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livinganew ( member #40270) posted at 4:39 AM on Friday, September 23rd, 2016
After 13 years, I am OFF THE BUS! Just when I thought my fate was an eternal bus ride... 
D-Day: Dec 23, 2012
Me: 57 BH; XWW: 55 (then)
16-yr EA and PA w/MOM--her boss; my "friend"
Married 30 yrs. 2DS: 27 & 25; DD: 21 (then)
Left for her AP
Divorced Jan 2014
I.will.survive ( member #34677) posted at 11:33 AM on Friday, September 23rd, 2016
13 years!? That has to be a record, right? 
Woohoo for you, livinganew....your user name is quite appropriate!
livinganew ( member #40270) posted at 11:56 AM on Friday, September 23rd, 2016
I think there once was someone on the bus who had me beat. Time for someone else to drive!
Just when I'd gotten to the point in my life at which I was content being divorced and single... BAM! I met an exquisitely wonderful woman.
We cannot know the future. All I can say to everyone on the bus, is: Hang in there!
Blessings, LA
D-Day: Dec 23, 2012
Me: 57 BH; XWW: 55 (then)
16-yr EA and PA w/MOM--her boss; my "friend"
Married 30 yrs. 2DS: 27 & 25; DD: 21 (then)
Left for her AP
Divorced Jan 2014
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 2:53 PM on Friday, September 23rd, 2016
After 13 years - I am hoping it was stellar! 
StrongHeart ( member #45092) posted at 3:25 PM on Friday, September 23rd, 2016
Oh wow! I am so happy for you LA!
It is really admirable to see someone take their time with something so special. I hope that it was incredible for both of you!
BS: 32; XWH: 34; DS: 3
DDay: 3/8/2014; D: 8/31/2015
"There is little growing in comfort and little comfort in growing"-unknown
"Don't take your emotional temperature in the ass of a psychopath."-unknown
digitaldrifter ( member #50161) posted at 8:12 PM on Friday, September 23rd, 2016
Wow LA, congrats! Sometimes I feel "pathetic" because it's been over a year and a half for me, but it sounds like we have similar values. I'd rather wait for something amazing than take scraps. Here's hoping you don't need a seat for a while!
Hawke ( member #47517) posted at 8:25 PM on Friday, September 23rd, 2016
That's inspiring, LA. I'm very happy for you.
Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)
MeOh ( member #53195) posted at 11:35 PM on Friday, September 23rd, 2016
Wow LA - Congrats!!!
How did you keep track? I'm either at 4 or 5 years (I fear it's the latter) but I'm not even sure! I would hope that when and if I get to 13 years I will have stopped counting for long enough that I just don't know anymore.
livinganew ( member #40270) posted at 1:52 AM on Saturday, September 24th, 2016
My goodness, I did not expect such responses! Thank you, All.
I will confess something... After 13 years, I was surprised to find that my "plumbing" didn't work! At least, not at first... I couldn't believe it! I love her so much, and was mentally gritting my teeth to make it work because I wanted her so badly--which only made it worse. My "problem" was between my ears...
But this wonderful, amazing, woman, took it all in stride, loved me just the same, and was incredibly accepting and patient. And now, well... I'm doing fine.
I don't regret my time on the bus. Everything is as it should be. I wanted "it"--if it were to happen--to be meaningful. And it is. (The first few times, I burst into tears.)
Blessings, LA
D-Day: Dec 23, 2012
Me: 57 BH; XWW: 55 (then)
16-yr EA and PA w/MOM--her boss; my "friend"
Married 30 yrs. 2DS: 27 & 25; DD: 21 (then)
Left for her AP
Divorced Jan 2014
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 3:49 AM on Saturday, September 24th, 2016
Congrats livinganew! So happy thwt you found what you were looking for in a partner.
Wave every now and again as the bus passes you by!
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
Lovingmyselfmore ( member #46119) posted at 4:20 AM on Saturday, September 24th, 2016
Awww LA
I don't regret my time on the bus. Everything is as it should be. I wanted "it"--if it were to happen--to be meaningful.
This means a lot to me!
I only have been for 2 years in the bus and regretted it from the very beginning but you are teaching me that it's beautiful to not regret it and that is beautiful to wait until the right person arrives.
