SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Drove me nuts, too, Walloped.

"It was never my choice to marry you. Those choices were made for me."

Yo, what? So when I asked you, and you said yes, it was... some doppelganger? When we moved to California? When I asked for your input with every single step of the way?

"YOU felt happiness and satisfaction, and I never did. Now, over this one little thing, you're going to treat me like a horrible person?"

If by one little thing, you mean a year and a half of fucking the man I thought was my best friend IN MY BED while I worked to support you both, then years of random EAs, then leaving me with all five kids while you flew to texas for two and a half weeks, telling people I was abusing you and them, and having a week of orgies with a walrus and her trainer...?

Then yeah. Yeah I'm gonna treat you like a horrible person.

*a week after DDay 1*:"How long is this going to take for you to get over it? I can't take this."

It'll take as long as it takes, wtf.

"It makes me so angry that YOU can talk about this as much as you want, but if *I* talk about it, I get judged."

Well, if the truth makes people judge you as having done some fucked up shit... maybe don't do fucked up shit. If the truth makes people think less of you, that's time for some rumination.

*lies and lies and lies about me, how abusive I am to the kids and to her, how I never feed them or take care of them, how I never work, I just sleep and play video games all day*

Sure. And I'm certain these six books in the last two and a half years just wrote themselves. And I'm sure you leave the kids with me for 2+ weeks twice a year because I'm abusing them, but you're still Supermom. And I'm sure that an exit affair was the best way to blow up a relationship with a man you're scared of, even when he'd asked you, before you made your affair physical, if you wanted a divorce, and you said no, you wanted to work on things.

And then you sent pictures of yourself using a sex toy to your boyfriend. Also, you're a lesbian.

Sure.

My favorite has always been “We were disconnected.” So your way of reconnecting was to have affairs with other women? Makes complete sense.

There are so many to choose from that it's hard to pick but if I had to drill down to one it would be this: after DDay when I discovered a 15 month A, and then False R when I discovered that he had continued to lie about breaking NC repeatedly, I filed for D. During that time my solicitor requested an independent audit of his business. My now ex was frustrated by the accounting process and said to me: "I don't know why you don't trust me on this. I'm being totally honest."

"The worst part for me was the realization that I felt dumber every time he opened his mouth because I had actually made the choice to marry this person. His stupidity was fucking with my self-esteem. "OMG no, stop talking...you're making ME look dumb at this point.""

Thanks Dee and I agree with sisoon, it took me a long time to stop the "What the Fu**?" That would spin in my head after he said all the same stupid shit that everyone here has quoted.

I finally realized that the more he kept saying stuff like this was me realizing the fact that me staying connected with this person was ME allowing him to boldly keep fucking with my self-esteem. Every single time when one of those weird twisted statements to my face came out of his mouth.

I am still working on this. But I also wanted to say, thanks Dee for explaining exactly how I feel now and why it took me so long to try to twist my head around it all. You can't fix crazy, but you can finally try to step away from it.

[This message edited by realitybites at 9:02 AM, October 7th (Monday)]

Thank you both for relating to what I was feeling too! It really is a surreal feeling to look at your spouse like you don't even know this person and then wonder what the fuck is wrong with you that you actually chose someone who could spout this nonsense.

When I asked my wife if she used a rubber or any sort of protection, she said no , when I asked why not, she said because he didn't like them.

It really is a surreal feeling to look at your spouse like you don't even know this person and then wonder what the fuck is wrong with you that you actually chose someone who could spout this nonsense.

Amen!

WH: So, I was kind of thinking that we're like baseball.

Me: Baseball?

WH: Yeah, you know, three strikes, you're out. Even felons get three strikes.

Me: Not sure I could do that. (Thinking, you're not a felon, you're a murderer and killed our marriage.)

leafields....

To use your WS's analogy above ^^^^ in baseball both sides have a chance at the plate. So then he would be OK with you also having the "3 strikes and you are out" rule?

They are so stupid when they say this stuff and the reason why is obvious, they only think about the "rules" in their own head. They are never thinking about their partner or what is fair. Its only about them and the twisted justifications they let spin around in their affair brain.

"She's 61 years old and over weight!!!!" Yup she was 61 alright but from the bathroom posed pics that she sent him she was certainly not over weight.................And she stayed up all hours of the night with him sexting back and forth. So not too old to get his and her jollies in .....

This needed to be bumped!

I've got a new one... this is during our current separation.

"I'm not running or hiding from OUR issues just trying to give you space."

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 1:29 PM, October 29th (Tuesday)]

“You were never going to find out”

“If i could prevent her from getting hurt, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

“I love her, I’m in love with her. I’m not in love with you, I haven’t been in years.”

“She respects you. She didn’t mean to hurt you. She’s a good person. She’s a good wife and a good mother.” —Are you fucking kidding me??? Good wife and mother??? She’s fucking another married man! That makes her a good wife and mother??? What kind of fucking example is she setting for her young daughter? That it’s ok to cheat on daddy??

“If i could have anything right now, it would be to be with her.”

“We stopped using condoms after my vasectomy “ I asked how does he know she doesn’t have STD’s. His response “I just know she’s clean, I trust her. She doesn’t fuck a lot of men” — She’s obviously a fucking whore.

“She’s sexy and you’re not ....at all!”

“You don’t love me. You never do anything nice for me. When was the last time you did anything for me??” Mind you, I was doing a lot for him, he just never noticed.

“You’re not happy with me” He was telling me how I felt.

“Yeah, she used to get annoyed when I didn’t get hard while going down on her.”

“When I start my new job, I thought about who will I meet there? Who’s my next affair going to be? That’s when I realized that what I was doing was wrong” WTF right?

I don’t know. I could go on and on about all the stupid shit he said on dday and shortly after dday. Can’t exactly get those things out of my head. He realizes now what he said to me were stupid and mean. I’m glad he got out of the fog and realized who she really is.

(((PeanutButterfly))) omg that is emotional abuse

"Why did you think this marriage was going to last?" was just after she had got her permanent residence and had got her next husband, our mutual boss, on the hook.

"He and I are opportunists." English wasn't her first language so I think she meant to say something else but this is more true.

"You are not the man I thought you were." What a coincidence you only worked that out AFTER your residency and monkey branching worked out.

"I'm scared you might turn out just like your father." My father opened his home, heart and wallet to her for years. On the other hand, the ruthless, philandering father of the poison dwarf AP didn't scare her.

"I took advantage of a good friend because I knew she wouldn't tell anyone."

AND

"I didn't tell anyone (guy friends) b/c I didn't want to embarrass you (me the BS)"

If there was one thread I wish my LLCAH (low life cheating Asshat husband) would read it’s this one. His “twoo wuv” dumped his ass a couple months ago, but he thought (thinks? No idea) he was so different and special.

Nope. Garden variety lame ass mid life crisis cheating dishonest dihonorable scum, with a side of prostitution that makes it extra squicky.

My dad has died, and I’m getting pics together for a slide show for the memorial. As such, I’ve been running across the weekend trips he planned for the two of us, the 20th Anniversary extravaganza, the date nights and balls and fun. You know, while he was cheating with hookers.

But “Our marriage was never good. We weren’t happy”

Uh huh. You certainly were, you just wanted to fuck all of them and be married to the clever pretty woman who arranged the house and handled everything for your career you love.

And that folks, is why we are getting divorced. Stupid numbnuts, the things he said were actually worse than the cheating to me.

My absolute favorite:

After D-Day v1.0 and lie upon lie upon lie that I had to discover myself, I got the question/phrase "Why don't you believe me? I'm an honest person!"

Yeah...she really said it...

bump