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NotThisTime ( member #11848) posted at 5:02 AM on Saturday, April 7th, 2007
Would you settle for the script? Seriously, there's a great book called The Script: the 100% absolutely predictable things men to when they cheat, by Vicky Mainzer. It's all right there, in black and white ...
http://www.amazon.com/Script-Absolutely-Predictable-Things-Cheat/dp/B000FDFWPA/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-8096212-9709546?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175918393&sr=1-1
NCyankee ( member #13456) posted at 1:23 PM on Saturday, April 7th, 2007
I thought we weren't gonna make it
Translation:You didn't unconditionally adore me so I had to shop around preemptively for your replacement.
Me:BS
Him:FWH
M:4 years
Together 7 years
Kids (mine)25, 22, 19, 17
D-day 1/10/07
scout ( member #3986) posted at 12:12 AM on Sunday, April 8th, 2007
I always knew she was after *something*, afterall, what would a girl want with a man as old as her father.
Trans: See, I'm not stupid, I always knew she was a goldigger but I got the sex and adoration I wanted and she got nothing. Am I brilliant, or what?
FreedomRoad ( member #13961) posted at 3:24 AM on Sunday, April 8th, 2007
"You are the only woman I ever loved."
But I don't believe that should stop me from sleeping around!
"I didn't think you cared."
I thought you washed my laundry, cooked my meals and listened to my unending work problems because you were bored and needed to pass the time.
Conduct your blooming in the noise and the whip of the whirlwind - Gwendolyn Brooks
ichoose2live ( member #10479) posted at 8:06 PM on Monday, April 9th, 2007
She thought her H was cheating on her...Now's my chance to get a piece of the action, you know hit her when she's down!
Yes I told her I have feelings for her, but I never said love...She didn't have time to service me since she was having an affair with her other boss...I don't have a prob with sloppy seconds..er thirds!
Her vacation schedule was on my computer so I'd know when to take mine... With her, but you messed that one up!
I didn't really know her...Not as well as I'd like too.
The cat got more respect than me...The cat doesn't stray, she's been fixed... too bad it didn't have the same affect on you!
I was lost... No you were an a-hole.
I had a dumb ass attack..Can't argue that one!
I only wanted you...And her if she'll give me the time of day.
I thought you were putting $ in the savings account so you could leave me...I tried to get the $ out to buy "her" nice things.
We only ate lunch together 2 or 3 times... It would have been more but you put all the extra $ in the savings account.
"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear." unknown
roadlesstraveled ( member #13501) posted at 9:16 PM on Monday, April 9th, 2007
Here are some that I heard:
"Sometimes in life, you have to throw out the good with the bad" (WS said as he was leaving me)
Trans: Yeah, I'm leaving you without warning, but you're a great person..really!
"I don't know who I am"
Trans: But I'm going to find out with her, not you.
"I don't know"
Trans: I am the only one that knows but why give you more ammo?
"I don't remember"
Trans: Of course I remember but telling you wouldn't help me out any, now would it?
"I swear to you there is no one else"
Trans: No one except OW that is..but she doesn't count, right?
"I'm so sorry that things turned out this way"
Trans: I am in no way accepting responsibility for my actions, so let's just chalk it up to an unfortunate event beyond my control...
"My friendship is there for you if you need it"
Trans: And with friends like me, who needs enemies??
"Our marriage wouldn't have worked out anyway"
Trans: See, the affair was inevitable! This excuse is handy proof!
"Life is what happens when your plans go astray."
921Lisa ( member #7849) posted at 3:06 PM on Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
"Our marriage problems have nothing to do with my girlfriend."
I can't come up with a translation for that one.
Behind every successful man is his woman.
Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (Mr Sim York Soo)
Reconciled
hanecita ( member #10297) posted at 6:28 PM on Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
Lisa:
"My girlfriend has nothing to do with our marriage problems"
possible translations:
I take no responsiblity for my poor choices and actions.
Any other input on possible translations???
921Lisa ( member #7849) posted at 8:17 AM on Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
My translation is "stupid shit just keeps coming out of my mouth".
Thank God he's fully defogged now. It isn't even "MY FAULT" anymore. Geeze, who'd of thunk?
I've got plenty more good ones. Bet no one heard this one...
WH called me (late) all chipper and in a great mood telling me he was on his way home from work. We hang up. I call work and talkid to the manager who says "he left a long time ago". I call WH back, and ask him "where are you, I just called work"?
He answers:
I WAS AT WORK, Manager is getting Alzheimers and just doesn't remember!
Behind every successful man is his woman.
Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (Mr Sim York Soo)
Reconciled
921Lisa ( member #7849) posted at 8:21 AM on Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
Oh, another great one!
FWH bought FOW a wedding ring. Keep in mind this "romance" lasted a FULL SEVEN WEEKS at best.
I asked him "why the hell did you buy HER a wedding ring???
