SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

SAWH - Sexually addicted wayward husband

Thanks for this. It's helpful as I process. So much reading, so little time.

Is it bad that the crying has stopped and I don't know if it's coming back.

Dday 6 days ago.

OpenEyes40 one thing that I'd been thinking about before the Dday bomb is that life is hard. It sucks, we have to work hard at it daily. Nothing is ever easy. We wouldn't want it that way anyway. So him saying anything is my fault, I made marriage harder, less enjoyable, was an ugly fat pregnant lady that didn't turn him on...it's an excuse.

It's just like when I think I should go to the gym and tell myself, "oh I have to organize my linen closet, or have a slight cough." It's the same self-serving lie that we all tell ourselves, to avoid things because it may be more work than we feel like putting in.. even if they're good for us .. because I for one and damn freaking good!

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Bump for SoDestroyed

Bump for inanamiyorum

This thread needs to stay on top somehow. Not that it's a unique situation, but most posts here seem to involve affairs. Those of us in this particular predicament aren't interested in clicking on every single ambiguous thread title to see if it applies to us. Just a suggestion.

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Thank you so much hathnofury for putting in so much effort!

My WH's horrible behavior took place overseas. In that country, the escort service and massage parlor used to be a major entertainment for business people, government officials and someone who could afford it. In the past two years, the local law enforcement has made efforts to take out those places in big cities. But lots of them go underground.

The call-girls/escorts are 20ish. Most of them have a college degree and a regular job. They make quick money by selling sex, which is like a second job.

My WH took advantage of living alone( I visit him every 4-5 months) and hooked up with a call girl for 2 years. On Dday, I was in a rage beyond description and said to him: you don't deserve to live! Your death would be easier for me to handle!

I am almost 6 months out and still wish he could just drop dead!

I have read so many other people's stories on SI. Not much that I can relate to but the pain is the same. Betrayal is betrayal despite of its situation or circumstances. But I think using prostitutes is worse than A.

I hope Everyone here in the same situation could survive such a brutal reality.

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I just want to say thank you. I experience extreme anxiety when in large crowds of anonymous women (like church) because of his Craigslist betrayal. I don't know who they are or where they are. I get on antidepressants next week. It's madness.

Thank you for posting...I thought I was going crazy, maybe even overreacting. Wish I had seen this 4 months ago.

Bumping for the 3-4 of you who are most recently dealing with this now.

[This message edited by oldtimer97 at 1:36 AM, April 14th (Tuesday)]

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Thank you for posting this.

I have not read all of this yet, but I think strippers would fall into this category as well.

A husband getting a naked chic putting her tits on his face, grinding her basically naked vagina on his dick til it's hard, licking his neck, and everything else, maybe in a private room, is a PA. And with the high rate of prostitution in or around many strip clubs actual intercourse is a real possibility.

I caught my WH in a sleezy strip club in town. That has been investigated for prostitution although it tries to present a public image of upholding local laws. It's bullshit. He admitted to going 3 times, which means he probably went at least 10.

I will never, ever get over it.

Some people (in real life, not on here) treat me like it's no big deal. I beg to differ.

I also hope some BHs find some support here. Women also engage in anonymous sexual encounters from Craigslist, etc.

There is something so disturbing about how I will probably never really know who the skank/skanks were who were "entertaining" my WH on several occasions, admitted having his "favorite" and I know of two in particular he was with the night I caught him(I think I might know, but have never been able to find anything but some grainy strip club pictures online, seems she lives like a cockroach or a rat hidden in the sewer). This is usually the case in anonymous sexual encounters: stage names, hooker alias names...can never really know. Then, you have to wonder if someday you might run into them and not even know it.

long overdue for a bump!

Thank you. So nice to have this space, but so sad that so many need it. I wish I knew about it back 21 and 16 mos ago when I had my CH's online/app dday and the dday of countless physical hookups with these online strangers. Like getting hit by a ton of bricks and I couldn't even see which way was up.

That about 10-20% of the ppl he pursued, exchanged pics with, and hooked up with were transsexuals, he doesn't seem able to even admit to himself any attraction or why that might have been. I don't ask anymore- just hope to stay safe myself and reach a happier place and I hope he doesn't do this to himself or any future longterm relationship again.

Just hit me- I wonder if I can/should ever donate blood etc again and what of this I should explain before entering into anything physical with someone in the future. (I've been tested and will keep getting tested even though i am not physical w him anymore- I'm just so terrified still.) I am in IC.

I talk to nearly all my gfs about this so they know what he did and what I'm going through- I hope to help others get info, perspective, and help sooner than I did.

Hi Justdeserts..the literature out for "safe from AIDS" appears now to be tested 3 months after last possible exposure. I will tell you my son is a surgeon who had accidental exposure to AIDS blood in the operating theater & besides getting protective shots, he was deemed safe @ 6 months after exposure. If you want to be ultra safe before donating blood, go for that deadline or call a donation center. Good luck to you in your new beginnings and as to you ex, good riddance to bad rubbish!

This thread just happened to be next to mine on the list, and I felt compelled to read the contents. I'm overwhelmed by the pain expressed here and I can't emphasize enough how deeply sorry I am for all BS's suffering from their WS's engaging in these encounters.

There are some insights I would like to contribute, and it may shed some light on the nature of those who solicit those who are exploited. Notice I did not use the word "hookers." This is a very damaging term to anyone who has been sexually exploited. The term "prostitutes" should be altered to "prostitutED," with the "ED" emphasized. This reflects the fact that those engaging in commercial sex tend to be victims of force, fraud and coercion. The average age for girls to begin as victims of prostitution hovers around 13 to 14. Often the ages are younger. Please take the time to wrap your head around this. These are children who are manipulated and sometimes beaten into submission, and children become adults eventually. Turning 18 does not magically turn a victim into someone making a poor lifestyle choice. This is the definition of sex trafficking.

How this issue reflects on a WS is not pretty. It means more than failing a committed relationship. Because persons who are exploited through prostitution are mostly victims, this makes their exploiters and their buyers the criminals. When you consider that nearly 90 percent of prostituted persons were also victims of child sexual abuse, this means a WS is engaging in behavior that continues the victimization. Buyers of sexual services are often known to pick up women, girls or even boys who remind them of their own children or grandchildren, indicating possible abuser potential. Buyers are more likely to know exactly what they're doing. They are not helpless victims being lured by easy satisfaction. Prostitution can be thought of as paid rape, and it is an act of sexual violence and control, not sex.

I realize my input may be upsetting, but this information is backed by research. Please investigate sex trafficking further, and pay close attention to how those demanding to buy rape are responsible for causing the crime to be a leading illegal business enterprise.

Thank you ...

Bumping for new members.