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toby ( member #10337) posted at 7:43 PM on Saturday, September 1st, 2012
Can't believe I missed this!!! Great post stronger!!
h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 3:50 AM on Wednesday, September 5th, 2012
Thanks for posting this. I need to read this kind of stuff right now.
kchip ( member #36365) posted at 5:13 AM on Wednesday, September 5th, 2012
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijZRCIrTgQc
Me: BH (42)
2 boys, age 10/7
D Day: July 15, 2012
Status: DIVORCING
You know that movie, Sleeping With the Enemy? Well I am Julia Roberts in that one......sighhhh
"When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change"
Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 3:32 PM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2013
bump
ETA: because unfortunately the ranks of brothers in infidelity are growing
[This message edited by Brandon808 at 9:47 AM, January 16th, 2013 (Wednesday)]
1985 ( member #28171) posted at 3:45 PM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2013
I believe that one of the best feelings in the world is when you help someone that is in need. Stronger, you obviously have done that. Congrats
Me-BH now 70
Her-fWW now 69 Still beautiful to me
DDay: June 1985. 5 years after A ended
Still married - actually in love
2 grown kids; 5 grandkids
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 3:54 PM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2013
I remember at 5 months in, first seeing this post. it was 1 of the first things that helped me find my voice. not here on SI, but IRL. I was still in shock and denial, I was blaming myself for the affair. it helped me grow a spine and realize that I truly was not it fault. Something was definitely broken in her. thank you thank you thank you.
it still took me another 4 months to register however. worst move I could have made. if you are out there lurking brother, please join the club. there is a great group of guys here who have been there and done that. find your voice.
find your strength.
again guys thank you for everything. and especially thank you SI for providing me hope and strength.
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
CrappyLife ( member #37630) posted at 4:11 PM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2013
stronger08 - Absolutely awesome and brilliant post. I feel like mugging every word of your post. Thanks. 
BBF-turned-BH: 28 (Me)
WGF-turned-WW: 28 (EmotionalFool)
POS1: a 'friend'? WW believed it was my 'best friend'!
POS2: her senior at work!
Together - 6 years
Married - 1.5 years
D-Day- 15/10/12
Don't know where we are headed..
h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 4:27 PM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2013
This helped plant the seed of strength in me as well. While I still think that maybe I should have patched the roof after the first rain storm where it leaked instead of procrastinating, I no longer think that was a valid reason for her to have an affair and leave me for someone else.
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 4:52 PM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2013
Thanks, Stronger. Totally what I needed to hear.
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
WearingTheHorns ( member #37916) posted at 6:30 PM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2013
Thank you stronger for posting this and thank you to whomever bumped it. This Friday will be D-day + 2 months for me and after a couple of really bad days between me and WW I really needed to read this!
Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months
Hoped I'd never have to add this: Dday #2 11/22/2015 Not sure how far it went yet but have a pretty good idea.
2 Cor. 12:9-10
Newstart43 ( new member #36562) posted at 6:57 PM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2013
Brilliant! Thanks for posting!
"Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow". "
-Maryanne Radanbacher
Tred ( member #34086) posted at 11:16 PM on Monday, January 28th, 2013
Bumping because it's awesome advice. Should be a sticky (hint).
Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 11:51 PM on Monday, January 28th, 2013
(girl sneaking in)
Somehow I missed this the first go around but THANK YOU stronger.
Although I am not of the guys club (obviously) your words still got to me.
(((BH/BBF))
Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23
PanicAttack53 ( member #34195) posted at 12:16 AM on Tuesday, January 29th, 2013
How the hell did I miss this back in August? Oh well, a BIG belated thanks to Stonger... and to whomever bumped this so I did find it.
Although my path is now set, I sometimes still fall into that deep pit of wondering what I could have done differently to change what happened. I needed this today to remind me that it was/is and always will be out of my control.
Brother Newbies, please take heed. Let this excellent post burn into your mind and more importantly, quell ANY doubts you may have regarding fault on your part.
Me-BH Her-XWW | B/ 59 on D-day (11/17/11) | D final on 10/1/13 I'm Lovin' life again!
Rest of the story really doesn't matter any more.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ― Eckhart Tolle
pointmagnet ( member #16565) posted at 2:43 AM on Tuesday, January 29th, 2013
Wow I had not seen this before but this is a powerful message. We need to be like this, be strong, and not let our WSs run our lives!
Thank you for posting this, stronger08, and thank you to everyone else for keeping the thread alive so that we may all learn from it!
Me (BS): 55
Her (WW): 53
Married: Not any more
Children: Three of them
D-Day: 10/07/07; 12/15/12
Status: Trying to move on
exhausted lady ( member #30217) posted at 5:20 AM on Tuesday, January 29th, 2013
(another woman sneaking in) Thank you Stronger....this is a post that needs to get bumped - a lot.
I have noticed that we are getting a lot of new male members. I am sooo glad they've found us, and I'm glad they have men like you to help steer them through the swamp. My heart breaks for every new member I see here in JFO, but I am so glad this place exists.
Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr
FindingOut ( member #32388) posted at 8:20 AM on Tuesday, January 29th, 2013
I also missed this post first time round. I want to say thank you for those words, they are wonderful, encouraging, supportive .. everything SI gives in spades to all us us going through this nightmare.
Thank you Stronger, thank you so much, these words have helped me a lot today.
Divorced - 54 - grown up children
UK
Mikey56 ( member #38063) posted at 8:46 AM on Tuesday, January 29th, 2013
Great post Brother. Just what I needed to hear.
I have started my own Healing Library of posts that speak to me. I just added this one.
Thanks!
kchip ( member #36365) posted at 12:15 PM on Tuesday, January 29th, 2013
Thanks again and bump.
Healing six months after dday. Leaner stronger and my future seems bright again.
Hang in there brothers it really does get better with time.
Me: BH (42)
2 boys, age 10/7
D Day: July 15, 2012
Status: DIVORCING
You know that movie, Sleeping With the Enemy? Well I am Julia Roberts in that one......sighhhh
"When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change"
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