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Well, I was able to get the password to get access to her cell phone history. I'm in the process of printing everything out now, but my God....it's overwhelming. All day, every day, 3 in the morning, 4 in the morning.

Not so many calls, there are alot, but the texts? There are 49 pages from just the last 3 weeks alone.

I'm just gonna print out the last week, which will take about 45 minutes, then when she was away with my daughters at the end of March, and then go back to prior to her telling me "I want a separation, I'm not happy", which was around February 1.

The lawyer should be interested in this.

This situation is not that abnormal. She's a cake eater.

She has OM for excitement/sex and you as plan B for support.

She treats you better (breadcrumbs) to keep her plan B when she thinks you may end it.

When you talk and try to get her back in the marriage she gets crazy because she wants OM.

[This message edited by Marc878 at 11:25 AM, April 15th (Friday)]

Well, I was able to get the password to get access to her cell phone history. I'm in the process of printing everything out now, but my God....it's overwhelming. All day, every day, 3 in the morning, 4 in the morning.

Not so many calls, there are alot, but the texts? There are 49 pages from just the last 3 weeks alone.

I'm just gonna print out the last week, which will take about 45 minutes, then when she was away with my daughters at the end of March, and then go back to prior to her telling me "I want a separation, I'm not happy", which was around February 1.

Does she sinc her phone? Those deleted texts can be recovered.

The other way is to steal her phone and take it somewhere and have a text and deleted text recovery done on it.

Does she ever leave her phone unguarded?

Unguarded? She takes it with her into the shower. She keeps it under her pillow when she sleeps.

60-70 texts in one day? I doubt she's deleting anything.

I have had problems with my thyroid, went on medications at 39 and am constantly changing prescriptions. Up one time, down the next. I have also went through menopause. Both of those made me disinterested in sex. Both those conditions are known for making one loose their libido.

She is doing this because she wants to and it is not a mid life medical problem.

make copies and keep a set in a safe place outside of the home. Keep the 180 going and file

Re. the texting...what is the point of looking into this?

You know she's having an affair. You know she is unwilling to stop.

Now if you are just curious about it, sure, go for it and find out what the texts say*.

I think the technical term for this is "morbid curiosity"

*You might want to take a Xanax before you read them though.

It's not that, I'll explain once I'm done with organizing this mess

It's all about documentation right now.

Feb. 1 my wife tells me she wants a separation because she isn't happy. It's just a "trial separation" to see how she feels. She's confused, blah-blah-blah

The phone records show contact on Christmas Eve, Christmas day, New Years Eve, New Years day.

2 days after we returned from our 25th wedding anniversary in the middle of January, she was all over the phone with him. This is after she shared on FB how happy she is, congratulating us both, telling me how much she loves me.

She said "the light bulb went off" when she was in counseling to visit our son in California the second week of February. That she is "Codependent" and needs to move away from me to fix her "problem". And yet, she was texting him all day, every day while she was there.

She took our daughters on a birthday "getaway" trip at the end of March. Not sure how much time she actually spent with them, considering she was texting him the whole time she was there.

Documented lies, all of them.

In the middle of printing all this garbage out, she texts me -

just wanted to let you know, I'm going out tonight to a friend's open beach house. Don't know if I'll stay over, but I might if it's fun. <daughter> is sleeping out tonight. Not sure bout <other daughter>. Just wanted to let you know because I know you think I don't respect you enough to let you know these things. I really don't want to have bad feelings between us

Gee she's a peach. How nice of her. And I have to work tonight, but she's not sure where or who is gonna watch or take care of our 13 year old daughter?

Don't worry, I'll figure it out while simultaneously going to work, you just go out, party, have fun, and get lit.

Yeah. Rampant texting and crazy amount of time on the phone seems common w WSes.

Good luck. (And yeah, consider taking that xanex!)

I'd watch and steal that phone have someone do a text recovery. If you don't know how. Just act like you font know a thing about it.

Can you afford a PI? Perfect opportunity.

She's rubbing your face in it.

No, can't afford a PI, but I wouldn't waste the money anyway. For pictures of them together when I know they're together anyway?

As far as reading the texts, how so? These texts only show the date, time, to who, and incoming/outgoing.

Is there a way of seeing the content of the texts? A few were picture texts, so I can only imagine.

In the middle of printing all this garbage out, she texts me -

just wanted to let you know, I'm going out tonight to a friend's open beach house. Don't know if I'll stay over, but I might if it's fun. <daughter> is sleeping out tonight. Not sure bout <other daughter>. Just wanted to let you know because I know you think I don't respect you enough to let you know these things. I really don't want to have bad feelings between us

Gee she's a peach. How nice of her. And I have to work tonight, but she's not sure where or who is gonna watch or take care of our 13 year old daughter?

Don't worry, I'll figure it out while simultaneously going to work, you just go out, party, have fun, and get lit.

Save these texts as well, since it overlaps your work schedule and it involves your minor children. This is self incriminating

Absolutely. This isn't the first time, or even the second time she has taken off for the night and the kids don't know, I don't know where they're at when I get home from work, if they've eaten, etc.

My son and daughter just rolled up to the house when I was out front, and my daughter asks for money to go out to eat. She says - "Mom says you have to take care of dinner because she's going out for the night".

Think I can find myself a better woman then this?

[This message edited by JM72 at 2:19 PM, April 15th (Friday)]

Aside from having a family packing day with your kids putting her stuff in some Hefty bags or banana boxes and leaving them out in the driveway, you could just try personally hand delivering some of them to her at her next venue/bar of choice.

Maybe her new dawg would be willing to sign for the shipping if she's not there when you get there to drop her things off. I suggest wrapping the more important little items in copies of the printed material you're getting off that phone. Wouldn't that be some nice holiday wrapping paper for her things? Especially the pictures. They say a picture's worth a 1000 words. What would the rapper say? Can you get royalties for him using your material?

Not sure if this is consistent with other members' feelings or not, but I would blow this thing sky high to try and snap/slap her out of it and to her senses and help her wake up and smell the coffee before it's too late to save her place with you and the girls.

JM I have followed your entire thread and I must say you have the patience of a saint! I only hope that things work out as you want them to! Hugs.

I think the technical term for this is "morbid curiosity"

See also, "pain shopping."