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Newest Member: BlueSea43

Just Found Out :
Honey, they always affair down

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UKgirl ( member #17062) posted at 11:32 AM on Saturday, March 20th, 2010

Bumping for those struggling.

Affair1: Dday 30/07/06 LTA: 5yrs ex-fiancee Affair2: Dday 04/09/20 9mths another XHSgf.
Me/BS, still young. Him/WS, old. 4 grown boys
Having an affair because you are unhappy is like eating Ex-lax because you are hungry - unfound's mom

posts: 4038   ·   registered: Nov. 17th, 2007   ·   location: UK
id 4484469
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selkiescot ( member #23777) posted at 12:47 PM on Saturday, March 20th, 2010

IN a word. Profound I am showing my WH TONIGHT!

The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

posts: 1411   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2009   ·   location: CT
id 4484505
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IStillLoveHim ( member #8415) posted at 2:28 PM on Saturday, March 20th, 2010

The day I came to realize this was my second epiphany. The first one was that the A was not my fault, that I did not cause it, could not control it, that it really had absolutely nothing to do with me.

Great post...!

“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.” -Ben Okri

posts: 172   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2005   ·   location: Midwest
id 4484566
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openedupmyeyes ( member #27871) posted at 8:16 PM on Saturday, March 20th, 2010

"BRAVA!!!!"

THIS NEEDS TO BE POSTED @ THE TOP!!! I'M GOING TO READ AND REMEMBER THIS EVERYDAY!!!

Me:55 BS
Him:55 FWH Trying to make me a believer?
Years married:37
:03-01-10: The day I learned the truth
Kids:Daughters 4 all grown and married.
Reconciliation is hard.
Really freakin' hard.

posts: 771   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2010   ·   location: The Great State of Texas
id 4484919
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mamab ( member #24393) posted at 8:31 PM on Saturday, March 20th, 2010

I just printed this and will keep it to read when I'm feeling down. So true, who else would take a married man, only someone with very low standards.

BS (Me) 47
WH 48 SA,
DD # 1 12/06
DD # 2 6/1/07
MOW fishing 2/14/10 & 9/23/10
MOW highschool gf (ho)

posts: 72   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2009   ·   location: Texas
id 4484945
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moreroses ( member #26283) posted at 8:37 PM on Saturday, March 20th, 2010

Yes, this is how it was in our case.

BW;Me
DDay;2-14-08 when former ow decided to enlighten me about previous A
marriage rebuilt, felt rebuilt at 2 1/2 yrs out
long marriage with 4 kids

"And the stars that we could reach were just starfish on the beach"-French folksong

posts: 1399   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 4484956
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RescueMomma ( new member #27984) posted at 1:06 AM on Sunday, March 21st, 2010

Nothing has made me feel any better...until I read this!

posts: 7   ·   registered: Mar. 19th, 2010
id 4485209
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AlwaysSmilingNow ( new member #27997) posted at 1:31 AM on Sunday, March 21st, 2010

Thank You so much "deathbybetrayal". I know that I needed to here what you posted and I know it to be absolutely true. Thanks again...

posts: 2   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2010
id 4485230
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Rise And Shine ( member #27513) posted at 1:34 AM on Sunday, March 21st, 2010

Brilliant. Thank you.

April 25, 2009

posts: 3263   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2010
id 4485234
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njgal480 ( member #24938) posted at 2:08 AM on Sunday, March 21st, 2010

I've read this before but it always makes me feel better.

I often fall into the trap of feeling less than and giving way too much power to the MOW serial cheater loser.

My husband did drop her the minute I discovered the affair, all of her former married co-worker affair partners did the same thing-dropped her and never looked back, her husband finally divorced her....so, why do I allow myself to continue to feel bad about myself? The MOW is the one that should be feeling bad...

What you have written is the absolute truth.

Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.

posts: 3174   ·   registered: Jul. 23rd, 2009   ·   location: NJ
id 4485272
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AttemptStrength ( member #27947) posted at 2:47 AM on Sunday, March 21st, 2010

I found this site five days ago. Wish I'd found it two months ago because this would have been as uplifting then as it is now.

Been having a very bad day and this has helped. :)

BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS

I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.

posts: 1992   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2010   ·   location: Wisconsin
id 4485304
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TryingMyHardest ( member #27168) posted at 12:57 PM on Sunday, March 21st, 2010

Hey, yeah, just in case somebody wants to see this, my WW was also an OW (says she didn't know until his wife called me) and she's really pretty, but at the time she was a drug addict with about half a normal brain who (according to her) lost consciousness during sex. So DBB has a fine point, based on my anecdotal evidence.

Married 2006
2 kids, 4yo
D-Day 1: December 30th 2009
D-Day 2: 2/1/11
D-day 3: 2/13/11
D-Day 4: 3/28/11
WW Drug addict for 2 years, Morphine, Fentanyl, Xanax, clean since June '09
5 OM, about 20 seperate sexual encounters

posts: 215   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2010
id 4485646
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Notgoing2forgive ( new member #27068) posted at 9:44 PM on Sunday, March 21st, 2010

Thank you so much! I really needed to hear that today.

Me-33
Him-37
2 Beautiful children-7 & 12
Married 13 years
D-Day Oct. 2. 2009
I am Stronger than I thought!!!!

posts: 18   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 4486274
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smallmouse ( member #19649) posted at 5:36 AM on Monday, March 22nd, 2010

thanks for this post!

XWH's own mother put it best, she told me once that he left because he can't stand a woman as good as me, I magnify his flaws.

sm

*edited just to say, can't believe this post is still out here! lol

[This message edited by smallmouse at 6:38 PM, December 7th (Sunday)]

pancakes!

posts: 1446   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2008
id 4486904
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shattered123 ( member #27843) posted at 6:04 PM on Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Dear Death,

Thank you for these words, on today one of the worst days of my life. It is obvious your words have helped so many of us. Today, I am praying for the strength to survive.

Me: 52

WH: 46

Skank: 32

Married 15 years, together 17

Trying for R, trying to survive

posts: 2590   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2010
id 4487644
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 9:50 AM on Monday, April 12th, 2010

Bumping this for newbies.

Is there any way this can make it into the Healing Library?

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6398   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 4524995
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BrokenWoman007 ( member #27854) posted at 6:05 PM on Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

Bump, bump - love this post!

It is so true. When I get really down about WH A I have to keep telling myself that I am a wonderful woman - educated, loving, strong, and a wonderful mommy - and that she is nothing that can't keep her hands of of other women's spouses and is spending the next 2 1/2 years in the "big house" - the one with bars where they have to wear those lovely orange jumpsuits - because she has no self control

Me: 33, WH: 34, 1 DD
DDay: Jan. 2010 - confessed ONS
DDay2: Aug 2010 - confessed inappropriate texting
OW1 - 21; felon; Texting 3 other women - claims no physical contact
Hurting - still. . . .

posts: 285   ·   registered: Mar. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 4527738
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emeraldisle ( member #20480) posted at 6:37 PM on Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

THANK YOU, DBB....thank you.

Me: BW, married 14yrs
D-Day 04/2008; 07/2008; 10/2008; 03/2010 & 08/2010
DIVORCED, and moving forward

posts: 1016   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 4527831
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luvhimso ( member #7478) posted at 5:59 AM on Wednesday, April 14th, 2010

DBB, that is Empowering. Thank you for saying it so well.

The meaning of life is to make life meaningful.

posts: 497   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2005
id 4529053
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 6:32 AM on Sunday, April 25th, 2010

Bump

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6398   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 4550387
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