SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

(((burnt_toast)))

Sending you strength and hugs.

Dear Universe/Life/Whatever,

I've been trying, to the best of my ability, to adjust and cope with the huge changes in my life over the past year.

I've gone along with things that scared the hell out of me and didn't want to do because they were better for the majority of the family. I set aside my personal feelings for the good of the rest of the family.

I'm glad my husband is happier, I'm glad that my children are happier. I am so incredibly grateful that my son is now in a school where he isn't the target of school bullies anymore and he looks forward to going to school and seeing his friends. That is a HUGE relief.

I went into these huge changes believing that I'd make peace with it and adapt, like I've always done.

But I'm not. I'm miserable and struggling to get through every day.

I could write a book on why I feel that way, but I won't.

When can I catch a break? When do all these changes become a positive thing for me?

Will I ever feel like I "fit" here?

I need something good, just for me, because I'm doubting every decision and choice I've made in my life.

Please, please, please, can you help me out here?

Please?

sunlil

(((sunlil)))

*

Dear New-Extra-light-Down-Perfomance-Winter-Coat,

I didn't order you only because I needed something less restrictive, lighter and warmer given my current mobility challenges, but because you came from an outdoor store and gave me a taste of where my legs can't take me right now and reminded me of all the outdoor activities that used to make me so genuinely happy.

Dear burnt_toast,

Thank you!

sunlil

-----------------------------

Dear Mother-in-Law,

I love you, I really do but I need for you to back off about finding a job.

I AM trying. I have put in applications but NO ONE is calling me.

Yes, I admit, there were 2 weeks where I didn't put in a single job application.

I didn't because I was either in bed or in the bathroom (mostly the bathroom) with the worst stomach "bug" I have ever had.

I was LICKING Saltines, bananas and ice cubes because eating and drinking led to much unpleasantness yet I should have jumped right up to run out and apply for the job you told me about as soon as you told me about it?

The vomiting and diarrhea would surely have impressed a prospective employer!

Now that I have recovered, I am back to looking for work.

I AM TRYING.

sunlil

Dear Self,

Quit being a whiny-assed dipshit. Your attitude is starting to piss even me off, and I'm you.

Kisses and pink ice cream,

Me... I mean You... I mean US

Dear Ativan,

Wowweee.....thank you for kicking my ass yesterday.

I took one of you an hour before my MRI as directed. Then , again as directed, I got the other one of you out of the bottle right before I was called into the room. I wisely chewed you in half.

I think I felt a little drool drop into my lap.

Someone led me into the MRI room and asked me a question. I think I answered "Santas pants are on fire".......

I had brought my own eye mask which I put on upside down. Thank goodness that alien dude felt sorry for me and put a towel over my eyes.

Someone told me not to move and I think I answered "Did we buy a new house?"

For the next 45 minutes every time they slid me into and out of the tube I think I yelled "wheeeeeee!"

I don't remember leaving the room but I think my yoga pants were on backwards.

Mr. kd drove though McDonalds to pick up lunch. I don't remember eating it.

I went to bed when I got home.....around 1 pm. Mr. kd woke me up to tell me that he was leaving for a 4 pm appointment and I yelled at him for waking me up so early in the morning to tell me that. It was 3:30 the same afternoon, not the next day.

So, Ativan, thanks for the vacation from reality and for making sure there is a note in my file at the MRI place that says "slightly left of center"

Love,

kd

Dear Boss and friend,

I cannot even believe this is your last day. I cannot imagine working a project without you at the helm. It is so nice to work for a capable, intelligent and caring person that not only knows how to do her job, but makes sure to give the kuddos to her worker bees.

Enjoy your retirement. You will be greatly missed.

Worker Bee

Dear Santa,

Please see that inconnu gets that winning lottery ticket in her stocking.

She's got good plans to help me and some others out.

Thanks,

TrustedHer

Dear Santa,

I really need that winning lotto ticket, and not just to help TH and some other SI friends.

thanks!

inconnu

Dear women in general,

I hear you when you are surprised by the attention of men, and say things like "but my hair was in a ponytail".

You just have to trust me on this. Ponytails are sexy. I had trouble writing in my journal in the bar and grill tonight, because of the distraction of the 4 ponytails in the room, especially on the animated blonde at the next table talking with her bff.

Just letting you know,

TrustedHer

P.S. Part of the appeal is the tension of wanting to know how the hair will look down. The ponytail is a signal that it is longer hair, which is a Good Thing.

TH

Dear kdny

Thanks for the laugh. My friend Ativan carried me through my wisdom teeth removal. Sometimes we do need to be carried for a while.

Hope the MRI will be useful and helpful.

*

Dear TrustedHer

That was instructive!

*

Dear Lord,

Please heal me.

Allow me to walk safely and painlessly on my healed feet in this beautiful world of yours again.

I will try again today.

BT

Dear SI,

I really should have never left you....My life has been one storm after another, and you guys always helped me no matter if it was personal, friends, family, or marriage stuff...

I miss you!!!

Dear kdny: Atigirl!!

Dear TH,

We will never feel bad about putting our hairz in a ponytail AGAIN!!! Who knew!???

Punky and probably other womenz on SI

Dear OL,

Tried to bury yourself again huh? I dug for you.

Love kd

Dear Chase,

When I swung my feet out of the bed this morning I automatically swung them over where you would usually be so I didn't step on you.

When I stepped out of the shower I stepped over you.....but you weren't there.

I automatically stayed to the right going down the stairs, expecting to hear you thundering to make it down before I did.

I looked down expecting to see you when I opened the refridgerator to get my coffee cream out.

As I left the house this morning, I automatically said the words I've said for the last 7 or so years "bye Chase, be a good boy, take care of the house for mama" Today, there was no good boy to hear them.

Its too quiet. Too empty. Too sad.

I miss you and I will forever.

Love,

Mama

PS. Since this is supposed to be humorous I'll add that I even miss your stinky gas.

Dear Chase...

It's so good to finally meet you!! My mama said I would like you and I DO!

We're going to be best friends

Love,

Robinson

Dear Robinson,

You can be the boss, I'll just follow along behind with my nose in your butt.

Thanks for being my buddy.

My mama sure does appreciate and love your mama.

Love,

Chase

Dear Chase...

My mama always told me I looked stupid wearing my baseball cap sideways on my head...I kinda like the look, what does she know anyway!

My mama loves your mama too!

You have to follow behind me because you fart too much

Love,

Robinson

Dear Robinson,

What? Somebody lied! They told me there were no farts in heaven!

Geesh.

Oh well, I kind of enjoy it anyway.

Love,

Chase

Dear O.L.

Page 7. Really?

Hmmph..

I blame food network and Guy Fieri. It's addictive, I tell ya.

Addictive.

Oh, damn... Gotta go. They're making some sugar laden concoction that I must drool over.