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Newest Member: Samalama

Just Found Out :
Honey, they always affair down

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happy

Toffie ( member #44463) posted at 11:55 AM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

Thank you, was a good read

BW 37
WH 39
Married 12yrs
3 children under 10

DD 18/01/14

posts: 50   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Australia
id 6906615
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notyours ( new member #44142) posted at 4:22 PM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

BUMP BUMP BUMP, DBB.

This should be the first, the absolute very first thing read by any woman that finds herself here and joining SI. So glad to have read this today.

Thank you SI's DBB

Me: BS 33
Him: WH, 40 porn, sexting, pic sharing,& phone sex with women,+ maybe more..
2 kids, M 11 yrs, 2Gether 15yrs
Agreed to R, but doubtful and unsure if I should just move on alone.

posts: 18   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6906853
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sunny58 ( member #43645) posted at 4:36 PM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

Thank you for re-posting this today. I really, really needed to read this today. Bless you!

Divorce Final - 9/25/2014

"The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. It comes from friends and loved ones."

posts: 100   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 6906865
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mom2my4kiddos ( member #44174) posted at 6:14 PM on Friday, August 15th, 2014

Wow! Thanks so much for this post....first happy trades I've had in little bit.

Me: BS 45
Him:WS 43
Dday 7/16/14
Happy to say we are moving forward together!

posts: 57   ·   registered: Jul. 20th, 2014   ·   location: USA
id 6911099
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BtraydWife ( member #42581) posted at 11:21 PM on Friday, August 15th, 2014

Bump to the top.

Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010

posts: 5437   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 6911550
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SoLostStillNumb ( member #44248) posted at 11:41 PM on Friday, August 15th, 2014

Thank you for this, but sometimes they don't affair down. How about if WH lied to the both of us. How about if she didn't know he was married or in a relationship? That means she isn't the last in the pack, she didn't lower herself and didn't take him for the lowlife he was. It definitely puts a whole other spin on this...

Me: BS 30 Him: XH 30
Married: 5 years, together 7. No kids.
DDay: 6/3/14
Divorced: 04/2015!

"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

posts: 228   ·   registered: Jul. 26th, 2014   ·   location: VA
id 6911588
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clueless1 ( new member #43460) posted at 12:57 AM on Saturday, August 16th, 2014

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can't say it enough. I'm 5 days short of 4 mos. of my DDay and there are still periods when I feel so inferior. I really needed this today

[This message edited by clueless1 at 6:58 PM, August 15th (Friday)]

sometimes love doesn't conquer all

posts: 37   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2014   ·   location: NJ
id 6911675
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hihn ( member #43986) posted at 3:12 AM on Saturday, August 16th, 2014

Thank you for your post dbb it really helped to read it. I couldn't have read it at a better time. I had just discovered an old text last Wednesday on my WH's cell from his niece in which she said she would like to friend the OW on facebook. She also texted him saying how cute she was & how lucky he was to find her. He had texted his niece back saying the OW was an amazing women. Mind you at the time his niece wrote her text my WH had been sleeping with OW since 9/9/13, moved in with her 3/8/14 & left her 4/8/14. His niece was made aware of the other women around 3/11/14. She texted my WH the above text on 3/17/14. His niece has known me for 26 years. I have never spoken harshly to her except once about five years ago when she was disrespecting her grandmother who raised her. Needless to say I feel greatly betrayed by her & hurt. It hurt all over again to read how amazing my WH said OW was. This 5 foot 0 inches woman not only was a good fifty pounds over weight but has a honken nose on her, large tattoos, nipple rings, and caked on makeup. She pretty much looked like a motorcycle mama & not the kind you see posing next to a motorcycle in a magazine. More like the kind that looks like she was rode hard & put away wet. Which, since the truth started trickling out about WH's affairs, I didn't understand my WH's attraction to me, because this OW pretty much fit the standard profile of all his affair partners, overweight & brunette. I am 5'11", blonde & slender, never been overweight my whole life. As far as looks are concerned I have turned the heads of many men since I was 15yrs old. Even at 58 years old I still do (though not as much thank god) & FYI it still annoys me & still makes me feel self consciousness to be stared at by a man. I have never cared for that kind of attention. So my WH's niece's text to him triggered a feeling of being inadequate again. How could the other woman be cute & amazing and me be chopped liver in their eyes.

Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners,but is more likley 80+

posts: 393   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2014   ·   location: colorado, U.S.
id 6911814
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amanda123 ( member #43207) posted at 3:24 AM on Saturday, August 16th, 2014

Made me feel so much better!!

