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[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:47 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

I wonder if he actually meant "a universe of two-year-olds." Because people are supposed to grow out of this kind of thinking around the time they learn to use the toilet.

A universe of two?, come on, even I know there are other people in the trailer park.

@ aliveagain

I saw the OM today. And what timing. I have given up any emotions for my STBX, realizing that anything I think I feel for her are just things that I felt for whoever she was when we were “happily” married. I was buying cat food for the STBXC (meow) and as I was walking to the counter, who do I encounter but OM slumping while waiting for the checkout. As I approached I caught his glance and never wavered. He glanced up absentmindedly and looked down then did a quick double take and met my stare. He simply smirked and turned away. As I stood in line behind him silently waiting for some kind of smarmy comment I took inventory of the shell of a man that is part and parcel to the disintegration of my family. Slightly taller than me, but could be much taller if he didn’t slouch; baggy jeans and no ass; old jacket with some poorly sewn on patches from other past conquest; backwards ball-cap with the tacky logo of his “business”; earring for a 48 year old; disheveled and grey with double chin. Pathetic. This is what all of this shit is about? I don’t think so.

I would have been tempted to give him the number of day count until she was his problem. I am sure he shared the information with WW, was she waiting in his car or actually at home? Baggy jeans and no ass, double chin, sounds like a match made in heaven.

Hang in there TCMM!!!!!!!

You are doing such an awesome job, and I see real healing starting, you are on track to being a MUCH MUCH happier man. She has made her bed, and she can do whatever she wants in it.

You now understand that its over, you can no longer have any influence over her. She will forever be someone elses problem. Just keep reminding those kids that YOU love them, and YOU will always be there for ALL of them.

You have amazed a lot of us!

Stay Strong! ! ! We ALL admire you!

TCMM - hang in there.

It sounds like you are having some periods of emotional detachment (you know, the being "done" with it, her and him). I have those periods myself. It feels awesome and it is a good sign.

My IC tells me that as time passes I will continue to have those periods and they will grow more frequent and last longer.

So if you find yourself taking what feels like a step backward in your healing, know that you'll get back to a better place soon.

Are we down to 3.5 months yet?

[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:47 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

TCMM,

You are handling all of this so well. Keep up the good work.

It good that you are detaching from your WW, the more you can do this, the more clearly you will be able to plan and act.

You handled your FIL perfectly. Let your WW deal with the consequences of her actions to her family.

OM is 48? Shit, I've seen his pix, I would have guess at least ten years older than that......what a prize.

3 months and counting ... you can do this TCMM !

(((TCMM))))

You've been pretty quiet TCMM ... is everything ok? Or just not anything you can post about?

[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:48 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

tick, tock, tick, tock

TCMM - at the end of the waiting period - then what? Obviously, your WW isn't going to life a finger to get these issues resolved. Will you have to allow the court to decide these matters with input from the GAL (who it seems has been very helpful to you)?

vapid self absorbed succubus she is

Holy crpabags. This had coffee streaming out of my nose!

Just a guess here, but I bet that deep in her heart and mind she really expects that any day you will come running to her sobbing and begging her to return on any terms she dictates. That outlook would be very consistent with the personality traits and exploits you have described.

So when you refrain from engaging and send very businesslike email that accepts the marriage as done and unemotionally addresses legal issues -- she freaks. It hits her that you WON'T come running back; that it IS over; that she has screwed herself but good. And she doesn't respond because she doesn't know what to do. Because you are in control; not her.

Maybe I am wrong, but I have seen this type of behaviour before and it all fits into the same pattern.

She's just digging her own grave...deeper and deeper! I think she'll be shocked when the courts look at her selfish behavior and she won't have anything to back up her words.

[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:48 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

Doesn't she dump on you EVERY weekend with Monday night included?

That bitch is not thinking of herself alone. She's thinking of how even after the D she will let you have them every weekend, keeping you from having any real time for yourself or even, (impossible for you to believe right now, but COULD happen), a new woman.

Personally I hope you get FULL custody and get to dictate terms to that foggy idiot and her fat ass trailer dweller.

(((((TCMM)))))