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wannabenormal ( member #19772) posted at 8:52 PM on Friday, July 25th, 2008
This may or may not have been posted already - sooo many repsonses to read, but I wish I would've done this sooner:
get a calendar or day planner or something along those lines and document everything from D-day on.
If you journal now (or keep a diary of some sort), this will probably help you too, you can write down your feelings in addition to 'key' things that happened that day (ex. WS said they were working late...until 11pm though?)
This will come in handy if you plan to divorce. I was advised by a lawyer I'm planning to see next week to 'bring a diary' and any other proof I have. It might even come in handy if you are not planning on divorcing, I wish I would've done it sooner myself.
I have some proof now and plan to enter key things by date in the new calendar I purchased this afternoon. I'm also going to do some banking research for purchases that were odd and enter those as well.
P.S. - if you like this idea and are thinking you'll do the same, good luck finding a 2008 calendar! Since school's starting and the year is more than half over, calendars are pretty much all 2009 only or a combo of Aug. '08 - July '09 (upcoming school year). I got one, but it's not exactly what I wanted. At least it's not a Hannah Montana one or something! 
[This message edited by wannabenormal at 2:56 PM, July 25th (Friday)]
travels ( member #20334) posted at 12:00 AM on Saturday, July 26th, 2008
I wish I had not gone to the party where we met.
I wish I would have left after the first EA.
I wish I would have questioned him sooner about the final "just friends" relationship.
I REALLY wish I had found this site when it started all those years ago! But better late then never. 
[This message edited by travels at 6:03 PM, July 25th (Friday)]
When one door closes, another door opens. It's the journey through the hallway that sucks.
"After a breakup, the loyal one stays single and deals with the damages until healed. The other one is already in another relationship."
brohl5 ( member #13440) posted at 8:20 PM on Monday, July 28th, 2008
I'm not going to let this define me anymore. He's gone and I couldn't be happier.
You couldn't have told me in July and December of 2006, but there really is a life after this mess.
Breathe, just breathe.
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 2:51 AM on Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
bbee ( member #17840) posted at 5:36 PM on Sunday, August 3rd, 2008
bump
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1
wonderingbull ( member #14833) posted at 6:46 PM on Saturday, August 9th, 2008
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...
James Taylor
TheBetrayedOne ( new member #20388) posted at 3:17 AM on Monday, August 11th, 2008
Awesome list--
The only thing I would add to that is,I would've started computer monitoring him when my intuition was telling me something was not quite right.
BS Me: 53
WH Him: 59
Married: 27yrs
2: Adult Children
2: Grandkids
DD: July 22, 2008
Trying to Reconcile
"Taking One Day At A Time"
oldtimer97 ( member #2365) posted at 9:35 AM on Wednesday, August 13th, 2008
“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
― Maya Angelou
To save a marriage, you must be willing to lose the marriage.
brohl5 ( member #13440) posted at 2:46 AM on Thursday, August 14th, 2008
I'm not going to let this define me anymore. He's gone and I couldn't be happier.
You couldn't have told me in July and December of 2006, but there really is a life after this mess.
Breathe, just breathe.
wannabenormal ( member #19772) posted at 3:07 AM on Thursday, August 14th, 2008
Another thing I wish I'd done from d-day on was to squirrel away money for me. As a SAHM, I don't have my own income. I would also advise to keep it cash - if you open an account in your name and end up divorcing, that money will be considered in marital assets, I believe.
wonderingbull ( member #14833) posted at 7:07 PM on Saturday, August 16th, 2008
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...
James Taylor
meskel ( member #20669) posted at 9:29 PM on Saturday, August 16th, 2008
Thank you this really helps. I am 2 months since DDay and my H is still refusing to do NC letter/phone call. He wants to handle it his "own way" by ignoring the woman. BS!
Sumrlady ( member #4355) posted at 7:13 AM on Monday, August 18th, 2008
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover-Mark Twain
cd103 ( member #1713) posted at 11:31 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2008
"I would also advise to keep it cash - if you open an account in your name and end up divorcing, that money will be considered in marital assets, I believe."
You can buy gift cards for groceries, gas, pay housepayment ahead. Have someone you trust keep for you. Be careful that gift cards are for one year or longer.
blessings, cd
[This message edited by cd103 at 5:32 PM, August 18th (Monday)]
Balancing Act ( member #19047) posted at 1:42 PM on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
bumping for the newbies...
Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance
Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy
Balancing Act ( member #19047) posted at 11:51 AM on Friday, August 29th, 2008
Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance
Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy
dreamer1 ( member #13716) posted at 11:57 PM on Friday, August 29th, 2008
Great post...
Wish I had done all these things and stuck to them, then I would'nt be facing the rest of my married life with OW in it. Now that they have OC together. WTF was I thinking, I could make him want me again.. He always wanted me but wanted extra fun along the way...
I have recently given him final 3 weeks to get into IC. or I AM DONE...
It took me this F...ing long to realise what I truely need him to do.
Good luck to you all. This should have been here 2 yrs ago, and I really should have listened to the advice not just read it and take what I wanted. Most times they are dead on, now that I look back at the situations...
Hopes and prayers for all you out there. Stand tall..
S(he) Be(lie)ve(d)
Me-BS 48
Him-FWH 50
Friends 34 yrs-Married 26 yrs
D-Day 1/20/2007
LTA-To Many False R to count and D-days, Last D-day June 11,2010
4 stepchildren SS 28, SD 29, Twin SS 2yrs.
Twin OC, born 6/23/2008
Trying to see if R is pos
Balancing Act ( member #19047) posted at 10:29 PM on Sunday, August 31st, 2008
Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance
Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy
OnlyLonely ( member #14326) posted at 11:51 PM on Sunday, August 31st, 2008
Me: BS
Him: FWH
Married: 18 years
Status: In R
Balancing Act ( member #19047) posted at 2:42 PM on Friday, September 5th, 2008
Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance
Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy
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