SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hey A-hole. You might want to check who you are texting before you hit send. Things between you and DSs are already bad - really bad. But texting DS13 a message intended for a female is pretty sorry - even for you.

Try to find what little bit of your brain might be left!

Thankful - same thing happened here when he texted our 15 year old instead of her, it's happened several times!

UG - mj! What is wrong with these people? My XWH pushed DSs away, then just walked out on them. They have had so much to deal with, and things like this happen that are just a slap in the face. Pure stupidity.

soooo yeah you're an asshole. i caved yesterday and i super wish i didn't. you aren't very satisfying for one and it was boring. i realized how boring you are. i feel so utterly stupid but I'm grateful cause it gave me my appetite back!

i can still see your shit. all of it. and yes i looked occasionally. so yes i saw when you looked at some gross fat pornstars vine of her face with her pierced septum and her black lipstick cause you like alternative more than anything in the world. yeah i saw that. i saw that you watched it. probably doing god knows what to your gross self whilst watching it too. sad sad sad little man.

you make out you're getting better. making moves to be a better person no matter what. i have a little bit of happiness in the fact that i know thats complete bull crap. you have lower to go. and the only reason i am not pushing you to go lower is because you're a complete waste of my time now! good luck to you.

How the hell am I supposed to get over my anger and move on when you are still in an affair with her? Explain to me what kind of super human do you think I am. I do blame myself for that. I never allowed you to see my emotion for so many years that now I have some, you have no idea what to do with it. But really, you spent the last 2 holidays fucking SS (her actual initials but we will say it's super skank) and taken her to every place that was special for us and I'm not supposed to display any anger about that?

Why the hell are we going to a mediator? It's all optional in your mind. Just come and go as you please see your kids whenever, holidays whatever works for you, the world revolves around you and super skank. I'll just be in the house doing the actual work that involves raising kids-homework, laundry, meals, buying gifts, clothes etc. your idea of what it means to be divorced is as dillusional as your love for super skank.

I'm sure Easter was lonely for you. Once again, you should have thought of that when I begged you not to start the affair, when I begged you not to continue the affair, when your family, friends, priest, therapist and boss told you that your marriage was what you should work on. The lonely holidays, lack of home cooked meals, and general unhappiness are all the result of your choices. You continue to try to blame me and on occasion super skank for your own unhappiness.

I'm sure most nights like last night are lonely for you. But why tell me? You don't want me, you want her, so tell her. I know she is not as understanding as me. That's because she is self centered like you. 2 self centered people cannot be together. There always has to be one who will sacrifice for the other-that is how we lasted so long.

I know and you know I will come out of this much stronger. I will learn how to say no, I will refuse to put up with being any less than number 1 in someone's life. I have friends and family that support me and our boys. I will meet a wonderful man someday who will be all the things you never were. You will come out of this alone, bitter, unhappy, having alienated your family with your lies and eventually your sons will figure out what you did. Once you and super skank finally realize that your relationship based on lies, drama and lack of reality will not last, you will literally have nothing but your golf clubs and your memories.

Please leave me alone to heal. I am begging you.

Here's a simple text I'm *not* sending to STBXWW:

"I just hate you now"

That's how I felt in the moment just 10 minutes ago... now my feelings are more nuanced (though I certainly have anger and hate for her).

I know that text would hurt her more than any sort of response from her would hurt me. She's in a worse place emotionally than I am. But I don't need to hurt her (she's still the mother of my son) and I need to heal, so file this one under NC. But seriously, fuck you!

Hope you enjoy your family get together today, introducing whorenados kids to your sisters and parents. Playing happy bloody families and showing what a perfect father you are. But the truth is you are both lying cheats who are happy to hurt whoever gets in your way.......she puts a man (used loosely here!!) and her new luuurrrvvvee baby before her own 2 kids, you manipulate and lie to make yourself look good. Perfect happy couple, so go on put your act on for another couple of hours, prove to your family you aren't an utter shit and this was all worth it.

I kept my real feelings hidden. If you truly knew it would hurt you. And there is enough hurt that goes around without me adding to it. So i rely on silence now more than anything it is just as effective and kinder.

I did the right thing by standing by you when your brother died. But when the dust began to settle and I was alone with you again I just wanted to go back to my beautiful life alone without you and all your issues.

The hardest thing is falling out of love. I am not attracted to you anymore, I am not in love with you anymore. Where there is no trust or respect it is not worth the effort I believe.

I know you have suffered tremendously from your bad choices and your life is a hollow shell of what it once was. I see you punishing yourself but you know .. that did nothing to rebuild what you broke.

You broke something so beautiful and special and now I just feel so sorry for you.

I have lost all my good feelings and it is kinder that I keep the silence right now.

