SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I also have to say -- and hope I'm not overstepping my bounds -- but if my wife did this strutting around the house in negligee routine after sleeping around with a bunch of other men, I'd view it as pretty slutty behavior and it would disgust me.

As a man, of course it would "provoke" me with lust, but I'd also be simultaneously turned off and view her as a dirty pirate hooker.

You may want to consult with your attorney to see if there would be any legal ramifications of having sex with your WW such as it being deemed a forgiveness of her affairs or a resetting of a clock where divorce is based on separation of some length of time. Your WW may have already been advised by her attorney in this regard.

I was wondering, When she was going to make her move and try to put you in a "P" Coma! This is a classic move, As others have said stick to you guns she is desperate

When cheaters get caught the go into damage control mode. Its like having 3 channels on the tv.

Pity channel.....that was the other night with her tears.

Sex channel......this weekend with the panties.

Soon you may see the third channel....

Threats channel......I will kill myself, I will fight you for x y and z. Etc.

Ahhh, yes, the magical cooch... Frankly, I’m a little surprised she didn’t try this sooner. As others have said, a roll in the hay could have legal implications. So, if you are even considering it, check with your lawyer first.

Thumos

I also have to say -- and hope I'm not overstepping my bounds -- but if my wife did this strutting around the house in negligee routine after sleeping around with a bunch of other men, I'd view it as pretty slutty behavior and it would disgust me.

As a man, of course it would "provoke" me with lust, but I'd also be simultaneously turned off and view her as a dirty pirate hooker.

This is exactly the way it made me feel. I had the urge to bend her over the counter, but then I knew I would loathe myself afterwards, and no amount of showering could wash the guilt off.

Alonelyagain

You may want to consult with your attorney to see if there would be any legal ramifications of having sex with your WW such as it being deemed a forgiveness of her affairs or a resetting of a clock where divorce is based on separation of some length of time. Your WW may have already been advised by her attorney in this regard.

My attorney is a tough-ass lady. If she found out I had sex with my WW she would let me have it with both barrels. She warned me about it and told me under no circumstance to have sex with the woman.

ramius

When cheaters get caught the go into damage control mode. Its like having 3 channels on the tv.

Pity channel.....that was the other night with her tears.

Sex channel......this weekend with the panties.

Soon you may see the third channel....

Threats channel......I will kill myself, I will fight you for x y and z. Etc.

That last one worries me.

By the way last night I took my younger daughter to see my townhouse. She loves her room. It is much bigger than her room here at the house and she has more privacy. So on this front I won a small battle. I was worried she would hate it.

The managers are having new carpet installed and they may even arrange for me to start moving my stuff in a few days early.

Time to hit IKEA I guess.

Must have !!!!!

Massaging, vibrating recliner with a beer holder. I'd opt for Leather!!!!!

So the holidays will suck of course. This Thanksgiving we spend at my parent's place. My mom and dad are civil people. I don't expect any issues with them but my WW told me yesterday that she was sad this would be the last time she got to have turkey day with them. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. I mean, what do I say to that? It's like every other word out of her mouth is some platitude of regret. It pisses me off.

Christmas is with her family, and I may just slit my wrists and jump into the river before that. When I think of having to spend Christmas under the scrutinizing, judgmental gaze of those infantile goombahs I want to puke. It's going to suck bad. Any tips?

Marz

Must have !!!!!

Massaging, vibrating recliner with a beer holder. I'd opt for Leather!!!!!

That has potential. I like the way you think.

Christmas is with her family, and I may just slit my wrists and jump into the river before that. When I think of having to spend Christmas under the scrutinizing, judgmental gaze of those infantile goombahs I want to puke. It's going to suck bad. Any tips?

After what she's done I'm surprised she would still want to face your parents and have dinner with them, do they know the whole truth ? OTH why would you want to go spend Christmas with Vito Corleone and the whole gang, it could backfire, blood is thicker than water, it makes you uncomfortable and with good reason, I would simply excuse myself and not show up.

[This message edited by Buster123 at 5:57 PM, November 25th (Monday)]

Westray - perhaps invite one of her APs to attend Christmas dinner in your place?

That might start some fireworks!

Christmas is with her family, and I may just slit my wrists and jump into the river before that. When I think of having to spend Christmas under the scrutinizing, judgmental gaze of those infantile goombahs I want to puke. It's going to suck bad. Any tips?

My only tip would be why do you feel obligated to do this? Part of the consequence of her actions is you don't feel obligated to go through the motions with her. Go to San Diego or somewhere warm for Christmas on your own. Take a friend.

So the holidays will suck of course. This Thanksgiving we spend at my parent's place. My mom and dad are civil people. I don't expect any issues with them but my WW told me yesterday that she was sad this would be the last time she got to have turkey day with them.

Look man under the circumstances I would do the holidays separate. Why put yourself through that????

Let her go to her parents for thanksgiving. You go to yours for Christmas. Let the kids follow tradition. Or let them split the days with you and her.

I would not put myself through that. Real bad idea.

Christmas is a month away. Don’t worry about it, Or as

Your soon to be former in-laws might say, “Faa-get. Abou it!”

Seriously, might be best for you and the kids if you became sick in the early afternoon and didn’t go over

Good luck.

May I suggest that you tell your STBXWW that she is not invited to your parents house for Thanksgiving. Let her start seeing her reality of her actions now. Why put your family in an awkward situation of having to stay civil and friendly with the woman that destroyed their son's marriage.

I also agree with the others saying, you don't have to go to your inlaws for Christmas. Spend the time with your family. Use your support system. Celebrate with the ones that love you. Your kids can go with whom ever they choose. Be supportive of their decisions what ever they choose. If they choose you for Christmas, oh well, it's another consequence that your STBXWW has to deal with through her selfish actions that are resulting in the splitting of your family.

I agree regarding the holidays. The cats out of the bag ... your girls/both in-laws know the marriage is ending - it's uncomfortable/awkward for all involved pretending it's like Christmas past. It is what it is, why wait 'til next year to go your own ways ?

So my WW isn't going to Thanksgiving. We just talked. She's going to her girlfriend's instead.

I should be relieved but I'm not. I feel gutted and sad and torn up. This isn't how life was supposed to be. We were supposed to go through life as a couple, a united front, stuck together until one of us died. Now I have to tell the girls.

It is going to be rough without her at Thanksgiving however the year of firsts has been kick started with her decision. Please try to make it a positive experience for your kids. This is their new normal too.

First holidays apart have a way of symbolizing all that has been lost in a powerful and concrete way. I am sorry for your pain.

My best advice is to add something new to the celebration: a game to play together; hauling out family heirlooms to learn all their stories; taking a moonlight walk together; asking your folks to tell the story of their meeting and courtship, or tell you about their own grandparents. Start some new traditions! I promise it will help.

[This message edited by Odonna at 3:21 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)]