SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Nope. He didn't...Why would he? She was so perfect, no disease could ever cling to her sheer amazingness! (sorry...sarcasm vent)

I actually went for STD tests within the hours before I even confronted him. I am not kidding. I saw the text that exposed them. I watered the plants while he left the house, and I drove straight to the clinic, calling for an appointment as I did. How I pulled my 5hit together to do that, I still don't know.

When I confronted him with the proof I had seen of the affair, I told him I'd already had STD tests done, and if anything came back positive, I would know that at some point he had slept with her. That I knew we were clean before over a year ago, because if there were any STDs, they would show up on a blood donation test, and I knew what the last date of my donation was, and I would know that it would have been in that time frame he cheated on me, if this test came back with anything.

I said I would know he was lying and would never believe anything he ever told me again if he didn't come clean right now. Amazing how a man who still wants to save his marriage will spill every last detail if he knows there are good odds the tests will come back positive.

We were both so lucky. We didn't have anything deadly. We both had follow-up tests.

BUT we both had a resistant form of yeast in various places on our bodies.

I almost don't want to say this - it had shown up as a form of a jock-itch like rash on my neck. I had been trying to treat it with cortizone, thinking it was some type of eczema.

It had shown up right after he had developed thrush (Thrush is an oral form of yeast infection -he had been kissing my neck while we made love. I didn't connect the rash on my neck with the soar tongue he had begun to complain of...nor the soar tongue and whitish coating with another woman. Sent him to his doc, thinking he must have run down his immune system from stress) that was one month into the affair...after which he also developed a form of jock itch. And another male co-worker also had the jock itch - that wouldn't respond to over the counter treatments. That man is currently leaving his wife for the xAP right now.

I'd also had three yeast infections that year, but somehow had fought them down with OTC, and probably because I love yogurt. The one on my neck was persistent, though. But once we knew, I finally could treat it with a prescription anti-fungal.

DearWH has no health background. He thought that there was a lot of "whitish stuff" in her, um, sexual discharge. He said both liquid and clumpy. He thought it was a sign of how hot she was for him. It was, in fact, both yeast and the other guy.

I am posting this, hoping other waywards will realize how blind they can be about how perfect their xAP is. Knowing how my husband got thrush probably was one of best wake-up calls for him to realize how badly he needed help, and how much he had risked with his health and mine.

But, I have to add....that other guy stayed with her. There, clearly, are people who don't really care about STDs.....

Oh, almost forgot. When I asked about any risk of her being pregnant, he explained she'd had a hysterectomy a number of years ago. This is why no protection. He really thought she had been such a good girl, who just couldn't resist him (because he was ALL that), that the risk of disease was low.

[This message edited by uxorpatricius at 1:12 PM, September 22nd (Friday)]

I should add, we were both blood doners up to the summer before his affair. We both carry a needed blood type (ironically, we are the same blood type!). His doctor pointed out that we only test for "known" pathogens. That at one point no one even knew how to test for HIV or Hepatitis. And that there can be false positives and negatives. He said at 6 months we probably could have peace of mind for ourselves. But should no longer donate.

We are three years out, not getting younger, but in good general health at this point.

My own doctor had me do a hepatitis vaccine series, because DearWH is now a person who had a pattern of risky behavior that I was exposed to.

We now have to decline calls from the center due to his affair. We found out she had been with a divorced man who travels to high risk countries, and that man has prostitutes all over his social media (as friends). So, continued STD testing was essential for us.

My husband sure knows how to pick them.

[This message edited by uxorpatricius at 10:55 AM, September 22nd (Friday)]

uxorpatricius- Oh my God, I am so sorry. Thats horrible.

When you were talking of the OW discharge, I swear I almost vomited. So gross.

I was terrified I would have STD's, especially when I saw MOW's BH was on the Ashley Madison dump and WH told me about a story MOW told him about a sex weekend she had with an older guy with toys etc. He said they always used condoms-except for when there was oral. His answer to my question about him considering the fact that he could have been exposed to, and exposing me to STD's, he said he never thought of it because "he never felt anything" -meaning everything must be okay because he didn't get rashes or become itchy etc.

The almighty O and ego kibbles is more powerful that STD's you know.

