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Oh HELL NO. Let him call his whore, she can fit him in between the other dogs

And this is where your WH has a lesson in consequences. He fired you from the job of taking care of him the moment he started flirting with Candy. He made this choice. This is on him.

He could have had the best carer in the world to help him recover but he made stupid choices and now he doesn't. He will have to make do with Candy or Bob.

I know how hard this is as after Separation my WH had a personal issue and I just wanted to be there for him but I couldn't let myself get sucked back in.

You WH hasn't really taken responsibility for the A. He talks a lot about her pressuring him and him not knowing what to do. Is he in IC to figure out why he made such choices?

Even when he is asking about a 2nd chance he is asking you to talk through it with him, asking you why he isn't worth it. He should be trying to find out how to make himself a safe partner for you, the kind of partner you deserve and he isn't.

Stay strong TOC.

Now see, I'd be more inclined to ask him if he tripped over a vagina in the road!!

Can anyone say Karma? She is a mean bitch with a wicked sense of humor, for sure!!

Stay strong. He already told you he doesn't need you. Believe him.

CheaterMagnet - holy hell, that is some story about your WH. Wow, if near death doesn't change someone, nothing will.

Of course I feel bad. His son called me because of course WH is blocked. Evidently he was riding with earbuds and music going, which I always told him not to do and sure enough, was clipped by a car that sent him hurtling into a light pole. I always told him it wasn't safe to ride with earplugs! Aaaargggh.

I know you are all correct. Not my circus, not my monkey. Stupid monkey. Thanks everyone.

Now see, I'd be more inclined to ask him if he tripped over a vagina in the road!!

riding with earbuds and music going, which I always told him not to do and sure enough, was clipped by a car that sent him hurtling into a light pole

Holy shit, that is so poorly planned and executed that it's hilarious!

What's his next trick, the bacon wet-suit in the piranha tank?

(This said by the man with one eye and scarred up legs, all due to stupidity. They call me Lucky.)

Ok - here's the reality. He's fine. Yeah, he really is. He's not dead. Broken leg and scrapes and bruises won't kill him.

Plus, all of this, his A, getting caught, his upcoming D, getting hit, all of that is a direct result of him just thinking that he's smarter than everyone. The rules are different for him because he's a Special Flower.

Got a wife _and_ GF? Great idea. Also, take her to the store and a family dinner. Also, ride a bike with your ears covered and distracting music blasting into your head.

This, all of this, his whole life right now, is the direct result of a really shitty decision-maker in his head.

People on here talk about Karma, as if the Universe is going to slap one upside the head. But most of what they call Karma is really just the result of thinking that they're smarter than everyone else. His life right now is the result of bad decisions coming home to roost.

Gah, stay away for sure, he's the Titanic.

TOC, gently I think you are playing with fire by focusing your mind on WH. My humble experience and observations tell me that our true healing requires our clear decision (100% and not 99.99999%) about which way we are heading. This decision is called commitment.

You shouldn't decide to end your relationships forever, but I honestly think that if you and your WH stay apart (both physically and mentally) for a predefined period of time (say half a year) you have a good chance to regain your self control and peace (and get passed a hot mess you are living right now).

My first thought was, 'oh great, he was ogling some chick running, rammed the curb and flew off his bike'. You're doing great TOC

I guess he couldn't wait to be in an ambulance again? xox

TOC,

Perhaps, if you feel overcome with feelings of wanting to help him, you could send a big bouquet of flowers to his hospital room.

Because flowers make everything better.

Heck they would fix things even if you had put him there yourself by breaking his legs with a baseball bat. So you could have some free time to have fun for yourself or something...

edited to quote WOW's good advice from above:

TOC, gently I think you are playing with fire by focusing your mind on WH. My humble experience and observations tell me that our true healing requires our clear decision (100% and not 99.99999%) about which way we are heading. This decision is called commitment.

Focus on you.

[This message edited by antlered at 10:37 PM, October 19th (Wednesday)]

I broke an ankle a few years ago. Hobbled around in a walking cast for 6 weeks. At the time I had a full time job, a house to take care of, and two very large demanding dogs. The broken bone was inconvenient but I lived. So will he. Not your problem.

A nice bouquet with an every day, useless message like, "get well soon," would be a lovely gesture, don't you think? So meaningful and helpful - NOT.

Letting him feel the consequences of his actions is the best (perhaps only?) way for him to learn. You're helping him by not helping him.

I echo everyone's sentiments about focusing on YOU and FTG.

He will be fine and will heal. You have much more healing to do than he can ever imagine.

Stay strong, TOC...stay strong.

Hugs!

A friend of mine was in a car accident recently and suffered a pretty major concussion. Off work for months. Unable to read, or watch TV while she recovered. Many other symptoms. She said she would have rather broken her leg. It's an injury people can see and understand. A concussion is the worst.

A broken heart is kinda the same as a concussion. Not always obvious, but so debilitating. And he did this to you. He was the "car that clipped you". No. Just No. You can not help him now that his car needs body work.

Ok My metaphors may have gotten away from me there.

Let karma do her work in peace.

So, I baked him his favorite cookies, put extra butter and sugar in them and put in overnight mail to him today along with a get well soon card. I figure he might as well get his favorite cookies. And put on a few pounds with no exercise for awhile.

So, I baked him his favorite cookies, put extra butter and sugar in them and put in overnight mail to him today along with a get well soon card. I figure he might as well get his favorite cookies. And put on a few pounds with no exercise for awhile.

If I'd been in your shoes, I would have saved myself the effort and just sent him a bag or two of Skittles.

Or some other "candy."

I vote for the Skittles.

or Exlax brownies.

Beautiful metaphor: He didn't have two legs to stand on. Now he doesn't have two legs to stand on.

180, turn off the phone, forget him. Too many good things in your future, just not him.

By the way, I am really sorry that you had to experience this nightmare. You have been an inspiration for many. Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts with us.

I really hope those cookies had some laxatives in them 😄

We understand how terrible you are feeling but I'm so glad you found this site, the advice on your thread doesn't only help you but will help so many people who don't feel strong enough to post themselves

It is such an unimaginable hurt and even though everyone is complimenting you on your strength, we do understand how much you're hurting

Keep doing what is best for TOC