My life improves when you are not in it. My smile is genuine and there are no remnants of your infidelity to dampen my days. I prefer it that way now. I prefer to live without the stain of what you did to me. I prefer to have no more bombs go off around me. I prefer peace and contentment and I cant have that with you around me.

There is no anger anymore .. there is no passion ... no energy between us. You have been very destructive like a small child with a sledgehammer and no idea of what you broke. And now it is over. It is really over.

I am leaving this place where we were building our dreams together. I am leaving the memories of this place behind and buying a new place for me and the kids without you. You got left behind a long time ago but you were so wrapped up in your self absorption you didnt even see it.

Too little too late now.

Thank you for the constant reminder of how much more you value your orgasms than me

[This message edited by whiteflower99 at 9:24 PM, April 10th (Sunday)]

I hope it's ok that I post here. We weren't married yet. I just need support in separating from him and staying NC.

Here's what I wanted to send him:

"I fucking hate you. I cannot believe that you are OK with this and are moving on so quickly. FUCK YOU. I hate what you have done to me and the person you turned me into. Please fucking die"

Oh yes Rethlin........ a perfect "stay no contact - Post it here post"

and I agree with every word

Hugs to you, MOBx

Ok, my turn. I've been here before, I may even delete this before hitting Submit Message....

I think about you less and less, so what's my problem today, eh? Perhaps just chalk it up to I've been so sick with the flu since Thursday, my cat died on Sunday, I'm pretty wore down.

And you stopped "paying me" on time it seems, and you sort of asked me out, there's that.

Well, buddy, I find I really haven't that much to say to you. Well, yeah, I do, but you never ever listened so I ...just...stopped.

Years, YEARS of letters, heartfelt and loving, given to you, never reciprocated, never even commented on. Never. Years of talking, earnestly, frightened, with no talk back from you. Then the stupid letter I happened upon that you wrote to her that put paid on the whole damn thing.

Still no words from you.

But I printed off my whole goddamned online diary and gave it to you, to prove who I was in our marriage all the time you said I was horrible, lazy, unsexy, an anchor dragging you down.

You couldn't even bother to read past page one, it was smooshed in your briefcase that went to work with your girlfriend til I became uncrazy enough to remove it from you.

I stood, over and over, at the foot of OUR BED that you took over like some crappy lowlife king, first talking, questioning, reasoning then yelling, wailing, sobbing, til I retreated downstairs to my couch.

The things you said amounted to a few paragraphs all through this divorce.

So, I got to thinking, what could you say now?

Nothing, that's what I got, what I will get, I know.

So, when you text me and I don't respond, or I do with a 2 or 3 word answer, I'm just all talked out. I know you never ever thought that would happen, but it did.

So, what I have here is I'm thinking about him, mad, so mad still. But in this stage, well, he's not in it. That's good, right? Progress. No contact. I was going through photos to bury with my Freddie and so came upon pics of Young Us, he was so cute, me too, I was so in love. When the kids were little, that guy I loved . The guy I divorced? Someone else entirely.

Crazy.

Really? REALLY? You're fucking delusional. There's no way in hell that's happening. None. But because you insist on being a belligerent douche canoe, I'm going to have to call my attorney and talk to him about it to see how to proceed with this.

You are SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's wrong.

Idiot.

WOW.

You and your attorney are quite the pair.

I literally can't wait for our next court date so that I can see your faces when you realize the fuck up you just made.

I'm having a hard time containing my laughter. I'm not proud about that, but I literally almost can't stand myself.

No one is buying your "What affair? The divorce is mutual!" act. Everyone who knows you has lost respect for you, even your own mother thinks your an idiot. You are such an embarrassing cliche, the old guy chasing after the young enough to be his daughter co-worker. What's next? Going to buy a Corvette? You might as well get a bright red t-shirt that says "Raging Midlife Crisis" on it.

Your kids no longer respect you. You've lost your friends. You've lost the most loyal friend you've ever had. Me.

You're moving out this weekend. I know young whore will be moving in soon. Don't even pretend. Oh, and I wouldn't try introducing her to your kids. They both want to hurt her.

What are you going to do now? You've burned your bridges. I've kept my cool and been civil with you but that belies how I really feel. I just refuse to lose my dignity and give you the satisfaction of knowing just how hurt I really am.

You are a fucking idiot. I was the best thing that you ever fucking had. No one else worth being with is ever going to put up with your fucking bullshit.

Enjoy dating while being 30 and living with your grandma, with no car. Do you have a house key yet? Fucking hilarious your own family doesnt trust you with a key when you LIVE THERE. Enjoy fucking having to beg your aunt and uncles to give you a ride to and from your fucking lame ass job.

