chica1 (original poster member #52126) posted at 11:16 PM on Monday, January 26th, 2026
Back again,
Husband had 1 night stand in 2016 while I was pregnant with our 2nd and last child. I caught him, he admitted and cut ties immediately. Ended up reconciling in what I believed was the right way to recovery. Joint professional counseling, church counseling, retreats, books etc. A few days ago, 10 years post affair #1, I asked to see his phone because of red flags I’d been noticing and my gut feeling. He didn’t allow it at first but then said ok. Discovered text messages with female, he text things like I miss you a lot, I wish I was with you etc. As of now he’s claiming it’s a texting relationship with a female he met at the gym. So far no admission to sex or face to face meeting, since that gym closed last summer. But admitted to sexting and wanting to have sex with her but it hadnt come to fulfillment.
I am currently disappointed, probably some shock, not surprised though and still don’t believe I’m getting full story. I don’t feel distraught like the first affair. I didn’t cry much, all I could think of was our 2 kids (under 13years) and how a separation/divorce will affect them. He’s apologizing and asking for forgiveness…etc. I honestly feel like he’s not my husband and I’m seeing him like a person who just lost everything like a loser. Again, these last few days, I haven’t thought about him, his feelings or even cared if he’s still talking to her. I’m thinking about how I can protect my kids. I’m sure my feelings will be changing as I process or he may release more info on this affair, but I don’t care. I just feel like I don’t want him anymore. I’m just taking my time to think as I am a overthinker! Thanks for reading
SAHM
Married 15 years
2 awesome kids under 13 years old
DDay #1 2016 one night stand
DDay #2 01/2026 "EA?" Idk how long
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:22 AM on Tuesday, January 27th, 2026
I’m so sorry you found this out. But so glad you came back to us.. and I think taking your time and deciding the next steps is the right approach. Feel free to read in the separation divorce for him to see how others have done this if that’s one of the options you’re considering.
So sorry he wasn’t able to truly change
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:47 AM on Tuesday, January 27th, 2026
I’m sorry this has reappeared and you are now facing the issue with an inability to resolve the problem. Let’s assume that Reconciliation is not an option b/c you no longer trust him.
What is your plan? See an attorney or mediator?
Give it time to gather an exit strategy?
Separate for now and plan for D?
I hope you at least get some counseling for yourself.
[This message edited by The1stWife at 10:47 AM, Tuesday, January 27th]
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
