SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm on OurTime. Got a "match" for a gentleman and I kid you not....his profile picture showed him holding up a pin-up calendar of naked women.

WTF..............

k9

so we are going to see another movie at the drive-in called Flesh Gordon.

I learn so much here....who knew they had porn drive-ins?

No male or female jail skanks have hit on me or any of my colleaguues today, hence no funny 'Forged Goes to County' stories.

Sorry.

How depressing Forged....................

k9

Holy Crap!!! Apparently I have led a very sheltered life!!!

Don't think I will try the OLD thing. OMG!

Very funny reading though.

K9,

I'll tell 'em on Monday that they're letting the side down.

SI expects, ladies and gentlemen. Here we are now - entertain us.

F.

I am going to paraphrase because I deleted and blocked this guy as soon as I read the message. Some details are forever etched in my memory.

His name was Harlyman. That was the spelling.

I like to ride my Harly. I live near a lake. I like to bbq and swim in the lake. I live near a casino. I love it and you.

I love it and you! Baby you had me there with that line!

I recently posted this story in a thread entitled "I attract freaks":

A couple weeks ago, I asked out a very cute neighbour for coffee that night. She said she couldn't do that, but could do the next night instead. I said great, and we made a plan. Then she texted me and asked if I wanted to meet her at a bar not far from here, on the night that she had said she was busy. I didn't like the fact that I was running out at her call, but thought it best to not assume that all women are like The Princess. So I went anyhow.

We sat and had a couple beers. I don't want to be unkind, but she was really not very smart. It was like talking to one of the girls I knew in high school. I would ask a question, she would speak a few sentences, and then end with, "But whatever ... right ... it is what it is." That was her answer for EVERYTHING.

As we were getting ready to leave, she asked if I still wanted to go out the next night, as we had planned. I said, "I'm still up for it if you are" (god knows why), and she agreed.

I sent the "text of reassurance" the next morning saying I'd had a good time. As lunch approached, I received a text from her asking if I could meet for lunch.

I didn't know if this was her being needy, or trying to establish that I should be at her beck and call, but I decided to set a boundary: "Sorry, I can't make it for lunch."

Her response: "Whatever. Then I don't want to meet tonight."

I responded with my favourite one-word breakup for whenever crazy rears it's ugly head: "Cool."

[This message edited by Pass at 3:24 PM, August 16th, 2014 (Saturday)]

Pass,

There is such a thing as the "text of reassurance" ???

I think I have a lot to learn!

I do like your standard response, "cool", I am going to remember that one.

The Text of Reassurance: Absolutely! You have to send a text the next day - before noon - reassuring that you had a good time, and are looking forward to the next time. This is what I've learned.

Since adopting the Text of Reassurance policy, I've received WAY fewer miffed lunchtime texts. Get your head in the game, Can!

And yes, when in doubt, "Cool" is the best response to almost everything.

Lol!!! I got the "text of reassurance", yes before noon.

I will have to use you as my guide to dating etiquette! Lol... this is just...surreal???

The Text of Reassurance: Absolutely! You have to send a text the next day - before noon - reassuring that you had a good time, and are looking forward to the next time. This is what I've learned.

@Pass, Only IF you had a good time and are looking forward to next time. Don't be leading the ladies on just to be polite. Bloody Canadians.

Ha! And I suppose the Ozzie way is to somehow send a virtual kick to the ovaries if I had a lousy time?

Somewhere between almost a proposal and a kick in the ovaries is the sweet spot you're looking for.

Aussies don't do this dating etiquette thing I don't think. We keep it simple. Contact if we're interested. Don't contact if we're not.

You are absolutely right about before noon though. I try to beat them to it when I'm not interested. It's easier for everyone if the friend zone discussion is had BEFORE someone sends an "I'd love to see you again" missive.

"Thanks for a fun night. I think we can agree there were no romantic sparks between us but [insert genuine compliment]."

^this move is a bit harder to execute if you've already slept with them. So try not to do that.

Excerpt from a letter I've just received from an incarcerated client:

I think about you often when I close my eyes. I can still see you in that blue shirt. Like Campbells Soup. Mmmmmm........good.

ETA -

[This message edited by Forged1 at 1:37 PM, August 19th (Tuesday)]

Thanks Forged!!!!!!

k9

The rest of the letter is basically a 'please please please can you call my boyfriend and my baby daddy and my mom and my other boyfriend to see if they'll but up the bail money for me'.

She only wants me for my ability to make phonecalls. Man, I thought we could have had something together.

I feel all hurt and shit.

Cool

Recently I read this article about a guy who works with prisoners from a rehabilitation perspective. As part of that, he'd set up this online website so the prisoners could host profiles for pen pals. The idea was his company posted the profiles, and notified the prisoners if someone wanted to be a pen pal, and then the communication would occur via snail mail it's not that he had obtained internet access for these folks.

So for grins, I went and looked. OMG. If you hadn't told me it was prisoners posting these profiles (and the crime they were convicted of was listed, along with their time served/release date) you would think you were on match.com. The profiles read EXACTLY the same way. And the pics were pretty much the same too. There were a few that actually mentioned why they were incarcerated and their shame about it, but most didn't. They were mark shopping. Ugh. It made me think twice about OLD!

cayc, I'm pretty sure that I know the site you're talking about, or at least that sounds very like it.

We had a client a few years back (a really lonely guy) who began corresponding with a female inmate from that site. They wrote back and forth to each other for about three years. He used to send her money for her commissary, small gifts and so on. Once she was released, she pretty much showed up on his doorstep and moved in. It didn't end well for him.

He ended up with multiple felony convictions for check fraud and obtaining by false pretenses and that was after she'd got him to withdraw every cent he had from his savings and a retirement fund. There was also some jail time - a year or eighteen months. It was a while ago.

Anyway. she was also prosecuted, and the new charges plus whatever suspended time she already had saw her going away for the best part of seven or eight years.

Somehow, I don't think they renewed their correspondence.