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She should know about the auto insurance. I'm just not reminding her. I cover all healthcare for the kids so I do t see how that would effect the kids.

She should know about the auto insurance. I'm just not reminding her. I cover all healthcare for the kids so I do t see how that would effect the kids.

RockstarDad you have really impressed me with how you have handled yourself throughout.

I would echo the suggestion that you contact her about the auto insurance. If she does not remember about it and god forbid she is in an accident and maybe the kids are in the car with her than it would most directly affect you kids. Its not a big deal just remind her your done paying her insurance as of now.

Sending strength my man

I admire the dignity and emotional strength you have shown throughout. I think she has lost a “good one” in you.

Agree about notifying her about the auto insurance.

Sigh of relief, it's over. Sounds like you handled everything stoically.

The day before she had to ask me what the judges name was and the room #...she is not high functioning...It's on all the paperwork. Good Lord.

that and showing up early, not giving you the ring, keeping her name... I think she was fishing...but she knew what your answer would be.

I'm guessing she wants to keep your name so she has the same last name as the kids... Of course it's a little slap in the face to OM since the kids, his GF and the neighbor will all have the same last name... A little reminder of the way they got together.

I still expect to get that drink. I found OM reaction to your "Thank You" interesting. Think about when you were 3 months in with your EX. If her EX or baby daddy came up and thanked you in a "she's your problem now" sort of way... wouldn't your gut reaction be to stick up for her/defend her? at least say "you don't deserve her?" You are either extremely intimidating to him or he feels extremely guilty or he is questioning his decision.

The line about "my 9 yo woke up wondering where her Mom was". That was about when WW was with you right? She's not currently doing that is she?

I think it will be interesting when he is divorced too...not that being married meant much to either of them.

[This message edited by Freeme at 6:30 AM, April 19th (Thursday)]

Yes the comment my nine year old made was shortly after Day. I had been wondering if the OM had come to our house and had asked if at night the OM or OBS would come over to hang out. Nonchalantly with my son. He said no but that he woke up a couple times and couldn't find mom which was not the answer I was fishing to find. That means she was either across the street drinking with him till the wee hours or sneaking over at 4-5 am when the OBS went to work. I just brought it up to refute his I would never do anything response. Truth is they already have been stupid around the kids. I doubt it goes on now at least in that way. Not something I can show in court just a concern in the back of my head.

glad you made it thru this. Good luck to you

(((RockstarDad & boys)))

Start keeping a journal of her behavior. Write down any item that comes up including your child's comment about waking up and Mom was missing.

Remember - you do not have to have conclusive proof of where she was. When it comes to the welfare of children, the fact that a child woke up in the middle of the night and Mom could not be found is enough. The child could have been sick and needed medical attention. The court will not care where she was, only that she was not available to provide aid to the child.

Keep the journal.

RockstarDad if I were to wager betting money I would bet the house of cards your exWW has built will come crashing down on top of her very soon.

Watch her and protect your children.

And when the house crumbles, her anger will be directed at you.

Reasons you should tell her about the auto insurance. (Yes, she SHOULD know but as you mentioned, she's not good at the details).

1. It's the right thing to do, and you have been doing the honorable thing all along here.

2. If she is financially ruined by an auto accident, that WILL affect your children.

3. The judge thought she wasn't getting as much as she could. Guess who's going to go after you for an increase and feel she deserves it because you didn't tell her you'd removed her from the insurance? (if she's in any kind of accident.)

This is self protection on your part.

I wish you all the best moving forward. You deserve the better future that is in store.

[This message edited by latebloomer45 at 3:09 PM, April 19th (Thursday)]

I would not tell WW about the auto insurance.

OP has health insurance on the kids.

It only helps the OP if WW get s caught driving

without insurance. Shows her not safe. Increasing

chances of OP increasing custody.

It only helps the OP if WW get s caught driving

without insurance. Shows her not safe. Increasing

chances of OP increasing custody.

He should probably ask his lawyer...I think it has just as good a chance of making him look bad for not mentioning it.

What if she's disabled in an accident, or sued for all she's got because she disabled someone else?

She's going to go back to the judge who has already shown to be not thrilled with the financial arrangement.

RockstarDad protects HIMSELF by telling her. Besides, it's the last piece of putting this mess to rest in his honorable fashion.

So much focus on how to carry on the battle.

RockstarDad – It would be OK to let her know. Only costs you the time it takes to text. You could also do the morally right thing and send her a text telling her you are dropping her off insurance from Monday or the first of next month or whatever. But then – you can also just go and drop the insurance. It’s totally your call. Just do it for the correct reasons and revenge, spite and all that crap is not a reason.

I think the posters gloating over the ex wife’s misery and hoping the new relationship doesn’t last have forgotten that this is the mom of RockStarDad kids. They are there half the week. We know stats strongly suggest relationships founded in infidelity don’t last but we also know that kids in breaking homes have a miserable time.

RSD – I HOPE your ex-wife and OM have a long, loving and successful relationship. I hope the OM creates a constructive guiding role in the kids’ lives and has a clear and acceptable vision of where his role as step-dad ends and your role as dad takes over. I don’t have this hope because it’s good for your ex-wife or because of how this relationship of theirs was founded. I have this hope because it’s best for your kids.

I also know that deep down you know I’m right. Its deep right now because of the pain. But if you focus on your recovery then 1-2 years from now you won’t have any emotions towards OM and the ex-wife other than those related to co-parenting.

CLOSE THAT DOOR

I have this hope because it’s best for your kids.

Yes. Which is what a RockStarDad always wants.

Bigger puts it well.

In some states, if your in a car accident, medical is covered under auto and your children may not be covered. That was my sole point. Please check the state you are in for appropriate information.

Glad you are on your new path now.

I hope for your kids that your former wife can get her life together and has learned something. Maybe in time you will respect the New person she has become though you won't forget how she hurt you.

It would be so good for the kids if she could do this for herself, anything positive will be an improvement. You stay around and safe on the job so your kids will always have you.

So now you are free and I wish you a great life. Be kind to yourself, it's been a journey.

Karma is best served by natural consequences; avoid being the one instigating the drive-by from the Karma bus, since that tends to have a back-blast on the instigator.

In other words, you best tell her about the auto insurance. Sooner rather than later.

I did just to be the better person...

It wouldn't have effected the kids insurance wise here.