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(((Phoenix)))

Take care of yourself, dear.

(((HUGS))) All my love & support are with you.

Still thinking of you. I think that light show was meant just for you and I'm sure your son was there too.

Thank you for the update. You are still very much in my thoughts and prayers every day.

(((((((((((((((((((((Phoenix1)))))))))))))))))))))))))

((Phoenix))

Thinking of you every single day.

Sending prayers and hugs to you today.

Hope you are still taking the time to rest. Lean on DD's.

Sending strength.

You are on my mind today as always. Sending you comfort. (((((Phoenix)))))

Thinking of you today Phoenix. I hope you are finding peaceful moments as the day does by. Sending you some energy for renewal and repair for your heart and soul.

Trying to get through each day, one step at a time. Knowing this Sunday is Mother's Day is going to be tough. DS always sent me flowers for Mother's Day, even when he was half way around the world on deployment...

The legal quagmire continues. Military deaths involve a LOT of paperwork. More meetings scheduled for next week. Talking to many different attorneys for many different reasons (remember that lawsuit I alluded to previously???). Starting the probate process for bro and SIL now that I have death certificates. Just had to jump on niece to tell her to just STOP. She thinks going around with death certificates for her parents magically opens doors for her. I explained this before, but I might as well be talking to the wall for all that it sinks in. Too many dead brain cells from drug abuse, unfortunately.

My youngest DD is trying to finish high school this week to graduate next week. This could not have come at a worse time for her. She asked me last night if I would be okay with her grades slipping this semester as long as she passes (she has always been an A student). Well, duh, of course! But the fact that she actually asked speaks of how bad she feels about it. She just doesn't have the motivation. The school has been working with her and that is part of the problem. Every time she goes to school she gets pulled into the counselor's office to see how she is doing. She hates that and just wants to go about her day and not talk about it. But they officially have her on suicide watch due to the magnitude of the tragedies that have occurred. She never told anyone about her father and I divorcing last year either (she is just as private as me) and that came out with everything else. They are just doing their job and showing concern, but it is annoying her greatly and makes her not want to even go to school because of it. She's graduating, and that's all she cares about right now.

Catching up at work (multiple jobs) has been quite a feat in itself, but I am getting there, slowly.

We just found out that DS's personal effects (including motorcycle and truck) were still being held in WA by the Army. Apparently they could not find the title to the motorcycle and cannot ship without it and that has held up everything else. Was hoping that was already in transit as that is going to be painful to receive when it gets here. I want to get that out of the way as quickly as possible, but due to this latest snag it could be another 30 days or so before we get it. We got them what they needed so hopefully it will get moving.

Dealing with three different estates at one time is definitely putting my organizational skills to the test, but for once I am glad I have exceptional skills in that area. However, I find trying to remember everything is difficult right now as I am still really tired and cognitive abilities are definitely affected. Thank goodness for sticky notes! DS's father is helping a lot with DS's stuff, which definitely helps ease some of the burden. That just means we still have to constantly interact with each other which is yet another stressor in all this.

So as I said, just trying to get through each day. I told my girls I might plan a trip somewhere, anywhere, in late summer after the dust settles just for me to get away for a bit. The thought of doing that gives me something to look forward to.

This weekend, in addition to it being Mother's Day, is going to be bittersweet. My girls and I signed up months ago to take a motorcycle riding course together, which is this weekend. DS was so thrilled about it for us. He was teaching me how to ride his motorcycle the last time I was in WA with him. DDs and I are still doing it, and I asked both DDs if it would bother them if I used DS's motorcycle helmet for the course. I want him to be with me, and I hand carried that helmet from the mountains where he was found back home. The girls said it would not bother them. I also told them as a tribute to DS I was going to follow through and learn how to ride DS's motorcycle when it gets here. DS's BF gets home for good in July and he said he would help me (he and DS are both avid riders). That was something DS and I had planned, and I want to see it through for him. As I said, a bittersweet accomplishment.

*sigh* Just so much still to do when I really just want to go to bed and sleep for a month...

Phoenix, you are constantly on my mind. I continue to wish you strength. I hope your daughter can get space to grieve soon and not have to be continually called into the counselor's office. I'm so happy that your daughters are ok with you using DS's helmet. I think that is wonderful.

Still thinking about you Phoenix1. You continue to have my deepest sympathy and empathy. Good news is that at least there is not a lot of school left to go for DD. Continued courage and strength your way.

(((Phoenix)))

That is just so much on your plate to deal with, emotionally and logistically. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. I will be sending a lot of positive thoughts and strength in your direction in particular this Sunday.

My thoughts are always with you. What a strong woman...my heart is with you. Sending you strength ALWAYS!!

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you again for another update on how everything is going. I check here a few times a day to see if you posted

You have way too much on your plate but you are handling it 100 times better than I would be able to.

Wishing you strength this Sunday and every day.

(((((((Phoenix1)))))))

(((Phoenix)) Thinking of you and your girls and I am so happy you all decided to continue with the lessons. It is a great way to remember your DS.

So many people here and we all wish we could just do something for you. It's a situation where words just aren't enough - yet that is all we have to give. I really do not know where you have gotten your strength. Such heartache in such a short time for one person to absorb.

My thoughts are with you daily even though we'd never recognize each other if we passed on the sidewalk.

(((phoenix)))

i think about you every single day. your grace and strength are amazing. i hope that you manage to get through each day. There will never be any right words for this situation. Please take care of yourself. Planning a trip seems like a good idea.

I hope that the course with your girls can provide a bright spot in you weekend.

Oh Sweet Phoenix. You are amazing.

You will be thrilled you took the course and learned to ride. There is nothing better to help you get away from all the outside noise, and center yourself again. I love to ride. Unfortunately we are without bikes at this time. Spend time this weekend focusing on your girls, and feel the love they have and embrace your time together.

((((and continued strength))))

Phoenix1, You are in my prayers daily. I continue to be amazed by your strength. I want you to know that you have been a source of inspiration with regard to the grace with which you've handled the unthinkable.

Phoenix1 - Can you feel my arms around you? I am hugging you as tightly as I can. I sure hope it helps.

I think of you every day.

((((Phoenix1))))