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MalibuBayBreeze (original poster member #52124) posted at 5:39 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2019
Jesusismyanchor
No I don't believe they ever outgrow it. Yay for us right? I guess it's just all intertwined. Their FOO issues are what contributes to them becoming narcissistic so it stands to reason there would be a strong connection. The attention never received. The praise. The affection. All helping to stunt their growth and maturity.
A perpetual petulant inner child exists within them complete with tantrums.
A man or woman telling the truth doesn't mind being questioned.
A liar does.
Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 6:26 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2019
I read that people(especially men) go bonkers in midlife if they hate their jobs, or they are swimming in debt. It is more about running away from pain. Men who cheat and leave for the OW are not necessarily in a crisis. They have just reconnected with an old love, or found a coworker. The women I know who cheated all had exit affairs. They said their husbands were nice guys but they had never felt deep love for them. There must be something hormonal in the 40s. I know a ton of people that age cheating and getting divorced.
Peter Pans don’t want to grow up and narcissists don’t know how. That part of their brain is wacky.
When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis
kickedintheknads ( member #70102) posted at 1:16 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2019
I read in one of the threads here concerning narcs. "Narcs don't have relationships. They have assets".
No truer words were ever spoken. We exist to service the Narc's needs. We are a commodity to be used and discarded as needed. There is no cure. If you are with a Narc, the best thing you can do is get away from them before they drive you insane.
Me:62
WW:46
D Day: 03/10/19
cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 1:16 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2019
Interesting perspective. I take inventory of my life a lot. I don't think I am having or ever had a midlife crisis. It's healthy to take inventory. It is not healthy to lose your shit, go off the deep end, and start doing all kinds of wacked out shit.
What you are describing is more of a midlife transition.
Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life
AbandonedGuy ( member #66456) posted at 5:33 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2019
Don't know about PPS, but I know several people, men and women alike, entering into a sort of midlife crisis. It seems like just another normal step in the human lifespan, but it manifests in a lot of different ways. Cheating is just one coping mechanism that people latch onto to deal. I know so many people who either haven't cheated YET but are thinking about it, whether being approached and letting that mess with their head or just fantasizing, or who have cheated and gone on with their unhappy lives. I also know a lot of people who haven't cheated but who are still in a weird midlife funk. Everyone has their own flavor of quiet desperation, I guess...
EmancipatedFella, formerly AbandonedGuy
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 7:50 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2019
My WS is Peter Pan's twin brother 
Yes mine is a man-child to the tilt with a personality disorder to back it up.
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
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