I know this will be a tough day for you, as you have that meeting with the principal. What I am writing here is not being written harshly, but to spur your thinking.
I love my husband. I am in love with my husband. I care for my husband...It may not have been "perfect," but I loved our marriage...We have spent half of our life together. We had disagreements, never real fights. We had love. We had laughter. We had sadness. We had lots of growing up. We had dry spells. We had amazing times...Then I had an affair. I don't know what the point of any of this was.
This is the time for discovering your why's.
For discovering what gaps in your life you thought the affair was filling. What rewards did you got from it that you felt you were not getting from other parts of your life, including your marriage.
Why you felt entitled to do it. Whether that entitlement was based on resentments within the marriage.
Why you never stopped to consider where the affair was going, but simply went along for the ride, without thinking about where or how it would stop.
Why it never occurred to you that your affair partner was just an exploitative con artist. That his flattery was not sincere, but simply bait.
Was his fake interest, flattery, and pretense of having similar interests so intoxicating that you started living life in the emotional equivalent of a drunken stupor?
Why was the bullsh*t he was peddling so effective on you? Why were there no barriers there to protect yourself, your husband, and your marriage?
Did he flatter your vanity? Did he praise your intelligence while he strung you along and laid a trail of breadcrumbs that led to his bedroom?
Did he become an enthusiastic worshiper, thereby giving you the rush you get from performing and pleasing people?
And how can you control the need for that rush so that you will not be vulnerable to the next opportunist who sees how you respond to that kind of attention.
If you cannot get a handle on that part of yourself, you may end up being a puppet for a series of men who just want to use you. I think you deserve a better future than that, but only you can prevent it, by recognising what made you a vulnerable open door for your affair partner.
How did you let your husband vanish from your care and your emotional radar?
Why did you ignore him when he fired obvious distress flares and tried to talk to you? Did you think he deserved it, because of any history or past actions? Why did he stop mattering to you?
Can you see how your desire to control the narrative by minimising, hiding evidence, or outright lying has backfired and ruined your credibility? Do you think you can change and become more honest with people, and with yourself?
Do you think that if you get back with your husband, the marriage will give you what you need to prevent you from having more affairs? It is vital to be honest with yourself about that, because reconciling and having another affair is not going to do you or your husband any good. Do not kid yourself about that.
These are all things for you to figure out.
I never got the help that I know I needed.
I hope you will get it now, in the form of counseling and honest self-examination.
And I hope the meeting with the principal enables you to achieve the move that you feel will be best for you and your daughter.
Positive change is possible if you commit to it. Work out who you want to be, and do all you can to become that person.