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Anyone get a tattoo after the A..

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Marie2792 ( member #44958) posted at 9:59 PM on Friday, January 11th, 2019

I had my first tattoos done two years after dday. I had always talked about doing it and even scheduled it twice but my husband somehow made sure something came up so we couldn’t go as planned. Deep down he really doesn’t like tattoos on women part of his Madonna complex I suppose. I went and did them anyway without his knowledge. After dday I really could care less what he thought.

Me: BS,48 (41 at dday)Him: WS, 56 (49 at dday)Married 27 years, together 30 Dday : 9/9/14 3 week PA

posts: 4857   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 8312598
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Soconfusing ( member #61392) posted at 10:08 PM on Friday, January 11th, 2019

I did! I got mine 2 months after Dday. I actually got two on the same day! Go big or go home

Interestingly I was never a fan of them but as things progressively got worse with him (he was so terrible to me during his year long affair) the more I wanted one. I’m not sure what the psychological reasoning behind that is, but I’m super proud of them and love them!

posts: 248   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2017
id 8312600
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IJusthurt2017 ( member #62266) posted at 1:35 AM on Saturday, January 12th, 2019

Yes, I got the infinity symbol with strong written in it. Every time I look at it when I feel down I can remember I'm forever strong. I also got my belly button pierced because he said it was stupid and pointless.

posts: 170   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2018   ·   location: TX
id 8312686
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 2:07 AM on Saturday, January 12th, 2019

Morecomplete...I like the way you think !!! Since she was a serial cheater...it should be a capital A...she sure earned it!!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8312698
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 3:17 AM on Saturday, January 12th, 2019

I've decided to get the Celtic symbol for strength and new beginnings.

Standing tall

posts: 2232   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8312719
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STBXH ( member #60824) posted at 4:24 AM on Saturday, January 12th, 2019

I think the word “breathe” on the wrist would be fitting. Just a little reminder when you’re boarding the roller coaster.

BH (me) 40 something
WW same
DD 12 DS 9


“The person that can fuck someone else, gaslight and lie to your face about it, is the very same person that cannot understand the soul crushing devastation you face at the revelation of their actions.” —me

posts: 324   ·   registered: Sep. 28th, 2017
id 8312733
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josiep ( member #58593) posted at 4:53 PM on Saturday, January 12th, 2019

At age 68, I got my first tattoo 4 months after the D.

It's on my left shoulder and my DD got the same on her right shoulder at the same time. It's an abstract of a woman in a long flowing gown holding out her arms and cradling a baby girl in her hands.

I love having it but I wish I'd gotten it somewhere that it shows more. So if I get an inspiration, I might get another someday.

BW, was 67; now 74; M 45 yrs., T 49 yrs.DDay#1, 1982; DDay#2, May, 2017. D July, 2017

posts: 3246   ·   registered: May. 5th, 2017
id 8312878
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 4:46 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2019

Cheating asshole used to tell me he wanted me to get a tattoo. So, after DDay 1996, I had a flaming pierced heard tattooed on my ankle. He never asked again. Not so hot now, huh?

BW, 54 WH 53 When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2199   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8313265
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 5:07 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2019

I do not have any tattoos but I have thought of getting one. Mine might be a hawk.

My reasons for picking this would be very personal. Hawks are fierce, and mate for life. My WS had a friend who gave me this name as a way of making fun of me so that is why I picked it as a screen name.

I like the heart with the dagger. A small reminder to choose carefully in the future

[This message edited by Shehawk at 11:08 AM, January 13th (Sunday)]

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1955   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8313279
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gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 5:29 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2019

Not sure if I can get the image to work, but I got something very similar to this after dday:

It's an arrow and infinity symbol, called a Swedish Malin. Basic meaning is you must face /experience the setbacks in order to move forward, but I've also seen folks describe it as the only way forward is through. Seemed fitting.

I love it and get a lot of compliments on it.

[This message edited by gmc94 at 11:40 AM, January 13th, 2019 (Sunday)]

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3828   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8313291
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Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 6:29 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2019

I did not go out of the box. I have a stylized (simple) phoenix. The body looks like fire, the tail like water. I say it's a trial by fire, quenched by the Living Water.

I was just talking to my DD yesterday (not including the fact that the A pushed me to wanting the tat). She knows the neglect/abuses I had in my childhood. I told her that when I got the tat in '09, I was focused on the symbolism. Now, I want to get it redone. Not covered, but I've been searching for an artist to redesign it. I want beauty too. Because I have made my life about more than just recovering.

ETA:

I've gotten a couple more - working on a watercolor phoenix now. Not red/yellow/orange but blue/purple/pink.

I've been looking at transforming mine to watercolor. I like the fire and ice, but I've learned reds and oranges tend to fade faster.

I'm just glad my linework isn't thick so it won't be horribly difficult to transform what I already have.

