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Shattered-Heart ( member #32165) posted at 1:14 AM on Monday, May 16th, 2011
Thank you so much for sharing this. I have shared it with my WS and can only hope he uses it. You are so right about exhausted, blown apart and adrift. I agree with others this would be nice to see in the library, I just happened across it here hoping to find some insight and 'Why' from the other side of the fence, so to speak. Thank you.
Me BW Him WH "The trick is to keep breathing." - Garbage
GeauxTigers ( member #28301) posted at 2:23 AM on Monday, May 16th, 2011
One of the first threads I remember from when I joined SI. Words and techniques just as true today. Well done, Wincings! Hope you and WAL are doing well. 
Sigh... how did I end up here?
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 3:20 PM on Sunday, June 12th, 2011
Bumping for a friend.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 5:07 AM on Saturday, July 16th, 2011
You will get there, just keep working one stinky fish at a time.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 10:29 PM on Sunday, July 17th, 2011
Another BS here... this helps me to see that some WSs can be repentant. What hope for their BSs! I wish my WH would come to this kind of understanding.
To all of you who are working through your muck and your mud, keep working! You are amazing and I hope you are able to find reconciliation with your BS!
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
brokenheartedrn ( new member #32391) posted at 11:11 PM on Sunday, July 17th, 2011
Thank you for posting this.
Maybe my wh will understand this analogy.
Burl ( member #31747) posted at 11:51 PM on Sunday, July 17th, 2011
me FWH, 43,
wife BS 43
5 beautiful kids, 6-14 y.o.
DDAY Dec 2010
MC since Dec 2010
both going to IC
LTA
Doing everything I can to help my beautiful wife heal from the anguish and pain I have caused.ounting on a miracle
DeeplyRemorseful ( member #32796) posted at 6:06 PM on Monday, July 18th, 2011
Wow!!! Absolutely the BEST simply put, inspirational analogy I've ever read. My H/ BS has awesome analogies. This one was absolutely perfect. Think I'll share this with him tonight when we are home together. LOVE IT!!! Thank you.:)
DD 10/09
WS 40/ME
BS 45/HIM
No children
Married gtb 11 years
Been together gtb 20 years
Greatful every moment of every day my husband is here, we're together as a unit giving reconciling our best. Giving my husband the best of
me for as l
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 4:29 AM on Wednesday, September 28th, 2011
Bump for friend.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
keepinghope ( member #33313) posted at 4:48 AM on Wednesday, September 28th, 2011
This is exactly what I needed to read tonight. I was about to go to bed and decided to log on real quick and see if there were any new posts up. Thank you for bumping this up on the thread list.
Me: WW (36)
Him: BH (35)
DDay: August 31, 2011
RA DDay: January 29th, 2020
MrsSprky99 ( member #32895) posted at 2:15 PM on Thursday, September 29th, 2011
This is an awesome analogy WS....thank you so much for giving us BS's hope!!!
BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 53
Married - 14 years
3 Children - 25, 24 from first relationship & 10 y/o with WH
D-Day: June 11, 2011
fromthisdayfwd ( member #30634) posted at 1:45 AM on Monday, October 3rd, 2011
Bump
Married 8/20/1994
Betrayed
DDay 6/23/2010
A gift is not given if it has been demanded.
Failure to attempt is failure.
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 2:25 AM on Wednesday, October 19th, 2011
For friend.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 11:13 AM on Saturday, November 12th, 2011
bump for some newbies.
helpemegetoverit ( member #30242) posted at 12:31 PM on Saturday, November 12th, 2011
Wow, how have I never seen this?? Excellent analogy. Brilliant really. I love that it really pushes the fact that it is ALL our fault....too many BS take took much blame for '50% of the marital problems.
This should be required reading for BS and WS. Thanks for bumping, not sure how I have missed it in the past. I don't read every post but do normally read if they are bumps 
Me: WW
Him: BH
"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you."
John Green
SilverSprings ( member #15195) posted at 8:34 PM on Saturday, November 12th, 2011
Well done!
lostsuol ( member #13706) posted at 7:08 AM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2011
This need to stay on the 1st page! Thanks WS.
ShatteredOpal ( member #27467) posted at 4:39 AM on Monday, November 21st, 2011
Boat analogies will work beautifully with my situation. WH himself used the image of realizing that he may have torpedoed our marriage. Boats have been central to our relationship.
BW-47, married 24 years, together 27
WH-49, has LTEA w/ExGF, 25 years (minor PA)
Final no contact 4-2010
2nd A- 10-1-11 through 11-3-11
D-day 11-3-11 through 11-6-11
PA- mainly kissing until the last night when they had sex.
R- so far so good
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 12:52 AM on Thursday, February 16th, 2012
Requested Bump for friend hope it helps.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
heartstabber ( member #34079) posted at 1:48 PM on Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012
I also like this analogy - it really hits home. We need to heal ourselves in order to help heal our BS.
My H sent me this link and the first time I read it I cried. The muck & mud. Forgiving myself... That is a very difficult task, but it is such an important part in helping my BS heal.
Thanks wincings_sparkle
Me: WW
Married: 15 years
DD: November 2011
Let's eat Grandma. Let's eat, Grandma. Commas save lives.
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