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What About Bob ( member #8572) posted at 10:31 PM on Tuesday, April 24th, 2007
AMEN!!!!
They all swear not only the sun and the moon but also the stars when they are busted.
"I swear I will do whatever it takes to change...blah, blah, blah"
But funny how as soon as you let up on the pressure even a little they are like a dog right back to it's own vomit.
It is called sorry I got caught not remorseful for putting others through hell via their shitty actions and total lack of morals.
"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Janis Joplin
"God is great, beer is good and people are crazy"
Candlemaker ( member #1600) posted at 12:11 AM on Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
Had I followed this advice when the A first came out in 2002 I would have saved myself years of pain and stress related health problems.
If you can't go to bed with a good man, go to bed with a good book. It's much better company in the long run.
Jodi Thomas
mom of 2 ( member #11214) posted at 8:14 PM on Thursday, April 26th, 2007
Me: BW
Divorced after 23 years of M thanks to XH's truth trickle.
Status: Recovering and healing. It's going to be a long hard road.
Update November 2013: It only took seven years but I finally turned a corner. :)
betrayed47 ( new member #14386) posted at 2:23 PM on Friday, April 27th, 2007
Excellent advice. I just found out one month ago, when the WS called to tell me he was going out on a dinner/movie date with OW. He not only called and told me, but he called and told his entire family. He must have been very proud of himself!
Anyway, I have managed to do all the wrong things and he has indeed been remorseful and promised to change for 3-4 days, but refused NC with OW because he doesn't want to be "ignorant to her". I have actually copied this advice and plan on reading it daily. This is absolutely perfect! Thank you.
wanttoletgo ( member #13496) posted at 2:39 PM on Friday, April 27th, 2007
I so needed to read this...just to clear my head a bit. My XWH has recently showed signs of remorse, and I of course jump into hopeful mode. This was a good wake up call for me. Thank you!
polar ( member #14400) posted at 3:46 PM on Monday, April 30th, 2007
<<bump>>
this one helped me a lot... bump for other newbies.
BH- 37
XWW- 34- EA/PA
ddays: 3/24/07, 4/2/07, 4/21/07, etc...
Divorced before '08 could have any d-days in it. :)
I never would have left if she would have just come back.
hurtbs ( member #10866) posted at 3:58 PM on Monday, April 30th, 2007
I wish I had outted her to her LTBBF. They had lived together for a year or so. He never knew about the A. She broke up with him to pursue (then)WH full-time. He never knew why - other than what she told him which was that he was 'cold and distant' (I"m sure it was bullshit) and that she was interested in dating other people (she was already screwing WH in *their* bed). He deserved to know what was going on.
When WH became a FWH and threw her under the bus, she ran back to him under the guise that her 'boyfriend had dumped her to get back together with an ex-girlfriend.' He took her back. I was torn between the fact that she was now 'distracted' by her BF. However, she was still attempting to contact FWH - still pursuing him. Should have outed her to him then.
However, after a few months, they broke up again.
I really wish that I had told him. He had a right to know what was going on with his life. Sometimes I think that I didn't tell him because I was a coward.
Me - 40 something. WXH DDay 2006, Divorced 2012
WBF DDay #1 9/2022 #2 11/2022
Single
SCORNED ( member #6301) posted at 6:46 PM on Monday, April 30th, 2007
*Bump* for the newbies.
I wish Katherines post was in the healing Library. 
"The cruelest lies are often told in silence."
Robert Louis Stevenson
Librasrock ( member #9453) posted at 8:05 PM on Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
Bumping this for some people today 
k9lover1 ( member #8531) posted at 2:58 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
D-Day was 10/9/05
He promised NC. He lied. After 4 chances, I kicked him out 1/05/06.
Since then I have survived cancer surgery and a heart attack.
Now he's sorry, but it's too late. He died an alcoholic on 9/5/17.
Mango ( member #6536) posted at 6:40 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
Excellent post Katherine!!
Snowy ( member #14028) posted at 3:34 AM on Thursday, May 10th, 2007
I love your post. I wish I did all this when my dday occurred.
The other thing I wished I did was get angry earlier rather than feeling sorry for my self.
It took me a while to realise I had nothing to be sorry for. The bitch of a wife and that slutt of a woman (it was a lesbian affair) have a lot to answer for.
SCORNED ( member #6301) posted at 6:56 PM on Friday, May 11th, 2007
"The cruelest lies are often told in silence."
Robert Louis Stevenson
pmal64 ( member #13551) posted at 8:36 PM on Friday, May 11th, 2007
I wish I had known these things the first time around... I think I have been an enabler 
.:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:.
BS-me-55
WH -60
"when they show you who they are, believe them"
mom of 2 ( member #11214) posted at 1:02 AM on Sunday, May 13th, 2007
This should stay on Page ONE.
edited for typo
[This message edited by mom of 2 at 7:19 PM, May 12th (Saturday)]
Me: BW
Divorced after 23 years of M thanks to XH's truth trickle.
Status: Recovering and healing. It's going to be a long hard road.
Update November 2013: It only took seven years but I finally turned a corner. :)
soduped1 ( member #13925) posted at 1:18 AM on Sunday, May 13th, 2007
This post and the one by unicornsearcher should be in the Library or always at the top of the thread. I have read them both so often and want every BS to see them.
SD
leanne27 ( member #14415) posted at 1:27 AM on Sunday, May 13th, 2007
Excellent advice!
I have been wondering how long to let the "fog" go on for and when to start pushing the bottom lines.
I am at around week 2 and the whole issue has not really been dealt with. I was going to give him a few more weeks and then start talking/demanding.
Limits and bottom lines are so, so important if you are going to get what you need and not continue to be walked all over.
We can all be strong and stand up for what we need and get it from somewhere if not from our WS
me bs married 9 years
together 10 1/2
k9lover1 ( member #8531) posted at 6:53 PM on Monday, May 14th, 2007
D-Day was 10/9/05
He promised NC. He lied. After 4 chances, I kicked him out 1/05/06.
Since then I have survived cancer surgery and a heart attack.
Now he's sorry, but it's too late. He died an alcoholic on 9/5/17.
bkewidow ( member #14205) posted at 6:55 PM on Monday, May 14th, 2007
Great bump, k9. There are so many new people arriving... 
However, I am glad we are here. Newbies, make sure you read everything in The Healing Library. So much good info. there...
J
DDay: 3/30/07
Married 14 years, together 16
One kid; mine, Three kids; ours
DDay 2 - Oct. 2007
Confirmed OW1 (from 8 yrs ago)
Women might be able to fake an orgasm, but apparently my husband could fake an entire relationship.
sadinlove ( member #7131) posted at 7:01 PM on Monday, May 14th, 2007
All newbies should read this. This is ALL so true. I am 2 years out and feel the exact same.
Me - BS 38
Him - WS 38
4 kids - 20,17,13 and 11
Married 20 years
D-day - 3/23/05
Affair with old high school girlfriend, Recovered and Reconciled
All info here was updated 2/5/08
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