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Marz posted 8/2/2019 13:42 PM

He just sat there and stared at me for a few seconds after i got done talking and just said he was so sorry. Explained that he has kept away from hearing about everything and its still causing issues within his household.

His staying out of it means he will not go against his daughter. He's her father so you can't really expect anything else.

While he may feel bad he did nothing to help you either.

He's not your family. You'd be better off to distance yourself so you don't keep tied up in this. Over time her family will accept more probably including her other man their grandchilds father.

You don't have another good choice.

director23 posted 8/2/2019 15:06 PM

While he may feel bad he did nothing to help you either.

Agree 100%.

Marz posted 8/2/2019 15:42 PM

What's that tell you?

Your FIL is a fair weather friend at best.

You have no future in that mess.

His loyalty in the end will be with his Daughter not you.

Sorry but that's usually how it is.

Your best path is to move on thoroughly.

No hard feelings just do what's best for you and your future.

fareast posted 8/2/2019 15:45 PM

I have a good friend who has developed a relationship with his ex-FIL just as ChamomileTea described. A just guys deal. No family discussed. No drama. Just going fishing or hunting. So I have seen it done.

director23 posted 8/4/2019 11:07 AM

Well I did go to the wedding. Ended up sitting with my xww and son between us for it all, which only lasted 20 minutes. Church was full, capacity is 380, so the eyeballs were felt for sure but i looked at it all as if i got to spend additional time that day with my son; helped him get ready and spent about an hour and a half with him that I wouldn’t have been able to so i was happy about that.

After the ceremony I see the grooms dad outside and he comes over to me; i have just about as good of a relationship with him as i did xfil, and he said it was good to see me there and shook my hand. Asked if i was coming to party and i said no I don’t think i will be able to make it; he responded by saying well that’s fine, and that if i wanted to come later in the night there wouldn’t be any problem with that. I said alright and i appreciate it, said have fun and then i said bye to my son and headed home.

About 3 hours later i get a call from xww. Says she is bringing our son back to the house because he isn’t behaving and asks me if i wanted to watch him; quickly said yes and was able to end the evening by watching a movie with him and putting him to bed.

I didnt end up going and I am happy with what i choose to; i think it worked well without having any issues.

The1stWife posted 8/5/2019 14:08 PM

Class act all the way!!

skerzoid posted 8/5/2019 23:57 PM


I wanted to express my admiration of the strength you have shown through your ex-wife's betrayal.

In the heartbreak of it all, you demonstrated to many people who will come here how a man show's strength, courage, and a confidence in his own beliefs.

I can only say that you have taught us all a great lesson.

[This message edited by skerzoid at 11:09 PM, August 17th (Saturday)]

Jorge posted 8/6/2019 07:15 AM

Nice job all the way around.

Jduff posted 8/6/2019 09:10 AM

About 3 hours later i get a call from xww. Says she is bringing our son back to the house because he isn’t behaving and asks me if i wanted to watch him; quickly said yes and was able to end the evening by watching a movie with him and putting him to bed.

I totally understand your enthusiasm. Every chance I get with my boys I take it in a heartbeat. Another thing to keep in mind, do document this and all future incidents where she "gives up" as a parent and concedes the care of your son on to you. This is the gold for future custody modification argument.

Matheus posted 8/7/2019 11:02 AM

Greetings director;

I'd like to thank you - you lifted me up, you've put a smile on my face - you made me think that I can be stronger in the future.

Thank you for this (really, thank you).

Whatever I become in the future, whatever I do, I want you to know - your history and the actions you took once finding out your wife cheated are giving me high and strong standards.

That being said, director; I think you must go through your last drop of suffering.

I think the truth should come out to light regardless of feelings and that boundaries should be there always (regardless of the situation).

One of mankind greatest advantages is the passing of data - we commit mistakes, we look for solutions - and we register both.

So the next generation will have the answer straight away, so the next generation won't fall victim to the same wrongdoings of the past.

DNA-test your first-born (the kid you registered as yours).

And advise your son to DNA-test every children he thinks are his before taking any responsability for them.

