Hurtinghusbandinwisco, you said it was an EA, is this because this is what your wife told you it was, or did you find out some other way.
One of the first rules for a BS to learn is, Cheaters Lie, they say what they know you want and prefer to hear.
With what you have posted on what your wife told you about her feelings for the OM and the length the affair has been going on, also the OMs reply to her when she asked him to leave his wife and kids for her, says to me it was definitely a PA affair, that he has had his way with your wife and wants to keep it that way under wraps (kept secret) if he can.
CincyKid got it spot on when he said,
EA? No, my friend. I feel even worse for you if you really believe that. This was no EA. People don't plan on leaving their spouses for an EA.
I would also advise not the send the letter but if you feel you must then please, please, please edit it to the below, this is to safeguard yourself from future court usage by her.
Amber,
You have been in my life since November 6th 1997. Almost half of my life has been spent sharing it with you as my wife, my partner, my best friend, the mother of my children. We have seen and done so many incredible things together as husband and wife, mother and father, as best friends. We have built a home together for our family, for our children. We have travelled all across the country together, seeing beautiful things and making memories that will be in my mind (consider changing to memory) forever. You have given me the ultimate gift of two beautiful daughters.
Recently you decided that what we have spent the last 20 years building was not your ideal. You decided that I was not your ideal. I told you to chase your ideal out of love and respect for you, your heart and soul. Out of respect for your happiness in life. When you and Aaron decided to not pursue your dreams, I thought I could deal with being Plan B. I thought I had the strength inside me for you to maintain your close friendship with him, to work with him and see him every day. I have found that I do not have that strength inside of myself. I hoped that you would see the pain and sorrow that your continued friendship and feelings for Aaron have caused me and continue to cause me. I hoped you would make a conscious decision to end all of this on your own.
You have told me the following:
Aaron is my best friend, and I need him.
I find Aaron physically attractive.
I love Aaron.
I am in love with Aaron.
I believe that all of these things that you have stated should be reserved for your husband. They should be reserved for the man you committed your life to on July 1st 2000, in front of our family’s, friends and God.
Amber, you are an adult and you are free to do whatever you choose. I can not, nor do I wish to control you or your life. What I can control is myself and my life. I have chosen to take back my life and pursue my own happiness. In choosing my happiness, I have decided that I will not continue to be married to someone who continues to work with and communicate with the man they had an affair with. I have too much self respect to tolerate the cruelty and disrespect that these actions subject me to. You have made it very clear that you will not give up your life with Aaron.
You were able to find the courage to ask Aaron to leave his wife for you. I am now asking you to find the courage and compassion to leave me, and file for a divorce so you can end the pain and suffering you are causing me and our family. Please show the same respect for my heart and happiness as I did for yours, if you can't find this courage and compassion for me, then I fully intend to start the divorce myself. END THE LETTER HERE.
Your concern for Aaron and his family's happiness shows that you have compassion inside of you. “DELETE OUT THIS PART AND THE REST OUT”
Regards BJE49
[This message edited by BJE49 at 6:22 AM, August 9th (Wednesday)]