[This message edited by Holly-Isis at 12:40 PM, January 13th (Sunday)]

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

posts: 11713   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2007   ·   location: Just a fool in limbo
id 8313313
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 6:44 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2019

GMC— love this!! I have been toying with the idea since my XWH hated tattoos and I always wanted one. That on my wrist would be amazing... thanks for sharing

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6483   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8313319
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gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 10:19 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2019

Why thank you BarelyBreathing.

It's on my foot (symbolizing taking steps forward) and on my "bad" leg (symbolizing continuing the path despite the hurt).

I really love it and have zero regrets.

Got it with my son (at the time he had no idea why I was gangbusters to get a tattoo with him).

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3828   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8313398
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STBXH ( member #60824) posted at 3:39 AM on Monday, January 14th, 2019

I keep returning to this post...It's a trigger. My WW got two tattoos during her A. Makes me want to remove all of mine. And I have a lot.

BH (me) 40 something
WW same
DD 12 DS 9


“The person that can fuck someone else, gaslight and lie to your face about it, is the very same person that cannot understand the soul crushing devastation you face at the revelation of their actions.” —me

posts: 324   ·   registered: Sep. 28th, 2017
id 8313517
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Gravycake ( member #66333) posted at 4:07 AM on Monday, January 14th, 2019

I have an ink appointment in two weeks. Have about 8 already, but am having the lyrics of Garth Brooks “the dance” tattooed across my chest.

[This message edited by Gravycake at 10:36 PM, January 13th (Sunday)]

posts: 110   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2018   ·   location: West coast canada
id 8313531
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bdc1 ( member #61791) posted at 10:33 AM on Tuesday, January 15th, 2019

I was already pretty heavily tattoed from years back, but I have had a few more added since DD, that are all pertinent to looking after/protecting myself

I did toy with the idea of covering up my WW name that I had done years ago, but decided that regardless of the outcome of our R, it still forms part of MY history, even if it has taken a different path to that I imagined it would

[This message edited by bdc1 at 4:34 AM, January 15th (Tuesday)]

posts: 73   ·   registered: Dec. 12th, 2017   ·   location: Engand
id 8314109
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JimmyB ( member #43976) posted at 5:14 PM on Tuesday, January 15th, 2019

I have a little different take on that question. My WW got one after the last DDay. Its a heart shaped lock and key with a ribbon that has my name on it. Honestly I can't get past the suggested symbolism that somehow a permanent tattoo holds some absolute meaning when every choice she has made proves otherwise, specifically when it was done in the aftermath of DDay. I have many tattoos and have since the 70's. I have one from 1979 that has a ribbon that is empty. For years she asked me to put her name in that ribbon but I have always resisted saying to her jokingly, but not really, that tattoos are permanent. I have a old school Sailor Jerry sleeve and in 2012 I decided to add a heart with an arrow and a ribbon. I had her name put in the ribbon, something that I had always resisted in the past and she knew why. At the time she was actively having 2 affairs that would continue for 11 more months before my discovery. I have asked her what went through her head when I got that tattoo, she has never answered. I can just imagine she probably thought, well that proves I'm doing perfectly well at deceiving him! I can hardly stand to look at it. It's just another reminder of the long list of mistakes I've made due to being naïve and ignorant while being deceived.

ME: 60 Madhatter, 1 PA, 6 months(making out, no sexual contact), 2006. 1 sexual act with a stranger in a car - w/hands, 2010.
WW: 57 Madhatter, 25 year (1988-2013) PA, 3 separate affairs, same OM). 8 year, 2005-2013, EA with 1st boyfriend/lover

posts: 570   ·   registered: Jul. 4th, 2014   ·   location: Ohio
id 8314256
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ChewedMeUp ( member #8008) posted at 9:12 PM on Tuesday, January 15th, 2019

It's not a divorce tattoo, it's my new life tattoo - a couple of symbols from a fantasy book series that essentially mean strength and a new powerful life. I love it very much.

BS - over 40
DivorcED, finally.
2 Kids

posts: 657   ·   registered: Aug. 26th, 2005   ·   location: Baltimore, MD
id 8314349
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Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 2:28 AM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2019

I've thought about getting a small compass. I keep finding my own way, and I'm so proud of that.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

posts: 1175   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 8314491
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PlanNine ( member #46311) posted at 3:37 PM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2019

I've been thinking about getting one. The thing that keeps holding me back is the fear that it won't turn out well and I'll be stuck with something worthy of an entry on internet "worst tattoo" pictorials. I just have no idea how to properly vet tattoo artists and I don't want to be stuck with something that looks like garbage.

"I was also thinking, 'Maybe I'm not a bike racer.' I doubted myself for a while, but now I'm back on track. I may not be a bike racer, but I can beat plenty of them that reckon they are." - Guy Martin

posts: 484   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2015   ·   location: Florida
id 8314710
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