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MrsRussia ( new member #43182) posted at 3:27 PM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
OMG! I want to be just like you when I grow up!
Me 38
WH 38
Together 17 years, married 13 years
4 year old Daughter
Divorcing
plainpain ( member #40139) posted at 11:14 PM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
I just found this thread. :) I want to say thank you for sharing your story. I chose to R with my WH, and I don't regret that, but I still have revenge fantasies and sometimes dream of a DDay "do-over". THIS is amazing. Congratulations. :)
Me: Believer, 40s
Him: Liar, 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R. It only hurts now when it rains.
thecosmogirl ( member #39707) posted at 11:34 PM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
I remember this post! I never laughed so hard!
Congrats to you Karmita for staying strong and living YOUR life!!
Me: BS
Him: doesn't matter anymore
D-day 14 June 2013
I'm smart, good looking and gosh darn it, people like me!
Myname ( member #23138) posted at 12:54 AM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
I don't know how I missed this post until now. I was literally yelling and cheering you on as I read this. LOL
I'm so glad to hear that you are doing so well.
You're the best!!!!
Oh and note to self.... Don't mess with Karmita.
[This message edited by Myname at 6:55 PM, July 6th (Sunday)]
DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 45
12-08-10: S
Divorced and moved on with my life.
wishicouldredo ( new member #43623) posted at 7:37 AM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
Lol I love this. I wish I could've done something like this (just another shoulda!) instead of sitting stunned and paralyzed. He still would have gas lighted until the cows came home anyway. I'll live vicariously through you - brilliant!
"I'm not where I need to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be."
"Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go." - Mooji
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 4:16 PM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
Thank you to all of the kind words from those who have taken the time to respond.
In sharing my experiences, it's about hope and courage and that as hard as life can be, we can get to a better place. It's not easy, and very hard to give ourselves what we give to someone else.
We all have the ability be our own hero.
Hugs
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 9:44 PM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
I can't believe that I never saw this, but it's an absolute SI classic in the best "SNAGGED" tradition
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
LifeIsBroken ( member #27071) posted at 3:47 AM on Sunday, August 17th, 2014
Karmita, Girl, YOU know how to throw a party ! Not sure how on earth I missed reading all this when it started last fall but am glad I read it tonight. My anger didn't come until later. It would have been more advantageous for me if it had come immediately at D-Day. You ROCK !
Hope your new house is coming along; have fun with the renovation and with making it YOURS.
D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 2:14 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
Hi everyone
I've settled in my new house. It's more of a fixer upper than I realized, but I love it. I'm saving, and it's a must that I get a new furnace before winter. I'm renting out the basement and that is helping with the mortgage payments.
I'm having my friends and family over for a BBQ on Labour Day. Should have the painting done by then.
Bigs hugs to everyone here at SI :
BtraydWife ( member #42581) posted at 3:03 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
So glad to hear things are going well for you. That house is your own and a symbol of new starts. Congrats for knowing you deserved better and for the strength to move on when he couldn't give you what you deserved.
brokenheartinga ( new member #41142) posted at 4:44 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
Just read this topic all the way through.
Karmita you are so admired by me. I wish I had
been like you back in 2009 when I had my Dday.
You just made my day. I always said that I would
be like that if I ever had a cheating husband but
I gave in and I am still in recovery since early 2010. Now I am not so sure that is what I want.
The pain just doesn't go away. just gets a little
duller with time.
If your ever in ga. We should hang out! I like
your attitude. Maybe you could teach me a few things about being a B**ch when the need arises.
LOL. Good Luck to you!
hopefulmother ( member #38790) posted at 5:01 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
You are fantastic! I wish I came across the OW. She was a fake red head who was a coworker of my fWH. I would have loved to order her a red headed slut cocktail from my H and me. Congratulations on your new house.
Me-BW 44
WH-44 zugzwang
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 children
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.
blindsided81 ( member #44206) posted at 6:14 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
New here and I just saw this.
Have to say, "Damn! Woman you are awesome!!!!"
I am so glad things are going well for you. You give the rest of us hope!
Me, BW 51
WH, 47
OW, ttw (trailer trash whore)
DD, 7/21/14
Separated, divorcing his ass as soon as I possibly can!!
Cordelia ( member #43568) posted at 8:16 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
So impressed!
Me BS now BW, 55
Him WS now SH, 50
Together 18 years
No children (sadly couldn't have them)
DD April 2014, received letter from OW
a relationship the previous Dec 2013-Jan 2014, started by dating website.
TT 8/14
5/2015, DD2, discovered
Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 5:45 PM on Tuesday, September 9th, 2014
Karmita,
You started this thread a year ago today. I remember reading your first post and being in absolute awe of your strength and resolve. And you have paid your strength forward to so many on SI. In summary...you rock!
I think I speak for many when I say thank you...and hope you are doing well. Would love an update to see how you are doing!
Hugs!
Lala
2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 5:26 PM on Friday, September 12th, 2014
Thanks Lalagirl for your lovely post.
Geez, I didn't realize it has been over over a year since i started this thread. It's weird, it feels like this past year has been the longest year of my life. So much has happened.
It feels good to be able to taste good again, to wake up in the morning and feel alive.
I still wear my bitch boots, it took me awhile to get used to walking in them..( and I haven't twisted my ankles, not even once).
Life is tough, and nothing good comes easy. I'm in debt, have a fixer upper house..... But, I've never been happier.
Cheater are soul snatchers, but I got mine back.
Hugs to all those who fight to get their soul back.
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 3:58 AM on Friday, October 3rd, 2014
Yikes...my boyfriend asked me to marry him.
I said NO
I'm not ready for marriage again and I hate that I hurt his feelings
I'm too confused, I don't know if too much damage was done to me because my ex husband cheated on me and I'm a afraid to ever really trust again or if I'm being practical?
It's taken so much out of me to feel independent again, to feel good about the here and now. I just want to live day by day, to appreciate and enjoy everyday. I can't live more than one day at a time.
I'm single again, but this time I'm just sad but not falling apart like when I left my cheating husband.
It's weird but I like being reliant on just myself. For too long I felt I couldn't be someone without someone.
smh.....
pearlharbr ( member #38072) posted at 4:16 AM on Friday, October 3rd, 2014
Karmita, love you and your bitch boots.
It has been a long and eventful year for you. Did you ever see an IC? Perhaps it's time now to sort through your feelings on commitment. At least you'll know what you feel about it and why.
If you decide that you want to remain single forever, more power to you. If you decide that you'll be ready for another long-term commitment, more power to you.
Me: BSO, 44 / Him: WSO, 44
Together since 2000
DDay: 11/08 A with COW
Reconciled, Married 12/11
fourever ( member #30631) posted at 4:21 AM on Friday, October 3rd, 2014
Karmita,
You are everyone's hero. That being said,
After what you and all of us have been through, I think we find a new part of ourself. It takes a while to get to know that new person.
Don't feel badly that you said "no". If he's any kind of great guy, he will understand your need to wait for a while. I'm guessing that he is.
Take your time, In the scheme of things, a year is a very short time. You'll know when you know. Trust you.
Best!
Fourever
In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.
Always, tell the other BS! Always!
"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 1:32 PM on Friday, October 3rd, 2014
Thanks for the good advice,
I'm not as far along as I thought I was. I'm still struggling with trust issues, I made an appointment to see my therapist again.
Infidelity, is a crap gift that keeps on giving,
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