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((((((confused))))))

I will keep you and your mom in my prayers. Sending you strength as well.

(((Confused)))

I'm so sorry... my prayers are with you.

I'm so sorry. I was in your same position 2 years ago with my mom. Stage 4 bladder cancer.

Spend as much time with her as you can. Hold her hand. Reminisce. Ask her lots of questions about her youth and your childhood.

(((Confused)))

((((confused))). I am so sorry; you will be in my prayers.

Confused,

So incredibly sorry. I lost my Mom this year. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers.

Fu*k cancer! Hugs and prayers to you. You just give your Mom all the love you can in her remaining time.

I am so sorry Confused.

This is usually an aggressive cancer. Please be there for her, and support her in her decisions, and always encourage her to consider quality of life vs quanity.

Also please talk with her and her treatment team about options in palliative care, and Hospice.

One thing I have found is many, too many people wait until it's far too late to get the benefit of these fields of practice. Both allow your mom and family to know that cure isn't an option (when it becomes clear that it isn't) and that you switch focus from "Get Well, Get Well Get Well" to "Ok we cant' fix this, but we can treat you in a manner that will give you the most quality with time you have left."

It can be amazing for patients and families to actually be given the opportunity to wrap things up, make ammends if needed, and eventually say their goodbyes. It also helps the families to grieve a bit.

((((and strength and peace))))

((((confused))))

My Mom is a former nurse, she worked in radiation oncology. One thing she offers to do for friends/ friends of friends is to go to the doc appointment with them. She can take notes and ask the right questions, then be able to explain them later to the patient.

You are so emotionally raw while in the doc appointments, it would be good to bring someone else with you to take notes/ask questions.

I am so very sorry...sending you huge hugs.

I spent some time with her yesterday. She has a good attitude. She is determined to be here for another 2 years. My sister is in jail(a whole other thread and heartache) and won't be out for 2 years. So she is highly motivated. So that's good.

But. I have spoken to my aunt who was with her when she was diagnosed. She told me the truth, no sugarcoating. (Mom tends to only tell us what she thinks we need to know to "protect" us..she has always done this.) I am a realist. My mom has been in poor health for a long time. She has lived off cigarettes and pepsi for 30 years..with a little food tossed in for good measure. She is very frail.

She has stopped smoking. That is HUGE. I stopped by her place a few weeks ago,unexpected, and she was gone. I cleaned up a bit. On the way home I realized what had been bothering me and asked my FWH if he recalled smelling smoke at her house,or if he say any ashtrays. He didn't. And yesterday, the house smelled smoke free.

We are all being very positive, telling her of course she will be here when Chasity gets out of jail. We are lying. We all know that isn't true.

She is getting help from various agencies in town. She got her wigs yesterday.

I did really good. While I helped her put on her wig...while she was telling me if there is anything I want of hers I can take it now..or later...and I didn't cry while she was going through pics and giving them to me. But I did cry when we were leaving. No sobs,just tears. She told me not to cry,that she isn't scared. That she is worried about us(her children) but knows we will be ok.

I sobbed uncontrollably all the way home.

Thank you for the prayers,hugs, and kind words.

((((((((Confused))))))))

My dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer. We haven't gotten any other details yet. My heart goes out to you-I'm still a little numb.

Hugs,

K

Oh, no (((confused)))...I'm so very sorry. I lost my mom to the same disease. I don't know where your mother is on the timeline, but if you get good hospice lined up BEFORE you need it, it is a godsend, in terms of ensuring peace and comfort (for all of you).

Millions of hugs to you.

(((confused615)))

What a terrible shock to get, and a great sadness to have entered your life. I'm so very sorry.

Others have posted most of what I would have (advocacy, quality vs. quantity, ...) but one are that I don't see is her estate. Hope this doesn't sound insensitive but it is pragmatic. This advice springs from a situation that developed with a family member who was diagnosed in early December a couple years ago and died the end of January, maybe 8 weeks later.

Ensure her affairs are in order sooner vs. later because later may come sooner than expected. If she owns a home or other property, probate may be avoided if titled in such a way as to pass automatically upon death to the survivors. Knowing what she has and where is important; accounts, property, etc. Ensure any deeds or other legal documents have every detail correct; a mistake can make the best-laid planning get blown to smithereens. Getting her to establish durable POA with a trusted family member is also very important.

Sending you strength.

(((confused615)))

(((confused)))

I am so sorry....sending prayers and healing thoughts for your family

..

..there are no words!!!

just sending hugs and prayers to you, your mom and your family.

smy

((((Confused615))))

I'm really sorry...you and your mom are in my prayers

(((confused615))) Thinking of you and your mom.

((((Confused)))))