What if you never found out, what if your wife made you raise another man's kid (you would leave this world without leaving a part if yourself behind).

Forever denied of your biological end.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result - please, save the next generation.

20yrsagoBS posted 8/29/2019 22:26 PM

Why doesn’t she give the baby she’s pregnant with up for adoption?

Why so attached to it? Is it because of the father of the baby?

longsadstory1952 posted 8/29/2019 22:44 PM

20. You are way behind the information curve. The baby has been delivered. They are divorced. Court has ordered that Director has no duties to child.

Whether XWW chooses to give oc up is of no concern to Director whatsoever.

He has made his choices, and most people here agree with him.

Newlifeisgreat posted 8/29/2019 23:43 PM

It has been approximately a month since Director has posted. I hope he is well on his way to “and he lived happily ever after”

LtCdrLost posted 8/30/2019 13:17 PM

It has been approximately a month since Director has posted. I hope he is well on his way to “and he lived happily ever after”

I hope the same for him. He seems like an eminently decent guy.

EllieKMAS posted 8/30/2019 21:38 PM

Wowza - I spent last night and tonight reading through both of your threads D23. It never fails to surprise me just how shitty people can be to someone they 'love' (speaking about your insane XWW, not you).

I doff my cap to you sir. Your grace under all of this pressure and your steadfast adherance to your principles are simply astounding.

I am very happy for the resolution to this craziness and wish you SO MUCH HAPPY in your future and your son's future. What a lucky kid to have such a great dad!

director23 posted 9/13/2019 09:52 AM

I hope he is well on his way to “and he lived happily ever after”

Definitely am (Finally!) Its been two weeks since I closed on my new home. My parents helped me move and my bother came a day later to help get the big stuff in. Everything has found a place and now I get to do what most guys love: Decorate....

The past two weeks have been great. The 223 schedule is working amazingly and my son has taken greatly to it. He is 2 1/2 and knows where 'daddy house' is and that there are certain things that are there which aren't at mommies. From the first night he slept through and actually sleeps past he normally would compared to when were both still living in my now xww home; I honestly believe it is because his half-brother isn't able to wake him up during the night when he needed to be fed/changed.

Xww has been distant. The night before I moved out she again wanted to 'talk.' I said talking and us is over, said I have a lot to do before moving tomorrow, and went downstairs to continue working. I listened to her sobbing in her room for a minutes then put headphones on.

She hasn't really done anything since I moved out. I think she finally gets it.

Her parents are definitely still struggling. Her mom brought me some pre-made comfort food type meals that she knows I enjoy. We had a decent conversation for about 10 minutes where she explained she is still just so sorry for everything and that she still considers me her family and that if I ever want to visit or talk to not hesitate. I've seen her dad as well and he said he is happy that the path going forward for me is now able to be seen and that he still struggles with everything every day.

I've had a few people ask me about looking for someone/something new. I've thought about it. In all honestly I feel like I've been close to making the plunge for awhile, but I personally really want to just get comfortable with my new living situation and schedule before doing anything crazy.

Exciting times.

Tigersrule77 posted 9/13/2019 10:22 AM

Congratulations on the new home. Glad your son is happy and doing well.

you will know when you are ready to date again. Personally, I enjoy the freedom. I would like to find someone, but it would be a tough adjustment to be married again. Have to share my closet and dresser?

Take your time and relax.

WornDown posted 9/13/2019 10:22 AM

Good to hear.

Since the in-laws seem to be decent, it probably wouldn't hurt to stay on good terms with them since you have kids - their grandkids.

ramius posted 9/13/2019 10:37 AM

Great update.

After reading about what passes for “reconciliation” these days, it is nice to see someone who actually gets out of the misery cycle and has a better future on the horizon.

Well done.

NoOptTo posted 9/13/2019 18:59 PM

Glad to see your doing well Director. Enjoy your new home. Create memories with your son. Start new traditions with him to do every year. Be the best dad you can be. Dont worry about finding someone new. Enjoy creating your space with your son for awhile. Onward n upward.

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