much less my child!
Good news....yesterday was 5 months and also a follow up doctor visit. And until that visit, while talking to my doctor, I didn't realize that it was the 5 month anniversary since my world changed forever. I teared up when I realized it but did NOT cry!! Go me! Last month, I was counting down and dreading the day. This month, I didn't even realize it. Baby steps!!
Do I miss him still? Absolutely. I still can't believe this is HIM. But it is, and I never want to go back.
The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places. -Ernest Hemingway
lovesobroken ( member #43588) posted at 7:17 PM on Wednesday, October 15th, 2014
((())) I have been following yiur posts for so long and you have come such a long way!!!! You just have to read your first post to know. Hugs!!!!
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:06 AM on Thursday, October 16th, 2014
BBM oh honey. I am so damn proud of you!!! You have really come along way. You get it and have allowed your grief and your healing to happen. And now you are fighting like hell to do what a right for you and more importantly your son.
Hugs and strength sister. Stand tall be proud and know you are amazing.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Jomarion ( member #43659) posted at 9:05 AM on Thursday, October 16th, 2014
Hi,Baseball mom, I have been continuing to read your posts, and cannot believe the depths this stbx can stoop to. He does not stop taking one lower step into hell, does he?
The only up side to all this is that it helps you to detach, and to see the parts of him he had always kept hidden from you.
Seeing that Truth can hurt so much, but in the end, when we can face it, I think it also makes us stronger.
Be careful he does not hurt your dog. I hope I am wrong, but he does not sound above hurting him/her in an 'accident'.
Prayers and hugs to you, BBM.
me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 8:01 PM on Thursday, October 16th, 2014
I'm so proud of the strong woman that you have rediscovered. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
TimeToGo2014 ( member #43909) posted at 8:14 PM on Thursday, October 16th, 2014
What a strong and brave woman you've become! You talk about your ex-douches transformation, but look at you! From feeble to fearless!!!
Me: BGF (41)
Him: WBF (a much older Peter Pan)
In 2014 was informed by a new acquaintance that WBF had a second, secret life in another city with an old flame.
BaseballMom31 (original poster member #43637) posted at 8:04 PM on Friday, October 17th, 2014
Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement! I never thought I would feel this strong. I was pretty sure I was broken...but I am healing. A lot of that has to do with you guys! Support and occasional 2x4s to the head from people who have been there and done that is definitely what I needed.
THANK YOU!
The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places. -Ernest Hemingway
cosmicjoke ( member #39159) posted at 4:20 PM on Saturday, October 18th, 2014
So glad to hear good news BBM..! Keep it up, and hope your boy is doing well too. The way you handle this will really make an impact on him in his life. So sad and horrible how the mind of someone you think you know better than anyone can be 'hijacked'.. it doesn't make any sense. Or maybe they were sick all along & just good at hiding it..? But either way, the fact that he is spewing all that crap all over he internet is so awesome. Just shows how twisted his own judgement is now. Let him hang himself.. Like you said his juvenile actions have turned in your favor (at least legally). I hope you have a great lawyer who really fights hard for you guys.
I agree the fantasy bubble will pop soon (because by nature they are unsustainable!).. but hopefully by then you & your son will be so far ahead of him & doing great that it will be too late. People need to learn that there are consequences- and permanent ones-- for their dumb choices and actions.
deena04 ( member #41741) posted at 1:27 AM on Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014
Just checking to see how you're doing. You are getting stronger and have come so far.
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
BaseballMom31 (original poster member #43637) posted at 7:24 PM on Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014
I am doing okay. Nothing new is going on...sometimes I don't know if that is a good thing or not. I never know what is going on in my STBX's crazy, messed up head.
I had a p/t conference yesterday with my son's teacher. I asked if he ever mentioned him or said anything at school. She said he has a few times but doesn't seem to be upset. She said he usually mentions something in passing and then moves on to something different. I am really glad. He seems to be handling everything pretty good. At least, I hope he is....
Still waiting on news about the DNA test. I know he has received the order from my lawyer but as far as I know, he has not responded. He did post on Facebook (big surprise) that he had $50 for anyone who could get me to sign divorce papers...I would gladly sign. However, like the commercial says, "It doesn't work like that. None of this works like that!" If all I had to do was sign and paper and be done, it would have been done months ago!! Idiot.
The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places. -Ernest Hemingway
WeepingBuddhist ( member #39139) posted at 1:25 PM on Thursday, October 23rd, 2014
You have come so very far in such a short time. It sounds like both you and your son are coping with your new life and working on the future that doesn't include STBX. Keep your head up, BBM!
Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14
Tina73 ( member #44910) posted at 1:42 PM on Thursday, October 23rd, 2014
Wow good for you!! Your an amazing mother!!
My ex and oldest son dad is a crack addict. It's been a lot of hell but he no longer has parental rights and soon WH will legally be his father and guardian (even tho he's a wayward he's a great father, and my son knows him as dad)
It's funny huh, of he is so certain he's not the father it really seems like a small fee to prove it. But they live in a world full of delusion! When My ex and his girlfriend lost there first kid together to CPS the decided to blame me
yet it was her 5th kid to be taken away and they recently had another baby and lost him to CPS as well!!
Keep moving up your doing great!
Me BW- 27
WH-35
DS-7 DD under 1. I love my baby's!
DD#1- Aug 1st 2014- EA
DD#2- Sep 15 2014 - PAs confessed
3 OW in total. Has been unfaithful from day 1
Learning to give up control, and to focus on me!
molly5 ( member #43147) posted at 10:09 PM on Friday, October 24th, 2014
((BaseballMom))
I am sorry about all you have been through! It is amazing what we can live through!! Keep strong!
Sounds like he likes to really mess with your mind!! I have one of those always making it out like I was the one who is wrong and flip it like it is my fault!
Keep doing what you are doing and stay amazing. Don't fall for the childish bull!!
Me:38
WH:42
I will not let the anger change me, I am going to raise myself up and keep growing. To let the anger change me would be like they won!
BaseballMom31 (original poster member #43637) posted at 2:24 PM on Monday, October 27th, 2014
OMGOSH absolutely, Molly5! It is ALWAYS my fault. It always has been! It is NEVER his fault. He is perfect, you know.
He is a master manipulator. I see that NOW. Sure wish I had seen it before...you know, like in high school would have been a great time.
The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places. -Ernest Hemingway
molly5 ( member #43147) posted at 8:31 PM on Monday, October 27th, 2014
BaseballMom,
I look now and think about when we had a good marraige...
But it has always been me keeping my mouth shut.. I see now it wasn't healthy at all...
I told him what I really thought, couldn't shut my mouth... i always backed down... I am a person who speaks my mind, but with him, when i seen that anger in his eyes I always would shut up... I know what happened when I didn't shut up. I will never have respect for him now. counting down the last few days, sad that it was never what I thought.
Time to make a new life with out walking on eggshells, looking over my shoulder and checking up on a cheater.
I hope the Karma bus runs them over!!
Me:38
WH:42
I will not let the anger change me, I am going to raise myself up and keep growing. To let the anger change me would be like they won!
ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 7:18 PM on Sunday, November 2nd, 2014
BBM, any updates? Just checking in on you. Hope to hear from you soon!
Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?
ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 10:13 PM on Monday, November 3rd, 2014
BBM, any news? Just check in please do we know you're ok.
Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?
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