His answer:
Her and her husband recently separated and she pawned hers. They got back together and he wont buy her a replacement.
I F'CKING WONDER WHY?!?!?!
Behind every successful man is his woman.
Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (Mr Sim York Soo)
Reconciled
kwash ( member #13957) posted at 9:41 PM on Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
"It had nothing to do with you" (as a matter of fact YOU never even crossed our minds...)
kwash ( member #13957) posted at 9:44 PM on Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
"Our marriage problems have nothing to do with my girlfriend" (So I didn't bother her with any of that - why should SHE have to listen to our problems)!
puddles ( member #13324) posted at 10:34 PM on Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
"I was never going to leave you for her" (I was going to keep it going as long as I could and you didnt find out)
"She's not like that" (don't shatter my illusion of OW by telling me the truth about what a slut she really is)
"I don't know how I feel about her" (I am a scared shitless to tell you how I really feel, that WE were in-love and I didnt think twice about you or the kids)
"I felt like our marriage was already over" (I dont love you because I am f-ing someone else)
" I was lonely" (so instead of coming home to be with my family I took time away from you to f-ck someone else behind your back)
"She needed me" (to buy her jewelry, crads, flowers, a car, and to pay her various other expenses)
"her ex-H was abusive" (and I am her knight in shining armour...and you dont need me, you can take care of yourself)
BS (me) 44
WH 42 (LTA:5 years, OW#1)
Married 18 years, together 23
3 beautiful kids
4 Offical D-days (OW#1 6/2004 & 8/2006, OW#2 3/2008 & 6/2008)
FALSE R: Separated (10/30/07)
Rlmtex51 ( member #5986) posted at 4:10 AM on Thursday, April 12th, 2007
I haven't read this whole thread but this seems more like a BS translation handbook. Does anyone think we could get it published?
Giving up the anger and caution that keep you on your toes against danger--is not a smart thing to do
Never forget that a half truth is a whole lie
4 years past D-day !!!!!!!!!
tkd1 ( member #6661) posted at 3:33 PM on Thursday, April 12th, 2007
Nothing new to add for me. Heard all of these.
I just wanted to say that not too long ago, this thread would have triggered me BADLY. Now, tho, I can actually laugh at some of the absurdities. Not laughing at any BS's pain, mind you. Just at how they (WSs) all follow the same "Script".
I must be "healed", or somewhere thereabouts. As much as I can be, anyhow.
[This message edited by tkd1 at 9:34 AM, April 12th (Thursday)]
"I Just need a compass and a willing accomplice." P!nk, Crystal Ball
Melanie ( member #4118) posted at 12:53 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2007
I was NEVER physically attracted to her at all! (I still can't figure this one out--why was he involved with her for two years??)
I never had sexual relations with that woman! (If it worked for Bill Clinton, it should work for me)
She is a LESBIAN--she doesn't even like men!! (I think several of us BS heard something similar to this one)
I think this thread could last for a loooong time--I keep thinking of new ones.
Me BS. Him FWH (not sure how many A's).Last big Dday was 5/04. He admitted 1 PA, then recanted, I'm still waiting for the whole truth. We're still married, but it will never be like it used to be.
mom of 2 ( member #11214) posted at 3:51 AM on Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
Me: BW
Divorced after 23 years of M thanks to XH's truth trickle.
Status: Recovering and healing. It's going to be a long hard road.
Update November 2013: It only took seven years but I finally turned a corner. :)
ilookstupid ( member #15170) posted at 4:08 AM on Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
OMG DO THEY SHARE THIS SHIT???ws said 99% of this to me.
I don't have anthing to add you sumed it up in a nut shell 
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's sky
But why
Why
Why can't it be
Why can't it be mine
me-bs
married 12 years
known for 16
d-day1 2/01
d-day#2 6/07
OnlyLonely ( member #14326) posted at 4:12 PM on Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
I didn't stop because I didn't want to hurt either of you- I like cake, cake is good.
I was at the point where I was ready for it to end one way or the other, I couldn't go on anymore
.-It got too expensive to use the pay as you go phone so I hoped you wouldn't see the phone bill. I am not ready for it to be over.... I like cake.
You know that I will never leave you and will always be with you forever- But I'll still fuck other people and think that I am in love with her.
I never thought that you'd leave me ever-WTF??? I thought I had two chicks who thought the sun and moon revolved around me. cake is GOOD!
In an answer to why he says I don't know and I don't remember:
I told so many lies that I really can't remember saying or doing that- Holy shit this one is true!
[This message edited by OnlyLonely at 10:14 AM, July 4th (Wednesday)]
Me: BS
Him: FWH
Married: 18 years
Status: In R
SerJR ( member #14993) posted at 4:22 PM on Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
"I would never cheat on you while we were married. That's why I asked for a separation."
Translation:
I wanted to make sure he/she wanted to F$%# before I left you.
Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.
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