Thank you so much for your words!
dday: september-12-2014
Me: 42 EX: 46 gay or bisexual (go figure!) together: 12 years
Dday to 3 months: suicidal 1 year after: huge depression- 1.5 years still kind of depressed-Took me 2.5 years to be kind of happy again
Hawke ( member #47517) posted at 5:06 AM on Saturday, September 24th, 2016
That's lovely, LA. I have a sexual dysfunction, so I'll need someone understanding to help me off the bus if/when the time comes.
Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)
dotterofTheKing ( member #45223) posted at 6:44 AM on Saturday, September 24th, 2016
LA, I am beyond happy for you. I love how you referred to your new love as an "exquisitely wonderful woman". Beautiful!
I was BW (48), He was WH (47) at D-day
Together 27 years, married for 24
D-day was August 4, 2014
We have 3 beautiful children. (Two sons 19 and 20, one daughter 14.)
Affair with HS sweetheart.
Divorced January 26, 2016
TheBest ( member #50759) posted at 1:42 PM on Tuesday, September 27th, 2016
Driver! This is my stop. I'll be getting off now. 
BS: me
WS: her
2 DDs
Trying to figure out my next move. Probably some alcohol.
one2ndchance ( member #14759) posted at 5:11 PM on Tuesday, September 27th, 2016
I don't regret my time on the bus. Everything is as it should be. I wanted "it"--if it were to happen--to be meaningful. And it is. (The first few times, I burst into tears.)
Absolutely beautiful!
There are times when I think any bus stop will do, just so I can get off the bus. This makes me realize getting off at the wrong stop will only prolong getting to where I should be going. Thanks for sharing.
Married 26 years
DDay #1 2/2002
DDay #2 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/9/2014
It's hard to see the road ahead if you're always looking in the rear view mirror.
livinganew ( member #40270) posted at 11:21 PM on Tuesday, September 27th, 2016
Bless you All! I invite you to consider that where we are is where we are supposed to be. Yes, even if we're in pain.
Who said there is life without pain? Buddha said we'd each experience 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows in our lifetime. As a BS, we get an extra dose of inexplicable, eviscerating pain--beyond all comprehension at the time. It's hard to accept that even that pain is okay.
But where I am now, is that I've grown tremendously through this pain and am better as a person. I KNOW that through my pain, I'm more loving, compassionate, empathic, than ever.
I feel now as though I cannot lose in relationships. If this new relationship ends, even badly so, well... that'd hurt a lot. Then I'll again be in pain for a time, during which I'll grow more and eventually be even better off.
On the hand, if this new relationship works out, then... THAT's wonderful.
Either way, I win.
It's a quiet strength, humility, and compassion that surrendering to, accepting, even embracing this cauldron of pain, can provide us.
Blessings on YOUR journeys!
--LA
D-Day: Dec 23, 2012
Me: 57 BH; XWW: 55 (then)
16-yr EA and PA w/MOM--her boss; my "friend"
Married 30 yrs. 2DS: 27 & 25; DD: 21 (then)
Left for her AP
Divorced Jan 2014
JM72 ( member #50760) posted at 11:59 PM on Tuesday, September 27th, 2016
Wait, your divorce was final January of 2014, but you were on the bus for 13 years???
Me - BS (43)
Her - the Princess (AKA "the victim") (44)
Married 25 years, together 27
Dday - January 2016
DS - 25, DS - 18, DD - 16, DD - 13
Divorcing - To thy own self be true
livinganew ( member #40270) posted at 1:25 AM on Wednesday, September 28th, 2016
JM72...
Wait, your divorce was final January of 2014, but you were on the bus for 13 years???
You're right, I should clarify my bus riding... I wasn't happy about a sexless marriage, which is what it was for too long. Should have been a clue for me, eh? I always thought I had another chance... Was wrong about that. I was wrong about many things.
I'm happy I took my time AFTER the marriage blew apart.
D-Day: Dec 23, 2012
Me: 57 BH; XWW: 55 (then)
16-yr EA and PA w/MOM--her boss; my "friend"
Married 30 yrs. 2DS: 27 & 25; DD: 21 (then)
Left for her AP
Divorced Jan 2014
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 1:50 AM on Wednesday, September 28th, 2016
WAIT!
Did TheBest just hop off the bus???
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
I.will.survive ( member #34677) posted at 2:27 AM on Wednesday, September 28th, 2016
WAIT!
Did TheBest just hop off the bus???
I'm over here wondering the same thing??
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