Enjoy explaining to your new hoe that your dick doesn't fucking work! That you can't even keep it up.

You sir are a tool. And I hate you.

Did you guys trade in your car for a minivan yet? Sorry I find it so funny that OWhore forces you to share a car with her, but the fact that you now have 4 kids (our 2 sons, her son, and your new spawn) and can't fit them all in for even a ride to the corner gas station is pretty hilarious to me.

No really, it's fine. I can keep the kids again. I realize those 4 overnights a month you are supposed to have our sons can get stressful for you

Lets do a timeline about why I'm saying NO, shall we?

1994 we met

1995 we are dating, and commit

1995 I have to watch you and an ex kiss goodnight because "you haven't told her about us" (Guess I was your OW then)

And now let the countdown begin.

Please understand I DIDN'T KNOW about MOST of these until VERY recently, and the ones I DID find out about I believed you when you lied because I freaking LOVED you.

1996 OW1. 18 years older than you. At the time you were 22. She was 40 and looked 60 That's fucking gross, and I found out recently because you can't throw anything away. Remember the damn flash drives when you move out next time.

1997 OW2&3 discovered by hotel receipt, but I believed you when you said you got the room for a co-worker because HE was too drunk to drive.

1997 condoms found in your truck you are "keeping for a friend".

1998 OW (let's just say 4 because who knows by now) at work and at your university

1999 you go out with the guys and they don't come back with you. No one knows where you were

2000 I'm pregnant with DS2 and you bring OW5 (your old HS GF into our home while I'm out of town)

2000 DS2 is born and you are still hopping bars after work

2001 We move to a beach town, you take a job in sales and have to "entertain" clients

2002 DD2 is born and although I don't know it, your OW6 (whom you've been seeing since 2000) is aborting your OC. Maybe. She said she was pregnant

2003 you start working as a restaurant manager, but neither the children nor I am allowed to visit because of the "drama". But you get to go out with your "friends" after work.

2004 OW7-8-9 leave you cards and voice mails about how much they enjoy your time together

2005 OW10 has a mini-meltdown when she finds out I exist.

2006 OW12 (Who I THOUGHT was OW1) brought me here to SI in March of 2007 because by this time you were S T U P I D in how you tried to cover your EA/PA up. Really? Role Playing?

2007 OW12 blows up in your face, you lose your job, we lose the house and move to GA

2008 online memberships to FLING.COM

2009 OW 13-16 (again just found out about those)

2010 OW 17 online cyber affair

2011 OW 18-19 ONS behind Waffle House

2012 OW 20-21-22 clients, coworkers whatever

2013 OW 23-24-26-27

2013 25 who outed you because she thought you were cheating on her with OW 26, 27, and me. (Sorry, but this still cracks me up)

2013 OW 24 because... well I suppose at this point you felt entitled. Except I kicked your ass out and made you tell EVERYONE why. You start therapy, I start therapy, but before we can move too far along on the recovery train, you run 6 states away.

2014 OW ... I've lost count again, what was it? Oh yes, I remember now. OW28. Whom you deny but when I texted her (from VZ Messages as your number) responded with quite explicit details about how she enjoyed your "sessions"

2015 OW29 twenty-nine.

or maybe it's 30.

or maybe even higher.

I think I'm going to go throw up now.

Because while you were literally fucking your life away, I was being your support. I put my life on hold and you made your sexual release more important than me.

I gave you every ounce of my energy, and you told me an orgasm was more important to you, or rather, more important than me.

I let you in again. And again. And again. And every time, your needs, whatever it is that's broken inside you was more important than me.

As I've told you before, you can fuck 1000 women, but they won't be me. They won't be real.

I used to think you stole yourself, that part of you that should have been mine and gave it to your OW, but the reality is you've never been mine. There was not one year from 1994 until 2016 where you've been faithful. You don't know how. You're incapable.

You will have empty, vacant eyed bobble headed women so desperate they'll settle for anything. They will fake orgasms to please you. They will tell you what you want to hear so you will tell them what THEY want to hear. But it won't be real. You don't know how to be real.

So yes, I hurt, I cry, I rage, I bleed, I hate.

And I can't wait until you're so insignificant I don't care whether you live or die.

Fuck. You.

((Whiteflower)) your timeline made me do sad, sad for what he put you through. You may hurt, cry, rage, bleed and hate but you have a strength and courage which can only be admired. You got this.....FTG!!

Dear asshat of the lowest order,

You CANNOT manipulate or control me any longer. You may think you can by trying to blackmail me but the last laugh will be on you. I am biding my time, and believe me, it will be worth it, to see karma kick your sorry ass.

I hope you and OW have the life you deserve.