However,I feel for those BS the ones that have been left by their WS.

posts: 1033   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2014
id 6911823
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Swims ( member #30992) posted at 6:53 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014

*bump*

posts: 180   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2011   ·   location: East Coast
id 6914363
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 8:25 AM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014

Bump

posts: 6663   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6919484
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 12:13 AM on Monday, August 25th, 2014

Bump

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8529   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 6922339
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SheWiz ( member #44633) posted at 1:09 AM on Monday, August 25th, 2014

The OW in my life happened to be my sort of best friend for 5 yrs. Her and her H and mine travelled everywhere in m/h's together. She was a fall down drunk, knew her 70's rock'n'roll, and nothing much else. Horseface to boot. He's an intellectual and knows a lot about markets, which bored her to death when we were having cocktails. Guess she swung her fat ass at him one time too many to resist. Broke up two marriage - mine was 35 - her's was 9 yrs. According to her ex, she'd had 3 affairs in that time and my H was her 4th. Yeah, real nice picking there, asshole.

posts: 346   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2014   ·   location: PNW Coastal
id 6922374
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BtraydWife ( member #42581) posted at 3:13 AM on Saturday, August 30th, 2014

Bump

Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010

posts: 5437   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 6928925
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thestepfordex ( new member #44345) posted at 4:48 AM on Saturday, August 30th, 2014

This made me feel so much better.

My WP went way down. This girl is the scum of the Earth. Her career of choice is stripper or cam girl but she is so ugly (buttaface) her employers never let her strip on weekends or at night and she didn't make any income as a cam girl. She's 30 years old, lives with her parents, doesn't work because she's gotten too many DUIs, has been arrested for prostitution, and is a coke addict and alcoholic. She's the girl he lost his virginity to and the first girl to break his heart when she slept with his best friend. Why did he keep going back to that whore? Because she was easy, that's why.

She got nothing from him. He never took her out, he never bought her gifts, he never slept in bed with her or cuddled, he showed her no emotion and yet she was desperate for him. She was literally just a vagina for him to stick his pecker in.

Me? I have a beautiful face but my body has been damaged from having 3 kids. I get hit on all the time so I must be attractive? I try to be the best person I can be. I have stretch marks and my breasts aren't as full as they used to be. I don't have an athletic stripper body so sometimes I feel like I am inferior to her. But I am not. She is a wreck, the bottom of the barrel, she has every opportunity to make something of her life and all she does is make shitty life choices. I'm raising 4 beautiful children whom I love so much, I have great friends, I am college educated but I have the choice to stay home with my kids, I've never done drugs and I am not an alcoholic, I've never been arrested, and most of all I have the self respect not to sleep with the whole g-damn town. I am ahead of her on so many levels. Go team me!

Betrayed Wife: Me (31)
Wayward Husband: Him (32)
Kids: Mine- 11,8 His- 9 Ours- 2
Together: 2/4/2012
DDAY #1: 5/27/14 Long Term PA
TT: 5/27-7/29/14
DDAY #2: 7/30/14 Finally admits it.
Working on Reconciliation. We'll see..

posts: 34   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: New England
id 6929015
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lostsuol ( member #13706) posted at 5:00 AM on Saturday, August 30th, 2014

{{{thestepfordex}}}

Still a struggle...

posts: 815   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Canada
id 6929021
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luluphoenix ( member #44168) posted at 9:04 PM on Sunday, August 31st, 2014

I read this post aloud to my WH and he said, "Exactly." He went on to reiterate that she was nobody special and could have been anybody (took him awhile to get out of the fog so it was good to hear him say that). She was "easy". His words. Strong, healthy women don't sleep with married men (especially not the 4th time they've met him and barely knew him!).

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.
-I am going to be one damn sparkly oak when this is done.

posts: 466   ·   registered: Jul. 19th, 2014
id 6930296
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 9:32 PM on Monday, September 8th, 2014

posts: 6663   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6939063
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meplusfour ( member #38958) posted at 6:29 PM on Friday, October 3rd, 2014

Bump

BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

posts: 438   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6966941
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steppingup ( member #42650) posted at 6:30 PM on Friday, October 3rd, 2014

What’s is attractive about the OW is that they are the sickest, the weakest, the most injured of the pack. The insecure WH, wanting to feel strong and powerful, scans the herd for the easiest to kill.

100% true! My WW was weak and would let other men seduce her so they could sex play with her the way their wives wouldnt.

This is a true statement.

posts: 1923   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: New York
id 6966945
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