SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

A lot of the time these women are just totally desperate for a man.

This was absolutely the case in my situation.

My God, she was actually pitiful the way she'd keep reaching out, desperately trying to contact him each time we'd block yet another avenue she'd used. First we blocked her from being able to text or call him on his cell phone after she kept texting him. Then, we blocked her from his email account after she resorted to email when she couldn't call or text anymore. We then blocked her from Facebook when she started contacting him through THAT source. She then began calling him at work and started skulking in the shadows in places she knew he'd be.

If it weren't so pitifully and feebly pathetic, I'd laugh at her sorrowful fat ass.

Oh, what the hell. I'll laugh anyway.

This thread is exactly what I needed to read today. I spent the first two weeks trying to figure out what she had that I didn't. The only things I came up with were more free time and a willingness to engage in degrading sex acts. This gives me more perspective.

When she would not stop rubbing my face in the sordid details of thier LTA, I labled her as a malicious bitch. Now I think maybe she is just pathetic and broken, and those letters were her attempt to make herself seem more important than she was. WH dropped her within 24 hrs of being caught, and has not looked back. She thought she was special, and it turns out that she could have been anybody with the right body parts and no self respect.

Bump!!

More often than not, it’s you he’s fighting for; it's you he's sorry for; it’s you he’s trying to be a better man for. Regain your strength. Retake your rightful place.

Betrayal hurts, I know. Boy, do I know. But remember, when they find someone weak enough to have an affair with, they always affair down.

9 months out - going back and forth RE: divorce but THIS is what I needed today.

Bump

Such a good thread

Thanks for this reminder.

Inspired by these words, read it to my husband who had a EA. He even agreed. Thank you

Bumping the thread for new users.

So true! Thank you for this.

BUMP - cause sometimes us BS's need to remember this

What a self esteem boost!!! These words literally made me shout out loud as I was reading them "Thats right! You know it! Preach it!" I'm so glad I read this today, I needed it, today, tomorrow and always!!!!

My step-son left his beautiful wife for the OW. The OW was also married with children and she left her husband. Between them they tore apart 2 marriages and devastated not only their innocent spouses but four children. My daughter in law is a wonderful, beautiful woman (tall, blonde, great figure). She is warm, giving, loving and a joy to be around. I finally met the OW (now the new wife) recently and all I could think is "You left your wife for THIS?" She is not even very pretty but she does have a good job so maybe money played a factor. They really do affair down. Needless to say, the OW will never be my daughter in law. That position is already filled.

I needed this tonight- glad it popped up. The OW in my case was a hot mess. I never really have understood what SHE got from the relationship. That truly astounds me. WH didn't take her on dates or buy her gifts. She couldn't introduce him to friends or even discuss him on Facebook. He is much older than her and is a bit of a mess too so not even sure why she chose him??? She doesn't even have custody of her child. I don't get it. But yes, shesy be younger, but not better- he did affair down. So weird.

Wow! Thanks for this. So true.

My situation has a "twist" - he never told her he was married. He lied to her and told her he was divorced with 2 kids. I keep thinking - how could she NOT suspect - he only saw her once or twice a month, never let her meet the kids, never took her out of her little town ~ 25 miles south of home. Was she THAT stupid? Yes, yes she was. She was a hot mess...divorced, 2 kids who weren't living with her, then they were, then one wasn't...only a high school education, etc. I likened it to a "train wreck" for my husband - he said he tried to leave, but the drama kept sucking him back in...he couldn't look away. Plus, she was a slut who would do anything with him...

I asked him after I found out "what does she have that I don't..what could she give you, that I haven't?". His answer was nothing. He said I was prettier, smarter, sexier, etc. He doesn't understand why he "picked" her either.

Thanks for making me feel better about myself. I have a lot of self esteem issues because of this, but I'm trying to work them out, and this helps!

*bump*

I needed this today. I have been feeling like such a failure. The woulda/shoulda/couldas are killing me....I lost my H to a doper. He is still with her.

I'll never understand the drug-addiction like high they get from get from the danger, the secrecy, the self-destruction (and, contributing to someone else's self-destruction), 'risking it all'.. is the adrenaline rush really that powerful and all-encompassing..? Why..??? You only have a limited number of choices to make in one lifetime, why not make the best ones you can..? Why destroy your own life and and your loved ones' lives too? Whatever happened to 'preservation is the first law of nature'...?? Why throw away a perfectly good life- losing everything you've worked for- to jump into a black hole with with another self-destruction person..?? What is the appeal of that...? Because it just feels 'so wrong, it's irresistible'..??

Sorry but that does not compute with the rational, evolved mind. Life is too damn short for that shit.

I totally agree with this post!!! However, my self esteem took a further dive when he was willing to walk away from me on DDay, only to try to come home 2 months later. And then again, when I didn't take him back fast enough, he moved on, still telling me that he is waiting for me and wants to be with me. Still denying there is someone else. I'm sure she is just as broken as my Asshat of an H and his last whoreface. But I won't be here, waiting for him to come back. Because, as painful as it is, I am finding strength and love of myself that he can not provide for me. Because, like all of you, I am not broken or pathetic and looking for someone else to fix me. I can do my own work!

DBB -

Thanks for this. I am 1 month out. When I saw a photo of her, I couldn't understand WHY her? She is no where near as pretty or accomplished as I am. She does have a special needs son, which drew some empathy from my WH, but her BF and her have cheated on each other multiple times. My WH just had a weak moment in his life (hopefully had learned his lesson now) but he never even dreamed of taking things further with her and was actually getting close to cutting it off before he got caught (so he says anyway). This makes me feel really good to read so THANK YOU!

Bump :)