Nope; and he told her prior to sex that he had an STD. Resulted in her contracting and carrying HSV2 for life. So many levels of stupid were involved in her decisions.

Nope, not once during 3 separate affairs with the same OM spanning 25 years. Not even after he lied to her about having a vasectomy during the first affair, got her pregnant and she had an abortion. I honestly can't grasp that level of "crazy" or whatever you would call it. Other than what I consider risks she took with my children's welfare, unprotected sex is the worst thing she did. I see it as a direct personal attack on me and my rights as a human, a far deeper level of disrespect than breaking a wedding vow. I also consider every time we had sex from the first time she did with him until I knew she had, to be domestic violence. My consent to have unprotected sex with her was invalid because she kept that secret. That's even spelled out on the National Domestic Abuse website. As far as the most recent affair that would be every time from March 24, 2011 until January 30, 2013.

She said they did 2 of the 3 times.

Negative, with all 5 of her AP's.

Yes, but... Apparently they started off not using a condom, but he was afraid of getting the OW pregnant so he stopped and put one on. No concern about STDs (fortunately we're clean!) but he was terrified of getting her pregnant.

Regardless of condom use or not, some diseases are still very much capable of being transmitted even with condom use.

Also, condoms can and do fail.

Waaay back on page 1 or 2, someone mentioned a condom allergy and not quite believing it. I do want to say that latex allergies are very real and can very much develop and worsen over time. Health care professionals have died from anaphylaxis due to latex exposure. I've got a latex sensitivity. Had it since I was a teen. But guess what, boys and girls? There are latex free condoms! I've had to use them in the past. There is simply no excuse for not using them other than being a selfish asshole.

My ex carried condoms wherever he went. I do actually believe he used them since he took such great joy in telling me when he cheated. His cruelty knew no bounds. Seriously, he'd tell me with a smile on his face and a boasting tone as he crushed me into pieces. But so fucking what? It's no protection from the HSV2 I know the last one had before I dumped him.

Nope. Not needed. He had a vasectomy. The whore was in her 50s so I'm thinking that pregnancy shouldn't have been their biggest concern.

No. She looked at me when I asked her this and said, "Why would I? I have an IUD."

God damn it. That pissed me off as much as anything in this shit storm.

She didn't like it when i suggested that she post my "Trip to the STD Clinic" as a fun post on Facebook, complete with selfies with the nurse and holding up the piece of paper that said i don't have AIDS.

She didn't like it when i suggested that she post my "Trip to the STD Clinic" as a fun post on Facebook, complete with selfies with the nurse and holding up the piece of paper that said i don't have AIDS.

Oh god, I am dying

This thread is so sad.

For most of us here , the last thing on earth we expected is for our spouses to go f*ck around and potentially brings AIDS back to us.

Yes, but not for oral. I know this is true because I've seen their texts to each other about it. I also got to see the panic on WHs face when he realized he was going to need to go to the clinic. Trust me, I'm amazed their foresight extended this far.

I'm pretty sure we got out just in time. Had it gone on any longer, I think the condoms would have been the next thing to go flying out the window along with his morals and decency.

For most of us here , the last thing on earth we expected is for our spouses to go f*ck around and potentially brings AIDS back to us.

For reals. Which is really shocking when I see so many people who are my age. I mean seriously, am I the only one still scarred from the '80's? I was 13 when my math teacher used HIV/AIDS as part of his math lessons to show how it was spreading exponentially. He was my math teacher all through high school as well so I had many, many math lessons that incorporated this. It made a huge and lasting impression. It's totally because of him that despite the fact that I was wild and acting out because of FOO, I at least tried to be as cautious and responsible with my sexuality as I possibly could.

No...

No consideration given to the disease factor whatsoever.

She told him she couldn't have any more children (didn't say exactly why?! But he took her word for it anyway!! ) but through my digging I found this to be untrue. I believe she was hoping to get pregnant although fortunately her age was against her

Not a single thought was given to the need for condoms. Soon after Dday WW said that he was married so how could he pose a risk. What absolute idiots cheaters are.

My H said they DID, but he was getting a blow job from a prostitute.

Do prostitutes use condoms? I'm happy to say that I don't know these things.