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Dagny07 ( member #16928) posted at 4:12 PM on Wednesday, November 24th, 2010
Me:BW Him: FWH E/A
M: 30 years, together 37 : both guilty of PAs 20+ years ago
CDay#1 Oct 06 (false); DDay#2 Oct 07 (truth from OW's BH)
R: Tenaciously optimistic
SuspiciousWife ( member #18108) posted at 2:37 AM on Sunday, November 28th, 2010
Me - BW, 44
Him - FWH, 44
OW - former co-worker
3 great kids
DDay - April 25, 2008 - mostly EA with one make-out session
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 3:58 AM on Wednesday, December 1st, 2010
moving this to page 1 again ...
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
ShockedandNumb ( member #30151) posted at 4:16 AM on Wednesday, December 1st, 2010
Thank you for sharing your valuable insight Katherine!!
I am so sorry your pain led you to this experience, but so grateful that you were led to share it with us. (((hugs)))
Your a rock and a great testimony! Best wishes in your journey ahead.
D-Day#1-11/2005--me-8 weeks pregnant
D-Day#2 11/17/2010 same OW-LTA
BS(me)44
WS(him)42 yrs old.
4 daughters/19+ yr marriage
Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him....
brokeninfl ( member #21896) posted at 3:03 PM on Thursday, December 2nd, 2010
Just bumping again. This is one everyone should read -- and heed. I wish I had.
"On the other side of fear lies freedom"
Me - 39 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 3:28 AM on Tuesday, December 14th, 2010
Bump. Essential advice (if conditions are as Katherine41 lays them out) ...
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
willIsurvivethis ( member #29209) posted at 9:07 PM on Tuesday, December 14th, 2010
Excellent post, although do you think always outing the op is the answer. Isn't it more about the spouse that cheated.
What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger
knockedsideways ( member #29859) posted at 4:22 PM on Wednesday, December 15th, 2010
Me: BW (46)
Him : (F)WH (46)
D-Day 8th June 2010
23years of M (25 together)
2 teenagers
knockedsideways ( member #29859) posted at 4:23 PM on Wednesday, December 15th, 2010
Me: BW (46)
Him : (F)WH (46)
D-Day 8th June 2010
23years of M (25 together)
2 teenagers
alluringillusion ( member #4029) posted at 2:47 PM on Monday, December 20th, 2010
"I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."
jb3199 ( member #27673) posted at 3:17 PM on Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010
BH-50s
WW-50s
2 boys
Married over 30yrs.
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary PuckettD-Day(s): EnoughAccepting that I can/may end this marriage 7/2/14
Junebug0525 ( member #29142) posted at 3:50 PM on Sunday, December 26th, 2010
Me: BS
Him: WXH DDay-11/22/2009~ D~ 10/25/10
OWhore: Co-worker (7 years younger)
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." AND THEY DID!!!
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 10:38 PM on Sunday, December 26th, 2010
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
Ellejay ( member #30498) posted at 11:16 PM on Sunday, December 26th, 2010
Yes, that is great advice for someone like me who is newly separated. I do think it is OK though to allow your spouse to see and hear your emotions. Yes, you have to show strength and fortitude and be resolute in your minimum requirements of them but remember these people have largely carried on the way they have because they forget they are dealing with human beings here - I mean what are we robots? They need to see and feel the affect of what they have done. Great post.
Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?
cass ( member #24261) posted at 4:47 PM on Wednesday, December 29th, 2010
DDay - April 2008
Me - 58 and doing great, alone.
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket!
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 2:02 AM on Thursday, December 30th, 2010
So many newbies. 
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
lordmayhem ( member #30526) posted at 9:36 AM on Thursday, December 30th, 2010
I really really wish I had more evidence before my DDay. Instead, I had pretty much lost my mind on DDay and followed a friend's advice to confront her about the EA. Of course, what I got were lies. "He's just a friend" and other BS.
Everything I know now is only because of my investigations weeks and months after DDay, and even now I get TT. I wish I had researched Infidelity sooner and found sites like this BEFORE DDay. All the signs were there, and the thing of it is, this happened to me before in my first marriage. But that was 23 years ago, and I must have forgotten them because I trusted this wife so completely that she had me fooled.
BH-me, 45
fWW-her, 50
Married 21 yrs
2 kids (21, 12)
D-Day: 06/11/10
In R at this time
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 10:53 PM on Saturday, January 1st, 2011
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
openedupmyeyes ( member #27871) posted at 1:05 AM on Sunday, January 2nd, 2011
bump!!! sorry so many of us here. GLAD there is a HERE!
Happy New Year!!!
What I wish I'd done? Snatched that Bit$h Silly, which bit@h? both.Him and her.
Me:55 BS
Him:55 FWH Trying to make me a believer?
Years married:37
:03-01-10: The day I learned the truth
Kids:Daughters 4 all grown and married.
Reconciliation is hard.
Really freakin' hard.
wordsfail ( member #30289) posted at 11:35 PM on Monday, January 3rd, 2011
bumping - great post.
thank you!!
SHE/ME: 40's
WSO: 40's
OW: x-BF, 30's
Met 11/06. Moved in 1/08. Engaged 8/09. EA 11/09. PA began ??. My Mom died 12/09. DD 2/8/10. WSO is with x-BF now. My Dad died 12/10.
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