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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 3:38 PM on Friday, May 23rd, 2014
Sad for you, Phoenix....
{{{hugs}}}
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 4:16 PM on Friday, May 23rd, 2014
still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 9:15 PM on Friday, May 23rd, 2014
I am sorry that the "why" will never get answered for you.
Sending prayers and hugs for you, for today.
Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23
iwantamiracle ( member #22812) posted at 3:15 AM on Saturday, May 24th, 2014
((((phoenix))))
having had 2 family members that committed suicide...i know the aftermath for those of us left behind can and are staggeringly overwhelming. and to boot this was your son, hard enough to deal with the loss of a child, to lose the child to suicide puts a horrific twist on the knife in your heart...
i encourage you to join a bereavement group....especially if you could find a group that specifically deals with the families of suicides....
My life is finally my own!!
I am happy and I am at peace!
I survived the worst pain I have ever known!!
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 5:41 AM on Saturday, May 24th, 2014
Prayers, (((hugs))) and a shoulder for support or tears.
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
hexed ( member #19258) posted at 3:16 AM on Sunday, May 25th, 2014
((phoenix))) thinking aboutyou and your DS this weekend.
PTSD with those that have seen the horrors of the battlefield are one of the most difficult things I can imagine. My SOs last tour ended in 2007. 7+ years later he still struggles with it. There are still occasional times when he sinks into such a dark place that nothing I or anyone else could say will pull him out of it until he is ready.
I'm not sure that there is any answer for the healing of some these mental wounds. Your poor DS had too much for a young man to deal with. I'm so sorry for all of you. You did as much as you possibly could. I think you're right that the details of why aren't that important. Phoenix you are such a tremendous person and handling this with more internal acceptance than I can imagine. I hope that you can continue to heal and find some peace.
[This message edited by hexed at 9:25 PM, May 24th (Saturday)]
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 3:59 PM on Sunday, May 25th, 2014
Sending prayers, strength, and peace.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 8:03 PM on Sunday, May 25th, 2014
(((phoenix)))
I'm still checking this thread daily and following along with your story. How I wish I could carry some bricks for you. I wish you peace as you continue to finish things up for your family.
Failure is success if we learn from it.
devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 11:51 AM on Monday, May 26th, 2014
(((Phoenix1))) Thinking about you today and everyday and hope you are doing a little better.
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
gypsybird87 ( member #39193) posted at 6:52 AM on Friday, May 30th, 2014
Thinking of you today and every day, Phoenix.
((((Phoenix))))
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
Phoenix1 (original poster member #38928) posted at 7:11 AM on Friday, May 30th, 2014
Thank you for the kind thoughts and ongoing support. Every day is another 24 hours I am trying to learn how to live life with a giant hole in my heart, knowing I will never talk to or see DS or bro ever again. So many things trigger me, but I am able to keep my visible emotions in check.
I do not end any convo with either DD without telling them I love them. Life can change irrevocably in the blink of an eye...
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 10:05 AM on Friday, May 30th, 2014
Still here listening (((Phoenix1))). I lost 5 people that I was close to in a 5 year period. Not easy and very overwhelming.
(((Phoenix1)))
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 12:37 PM on Friday, May 30th, 2014
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
lordhasaplan? ( member #30079) posted at 3:10 AM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
(((Phoenix)))
Just want you to know, I'm still thinking of you. Hoping you have a moment of reflection that brings a smile and a tear, a laugh and a hug. Hoping there is something to make you look past te despair into the blessings of the past and the love of those lost.
Hugs to you girl, hugs to you.
BS- Me (45)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R.Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 3:45 AM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
((((Phoenix))))
Not a day goes by where I don't think of you.
devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 12:25 PM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
Just checking in to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hoping the days are a little less stressful. (((Phoenix1)))
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
hexed ( member #19258) posted at 5:22 PM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
((phoenix))
just thinking about you. i hope each day brings you a measure of healing
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 1:19 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
Hi Phoenix - I hope today is a little easier for you and someone gives you a reason to smile. Thinking of you and hoping you're okay.
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
Phoenix1 (original poster member #38928) posted at 9:23 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
Unfortunately, my inner bitch switch has been flipped with the military. Very long story, but we have experienced a complete 180 in terms of "helpfulness" from what we received in Washington vs what we are receiving now. We are getting lied to and stonewalled at every turn, and I am on the war path and want someone held accountable and head(s) to roll. My ex has been told (by me) that he has today to get a hold of the proper command staff person, or I would be doing it. This involves a lot of things, but primarily has to do with the shipment of DS's personal affects/vehicles, which we were supposed to receive last month but they are still sitting in Washington, and were in an unsecured area for the past three weeks, until we made some phone calls to rectify that as of yesterday. 
Peace won't begin to come until I get DS's stuff in my possession and that chapter gets closed...
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
hexed ( member #19258) posted at 12:08 AM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
ARRRGGGG!! of all things that should not be difficult for a grieving family the return of the personal effects is high on the list.
Get those bitch boots out of the closet and kick some ass!
(((phoenix)))
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
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