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KingofNothing ( member #71775) posted at 10:35 PM on Monday, March 23rd, 2020
More time for her extra curricular activities. She didn’t seem too concerned about infection before....why should she now?
Come on, Ramius! Even Ex Mrs. Westway needs to practice social distancing in this time of crisis.
Rex Nihilo, the King of Nothing
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“If you’re going through hell, keep going. Just please stop screaming, it’s not good for morale.”
— Winston Churchill
BS 3 DDays/Attempted R, it failed. In a better place
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 10:43 PM on Monday, March 23rd, 2020
There is no infections in unicorn land. It’s all good
Newlifeisgreat ( member #71308) posted at 10:46 PM on Monday, March 23rd, 2020
Aww.
Poor Muffin!!
She must feel betrayed! Abandoned! As if no one cares for her!!!
Have fun with the girls
[This message edited by Newlifeisgreat at 4:49 PM, March 23rd (Monday)]
Betrayed Spouse. She cheated and I filed immediately upon discovering. She never even suspected that I knew until the moment she was served with reason being Adultery. Divorced: Sept, 2018. VERY happy with new life, 0 regrets
Westway (original poster member #71747) posted at 10:51 PM on Monday, March 23rd, 2020
Conventional friends or the kind she's been entertaining for a decade?
She wouldn't bring any bruthas home to her house. The neighbors would snitch on her faster than stink, and she is always trying to keep up appearances. Only the white sucker she cons in to replacing me will be allowed there.
Me: 52;
XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater
Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.
Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 12:34 PM on Tuesday, March 24th, 2020
How great to have both daughters staying at your abode!
Spoil the shit out of them, dad and daughter stuff.
Poor stbxw, well; can go plat her poop 💩.
Take care with the virus, don’t let the girls over worry about it.
One day at a time
Buffer
Westway (original poster member #71747) posted at 4:03 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
Question for all. Let me run this by you.
So my STBXWW called me this morning for the first time in a couple weeks. Her mom invited our priest over for a lunch at the in-laws' house on Saturday and her mom wants me and the girls to come. Since my WW and I are both observant Catholics, it is her mom's opinion that my WW are husband and wife until the church annulment goes through, which won't happen until after the legal divorce is finalized.
So, I'm supposed to act like I'm still her husband. I am NOT her husband anymore. Not in my mind or my heart. I am moving on with my life, and I even have a gal I'm sleeping with occasionally (privately and discreetly of course). But I have to do this fake play-acting like she and I are these pious, upstanding people. Its all b.s. My first instinct is to call my priest and let him know that I will not be going to that luncheon. But I know that is just going to piss of the MIL even more and give her family more ammo to go after my rep.
So what should I do? Suck it up and play nice and just go, or tell the priest I won't be there? He knows the WHOLE story. He knows how much I know about my WW's cheating. My STBXWW doesn't even know how much I know about her whoring.
Me: 52;
XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater
Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 4:11 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
Dup
[This message edited by Marz at 10:14 AM, April 9th (Thursday)]
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 4:13 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
I wouldn’t go. Never live your life for others especially in this situation. It won’t get you a thing.
No matter what you do you’ll never satisfy them and they aren’t your family anymore.
Good time to practice ignoring the xmil.
fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 4:28 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
This is a great opportunity to practice social distancing. Does your MIL understand we are in the midst of a pandemic. Call your priest and politely decline. You have the perfect excuse. He would understand anyway. Your in-laws will keep trying to drag you back in. You are not in the family any more.
Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.
eehamlet ( member #72874) posted at 4:34 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
Question for all. Let me run this by you.
Do not go. Why should you. Tell MIL that with the pandemic it does not make sense. Cough into the phone if necessary. You owe you STBX nothing.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 4:36 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
Forward that invitation to one of her sex buddies. She replaced you with them so it’d be great to see one show up
Unannounced would be best. Do they like surprises?
cannotforgive ( member #43367) posted at 4:37 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
Following on government's social distancing guidelines, you are avoiding any gatherings that might compromise your health or the health of your elderly inlaws.
You do not want mamma and papa'being unwell at their age...
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 4:40 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
Meh, I wouldn’t use anything as an excuse other than the facts.
Butforthegrace ( member #63264) posted at 4:46 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
Her mom invited our priest over for a lunch at the in-laws' house on Saturday and her mom wants me and the girls to come.
Hell to the naw. Do you know how many people priests come into close contact with daily? They're walking, rosary-rubbing, bible-thumping virus vectors. I cannot fathom how your MIL would even consider, for a millisecond, putting your daughters within six degrees of a man of the cloth during ramp up to the peak of the Covid-19 curve.
As your MIL how much she desires to see your daughters dead, because that lunch is an invitation to viral transmission.
"The wicked man flees when no one chases."
Thanksgiving2016 ( member #63462) posted at 4:53 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
She wasn’t worried about what it he priest and her mom thought while she was cheating. Why put up appearances now that you’re divorced. No way. And if the priest doesn’t know about the divorce update him now. If you haven’t seen him since the divorce let her tell him just be aware it will be her version.
Stinger ( member #74090) posted at 5:05 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
I've read your posts. I am surprised you would even consider this.
Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 5:13 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
The word "NO" is still an whole sentence, so that's really all you need, a simple "NO" (you might want to add the word "thanks"), if they ask why, simply tell them you don't want to be part of it or any of their social gatherings now or in the future, if they insist, simply hang up the phone (that usually does the trick).
Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 5:14 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
I've read your posts. I am surprised you would even consider this.
I was very surprised as well.
Westway (original poster member #71747) posted at 5:21 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
I consider everything. I just don't always do it. I'm definitely not going. Just got off the phone with my priest and he understands. I just wanted to get your opinions and to vent a little at the audacity of the whole thing.
I would think these Italians would love to hurry up to get rid of their Irish son in law.
Me: 52;
XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater
Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.
DoinBettr ( member #71209) posted at 5:23 PM on Thursday, April 9th, 2020
You should ask your daughters if they would want you there would be my advice.
They supported you during this insanity. So give them a little control from your side.
If the girls are going, you will be exposed to them anyways. Same as the priest.
If you do go, go on your terms. If they start to make this awkward, simply state they are making things awkward. Be open and upfront, not fake.
Setup what will draw the lines for you to just leave. If they cross the line, mention it with 1 warning, then leave if they don't respect your boundaries.
The in laws will be in your life going forward, so you might as well setup the high road you will be taking and setting the tempo. Currently you are still justified to be a little pissy (stand your ground to them).
If you give it a year, then go to one of these, then get pissy, they will crucify you more easily. If you do it now, you can come to a future event and mention things were still fresh and you were pushing yourself for the family.
Just stating how my brother's ex-wife did it. She came to the family dinner, stated if we talked about them getting back together she was leaving. After dinner, my mom couldn't respect that boundary and XSIL was going to bolt. My other brother and I said we wanted to move the dinner to my house and leave our mom at hers. She came with us bringing their son, we talked it out and she later would work through us to get things through smoothly. My older brother is an idiot and deserved the divorce.
Good luck. Your in-laws suck according to you. You may need to be on good behavior with family events in the future for the girls. Weddings, graduations, birthday parties, ...
Setting the groundwork might be a good idea. Plus as I stated, you have the upper hand currently. It is like a woman stating she hormones as her reason for a crappy attitude. People just have to accept it. Later that will be tougher.
So see if the daughters want you to go. It may change your perspective.
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