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Happy birthday to your DS Phoenix. I hope the trip to WA was not too overwhelming and that you had a moment of peace from visiting the site.

I pray yesterday went as well as can be expected.

I pray you will now be able to take deep breaths, and start to decompress and take some time to just "be". You can catch up later. Just rest. Just have some down time.

You deserve it.

Sending prayers and hugs to you today.

(((Phoenix)))

I survived. Not sure how, but I did. Yesterday was grueling. Arrived in WA at 6 a.m. Met with Army staff on base to pick up DS's death certificates on my way to pick up DS's best friend in Lacey. Drove to bro and SIL's memorial service in Edmonds, where I was so angry I could have easily bashed my niece's heads together. Oldest niece was 15 minutes late and youngest was 25 minutes late. Yes, to their own parent's memorial service. I commented to them, but just as I suspected (I know them too well), they didn't care or see anything wrong with it. Oldest nieces response, "I am only 15-20 minutes late, that's not bad." I was truly embarrassed to be related to these twits, and my heart broke for bro/SIL at the absolute disrespect. Nieces did finally get me the two death certificates so I can get the legal process going. Nothing more heart heavy than being a courier with death certificates for three family members at the same time.

After the memorial service, BF and I headed back down south to Olympia to go to DS's memorial in the mountains. It took us a while to find it as we were doing it from memory with the only time either of us were there was on the day of DS's recovery. It was pouring rain, but that wasn't going to stop me. We finally found it and I added 21 red roses to memorial and wished him a happy birthday. DS's Army friends built a truly loving memorial, and they even carved a cross on a tree at the trailhead. The actual location is so far off the trail that no one will even accidentally stumble upon in. Thus, it will likely remain untouched, which makes me glad. As I stood there I could not help wondering why he chose that spot. Nothing remarkable about it. BF and I talked about it for a few minutes but could not arrive at a likely reason. It will forever remain a mystery.

After dropping off BF, I had to call airline as I was going to miss my flight. Got put on the next one and finally got home at 1:30 this morning. As I got out of my car in the driveway, my eyes were drawn to the night sky where I witnessed one of the best aurora light displays I have ever seen. It stretched across the entire sky, and I felt DS with me. Just stood there for a while and watched the lights dance with abandon. Went to bed when the lights finally started to fade and slept until 3p today. Guess I was tired.

Now it turns to the legal aftermath for all of them, and hopefully some heart healing with time. Even after sleeping until 3, I am still incredibly tired. Life will never be the same without two of my best friends, DS and bro.

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 9:38 PM, May 4th (Sunday)]

((((Phoenix))))

I am not surprised to hear you made it thru yesterday. You are so strong. I am glad to hear you accomplished all that you set out to do.

I am sorry about your nieces. After seeing the news reports I am not surprised they caused you more heartache. For that I am sorry.

Sending more prayers, hugs and strength to you.

(((((Phoenix)))))))

Praying for strength and peace for you.

K

Sending prayers to you for today.

Hoping you are just veggin' on the couch, and taking a deep breath.

Sending strength.

eta: b/c my brain is faster than my fingers!!

[This message edited by still2suspicious at 1:20 PM, May 5th (Monday)]

(((Phoenix)))

I am so sorry about your nieces....

(((Phoenix))))

Take some time to rest. IT's ok. YOU need it.

You are an amazingly strong woman.

((((Phoenix)))

The aurora display sounds lovely. I hope you are able to get more rest now although I know it will never make up for these losses.

(((((Phoenix1)))))

You have endured more than any human should have to. I wish you strength and peace in the coming weeks.

(((Phoenix)))

my eyes were drawn to the night sky where I witnessed one of the best aurora light displays I have ever seen. It stretched across the entire sky, and I felt DS with me.

He was right besides you. I've heard that the auroras are weak lately yet this one was brilliant. That was DS holding you tight. I truly believe that. I'm glad you slept so long. You needed the rest.

(((Phoenix)))

Just saw this thread. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.....((((Phoenix & Family))))

My heart breaks for you.

Sending prayers and hugs to you for today.

Hope you are starting to get some much needed rest.

Sending strength.

(((((Phoenix))))) With all the services over, the paperwork is just beginning. I fervently hope you have a smooth path with all the estate work.

Sending you peace.

I sit in a restaurant having lunch, hoping no one notices the tears streaming. Couldn't help it, reading your account of visiting the touching memorial and then how you felt DS as you watched the Aurora Borealis. That was a lovely way for you to unwind with nature and DS after your grueling marathon day.

I'm glad you had DS's BF with you for the day. It surely helped both of you. No mention of the fiance, so I'm hoping that dreaded circumstance didn't materialize. You didn't need that.

Rest now.

(((Phoenix1))) I am also in tears. I am in awe of your strength and grace. Blessings to you, and may you find healing and peace.

E.

What a beautiful sendoff seeing the AB! I truly believe in signs and yours was something that some people will never see especially in such raw, beautiful form.

As you reach back home, know in these days ahead, eat, sleep and rest. Take care of you. Know your bro and DS would want this for you. Know we are all still here to listen and empathize with you.

Sending prayer for continued strength across this miles...

You are my hero. Your strength puts all every day quarrels and problems into perspective. May God bless you and may some peace be yours.