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painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 7:37 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
For SMY:
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
looking forward ( member #25238) posted at 8:33 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
I would have never dreamed that sex in our 50's could get hotter than in our 20's. It's fucking amazing, literally.
Actually......Wait until your 60's! 
(At least when I haven't been sore from accidental falls!)
Together more than 57 years, Married 52 years. Sober since 2009. "You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." (The Wizard of Oz)
painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 8:58 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
Actually......Wait until your 60's!
Yay! Glad to hear that LF! Ummmm, I'm starting to understand your fall out of the bed a little better now.... 
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
looking forward ( member #25238) posted at 10:43 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
I can laugh today....
But it really was the cat's fault...
..And he's always in bed with us.....what tales that boy could tell!
Together more than 57 years, Married 52 years. Sober since 2009. "You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." (The Wizard of Oz)
twodoves ( member #39181) posted at 11:31 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
Nonexistant.
It's not that urge isn't there, it's just that the urge to sob is stronger.
I'm sure pregnancy hormones are NOT helping that.
The worst part is i'm horny often, but i feel like there's a mental wall there preventing me from having sex with WH.
Me - BS
Him - WS (N3v3rG1v1ngUp)
Together 7 years, married for 2
He was cheating for 5 years
5 OW
D-days: 4/23/13, 4/27/13, 5/10/13
1 toddler, baby girl on the way in December
startingover1090 ( new member #38485) posted at 11:34 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
Mine is non existent as well...
WH- 24
Me- 22
Son- almost 18 months
-Finding my way-
CatchyUsername ( member #39415) posted at 1:22 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
I am 6 weeks post DDay and it is 50% a 10+ and 50% awful because in the middle of it I sometimes get totally freaked and it is like I feel him touching HER instead of me. We actually decided today on a code word for me to use to let him know when it was happening so he could physically back off and try to just verbally comfort me...
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 1:31 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
OH SMY you made me laugh! Too funny.
((Twodoves)) My therapist suggested in the beginning that what might help is if I find a sexually graphic visual to focus on - be it a scene from a "film" or book. I tried that and it did help. Then as time went on, I felt closer to him and didn't rely on the therapists trick as much.
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:13 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
Our sex life is awesome. Right now it is totally HOT! ! !
Username - I had similar problems and told H that if he ever wanted to have good sex with me again I needed his help. He had to make me the center of attention and I focused entirely on the physical aspects of sex. It was just about me enjoying the physical no looking into each others eyes very little kissing mouth to mouth. Much more about making me reach climax. It went this way for a long time. But he learned to focus on me and the end result was sooooo worth it.
Now it's deep intimate awesome sex. It's both the physical act of fucking and the deep intimacy. We average more days than not.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Mama_of_3_Kids ( member #26651) posted at 2:35 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
5-6...a lot of it has to do with non-A related marriage problems.
Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's
Exrev ( new member #39529) posted at 4:36 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
Pre A:10+...sooo active and satisfied
After dday: 8 as often but mentally couldn't get into it
3 yrs into R: 5 just don't care much anymore. Kinda dead inside
Hearthache again ( member #28564) posted at 4:44 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
Me-BS(34)
Him-WS(37)
Married-14 years together 15
Kids 4: 17, 14, 10, and 5
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!
This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!
CatchyUsername ( member #39415) posted at 10:29 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
LA44 - in my case (risk of overshare here though I am not sure that is possible here) WHs sex with the OW was apparently all about her and not about the connection. He apparently helped her heal from her separation. 
For us it is when we are NOT connected and when I feel like he is just trying to "get me there" that I flake. Eye contact actually helps - for both of us.
We are learning every day...
bitterbetrayal ( member #26326) posted at 6:04 PM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
Great post. Ws 56 years old me 56 years old sex life 10+ Wow us oldies are doing well. Lets tell the young ones
Me. BS 52 at the time
Him.WS 52 at the time and a priest!
D-DAY 12/07/09.
Married 25 years at the time.
Two children 20 and 22 at the time.
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 6:08 PM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
I'd say an 8. And mostly that is because it continues to get better and better. We learn more about what real intimacy is about. So I know it will continue to improve so I need to leave some room at the top of the scale.
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 8:50 PM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
50s is still young in my book. Sisters, if you feel bad about turning 30 or 40 or 50, just remember you look like hot young women to at least one of your SI brothers....
No number from me - even the worst sex I've had has been better than just about every other activity I've done.
W says 8-8.5 - she's always feared letting pleasure in. Starting with menopause, she's let more and more in, but she still has a way to go.
Sex in our 60s is different but amazingly more satisfying than we ever imagined.
And that's even without doing kegels while reading SI posts....
[This message edited by sisoon at 3:47 PM, June 24th (Monday)]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 11:09 PM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
I'd say it's a 3.
Sex is enjoyable when we have it, but we rarely have it.
I am weighing the pros and cons of telling my doctor about my lack of desire/libido at my next appointment (in September). So far, the cons outweigh the pros.
Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again
Staying together for the kids
D-day 2010
still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 12:13 AM on Tuesday, June 25th, 2013
WHEN we do it's a 10++++++
Problem is H lost his drive, (or stick or shaft ) and can't find it!!
Just yesterday I figured out how many times in a year it would (or wouldn't) be happening and 
Am trying to decide if I can live with (or without in this case ) and am leaning towards NOT!!!!
Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23
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