SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Agree with Atrowspark. Keep her phone, use a recovery program to get back texts she's deleted.

I completely understand you getting physical with the OM but like others here have said, that's a line you don't want to cross again. Not because he doesn't deserve it, but because he's not worth you ending up in handcuffs. If you've got supportive friends or family, now's the time to lean on them. Feel free to use this place to rant and rave or seek support and advice. There's a great community here full of people who have been through this kind of pain.

Oh, and if it amuses you, just call her AP Jennifer from now on. Hell, call him Jennifer to his face if he's dumb enough to try and talk to you again.

[This message edited by firenze at 9:38 PM, December 14th (Friday)]

good job!

Be careful now!

You do not have the legal right to throw her out.

BE VERY CAREFUL!!!

You can ASK her to leave, but if you throw her out then all it takes is one 911 call and chances are you will be escorted out in cuffs. I know – I did that a number of times myself as a cop. Having a hand showing the effects of a punch won’t help your cause any with the cops.

This can have long-lasting, negative consequences such as a legal restraining order keeping you out of your own home, impact custody and more.

TREAD CAREFULLY HERE!!!

I doubt this dirtbag is going to come looking for you in any way. He got lumped up after trying to act like a tough guy and got caught having an A in the process. Send EVERYTHING on her phone to yours and to your email as quickly as possible. Try to calm down before she gets home. You don't want to blow up in front of the kids and look like the bad guy. This is on her. Not you.

I can’t believe the nerve on him to be angry with you. He should be running like a bitxh as far away as possible from you and yet he turns to you and threatens and shoves his chest at you. Why? Because you’re the husband of the married woman he wants a PA with? What makes him so entitled and dismissive of you? Fuck him. Go to the police and explain to them that he threatened you physically, invaded your space, physically assaulted you and you had to respond to protect your self. That you feared for your life.

If your wayward wife asks about your hand tell her that her boyfriend hit it with his face.

I'd call OM and ask him if this is going to between men or do you need to go to HR and explain to their work why he has a black eye.

Or

You wait for your old lady to get home and text the POS a no contact letter.

BTW...who is taking your old lady home?

[This message edited by TheGuy123 at 9:45 PM, December 14th (Friday)]

If you have iCloud set up you can syn her phone for later recovery.

Be prepared. All you'll get right now will be lies.

You can't trust her in any way.

Clearly he was drunk and attacked you. His word against yours.

this ^^^^^^

Under no circumstances should allow your wife to retrieve her phone. I would take it to another location tonight. Take it out of your home for safe keeping. Call a friend and or family to stay with you tonight as a witness once she returns. Tomorrow, retrieve all the deleted text and research to find out if he is married. I would contact HR Monday morning with the evidence.

You must be strategic and always be steps ahead of her.

If she has access to a phone and can text, then she has already called him and she knows what happened before she gets home.

Be calm when she gets home. You don't want to end up in a cell tonight. If you lose control it can easily happen.

Do not return her phone until you're done harvesting her texts etc.

Hide the phone in a safe place where it cannot be found. Tell her you ran over it and left it on the road on the way home.

Now that you have the OM's name and number have you Googled him to see if he is married and were he lives?

spend the $$$ for a back round check.

He ran away screaming... LOL

This is the man that was angry at you like a petulant child because he couldn’t be with your wife... oh, poor dude... He was angry that a married woman he wanted to cheat with was with her husband in his presence. How dare you be with your wife at a work function!!! Sometimes you just wonder what the hell these cheating bastards think of!

[This message edited by Mene at 9:59 PM, December 14th (Friday)]

Breathe. Please listen to Bigger. Don’t show your cards. Turn off her phone and put it somewhere (not in a drawer or any typical hiding place). Hell - bury in the dog food bin or behind the water heater in the garage. Forget it for tonight.

Listen to Bigger. Be calm. Talk to her from a sitting position across the room. Record your conversation on your phone. How you handle this evening IS critical to avoiding many future mistakes.

In short. Please listen to Bigger.

I’m so sorry.

Don’t give her the phone. Hide it NOW somewhere she definitely won’t find it. You don’t have time before her arrival to do any realistic data recovery. When she asks for her phone back you tell her no. Tell her that you are going to do a data-search on her phone to confirm whatever she might tell you about what’s going on. Make it VERY clear to her that if whatever she shares NOW doesn’t fit with what you were told in the (fake) e-mail you got and the info you already know then your marriage is definitely dead.

Don't keep the phone in your home!!! I agree with Bigger, tell your wife you are retrieving all the text from it. She can come clean now and if not, tomorrow will be a different story.