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Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 10:51 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2016
Hello Skan
Happy Thanksgiving and big hug to you too.
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 11:09 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2016
(((Karmita))) always great to hear from someone who survived infidelity by kicking ass and taking back her power!!!
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
Shattereddd ( member #51338) posted at 11:58 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2016
One of the most inspiring threads I've read. Wow.
Me: BXH Her: WXW
DDay1 - 2005 DDay2 - 2015 --> Divorced 2017
20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 1:47 AM on Monday, November 21st, 2016
Thanks Karmitat!!!
I love you! You made my night!! I read you post tony WH and he couldn't appreciate the humor!! Bwahahaha!!
[This message edited by 20yrsagoBS at 10:44 PM, November 20th (Sunday)]
BW, 54 WH 53 When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 3:09 PM on Friday, December 23rd, 2016
Knowing this time of year is heartbreaking for those who are recently going through the mind feck of being cheated on.
I've been there and looking back I didn't know if I'd get past the massive betrayal and wondered if I lost my mind and never get over it.
It's been awhile and a long road to travel on and I not only got over it, I've go the life I dreamed of.
Nothing good comes easy, but never give up on yourself. Listen you out inner voice, listen to your right for respect.
Look to the future, don't settle for less, love yourself, because if you don't love yourself first cheaters will take your love for granted.
Loving yourself and respecting yourself, flaws and all, is ok.
I learned that deep down I thought that loving myself was selfish and shallow. There's a difference between loving yourself and respecting yourself as opposed to being self centered.
Sending out a big hug to you all, and trust yourself and believe in yourself. You'll get there one day at a time.
ChangeMaker ( member #43899) posted at 4:38 PM on Friday, December 23rd, 2016
Hey Karmita,
I love that you pop in here every once in a while (especially around the holidays), to give us all an update, and to show some of the folks still caught in the maelstrom that there is another side, that you can make it through and be happy.
I'm glad you didn't lose your potty mouth... that'd be a f*&king shame. 
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
DDay - June 2014
DD 2008 & 2011
Divorced April 1, 2015
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 4:51 PM on Friday, December 23rd, 2016
Thanks ChangeMaker
I did promise my Pastor I'd cut back back on my Potty Mouth within 2 miles of Church. So far so good, and I'm saying Feck instead of F**K **F and it's just as therapeutic
sillyoldsod ( member #43649) posted at 5:18 PM on Friday, December 23rd, 2016
First time I've seen the OP.
Wow..just W.O.W! The kind of birthday 'surprise' most of us can only dream of giving our betrayers!
I trust this thread will be bumped ever so occasionally. 
Pleased to hear you're in a much better place now Karmita.
((()))
I've never met a sociopath I didn't like.
mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 9:37 PM on Friday, December 23rd, 2016
Hi Karmita,
Glad to hear you are doing so well. Thanks for checking in. You continue to inspire us all.
I learned that deep down I thought that loving myself was selfish and shallow. There's a difference between loving yourself and respecting yourself as opposed to being self centered.
This ^^^^ is a core issue for all of us BSs, & I am still working on it myself.
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 9:58 PM on Friday, December 23rd, 2016
Karmita, thank you!!
You don't have to pop back to SI. But you do. You are passing forward how to survive infidelity and what it looks like. You are sharing what recovery looks like too. There is joy on the other side.
Merry Christmas my friend!
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 11:04 PM on Friday, December 23rd, 2016
Thank you for the kind responses.
Everyone here is unique and my heart goes out to everyone at SI.
Bless you all
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 2:03 PM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
Just checking in.
Life is good, feels like a lifetime since I first posted here.
It's true about time and healing takes time. The thing with time is that you can't rush it when your feel stuck in it.
Slowly one day at a time and the horizon gets closer and closer.
I'm really happy, I'm on the other side of time and the past is behind me.
Big hug to everyone who is aiming for the horizon, you'll get there too, it just takes time.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 3:49 PM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
Glad that you did a check in and REALLY happy that your life is goooooddd! 
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
wantingtotrust ( member #6313) posted at 4:02 PM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
You just made me laugh on a very bad day for me! I'm so proud of you! So glad you pulled it off!!
Do you have any tips for those of us thAt know but need to wait a while to confront?
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 4:45 PM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
Thanks Skan
Sending you a big hug and wishing all the best for you.
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 4:52 PM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
Dear Wantingtotrust
I'm glad I made you laugh, especially on a difficult day for you.
The only advice I can give, is to trust your gut and do what you need to do to find out the truth.
My cheater ex would never have given me the truth, the few times I questioned him he made it out like I was paranoid and crazy.
You're not crazy or paranoid, listen to your gut and be smart and fierce in loving yourself.
WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 5:56 PM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
Hey Karmita.....
How is that fixer-upper house?
All fixed up or still a work in progress???
[This message edited by WhatsRight at 12:55 PM, May 17th (Wednesday)]
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
OhYeahWow ( member #58034) posted at 6:13 PM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
I read your original post and I loved it...it is the stuff of epic movie 'getting the revenge on your cheater' scenes, up there with Bernie loading up her cheater's expensive car with all of his clothes and lighting it on fire in "Waiting to Exhale" but your way was MUCH better
I'm relatively new here on SI but it is so encouraging to hear from those who made it to the 'other side' after leaving their cheater rather than accepting their lies and false affection.
Bravo and many hugs to you
Me:mid 40s
CH:late 50s
DDay:09/28/2016
wanted R until semi/suspected 2nd DDay on 03/29/2017
Lining up ducks slow going
Trying to keep it together for my kids, failing
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 6:27 PM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
Good to hear from you Karmita!
You deserve the good life... enjoy!
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 6:53 PM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
The fixer upper is starting to look better. My dad has helped me out with some repairs and yard clean up. It's home and I'm happy here.
Thanks to you all for your kindness.
Just saying and checking in to say life is good !
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