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Please tell me that was not an intentional pun about “the dark side”

Heh heh! See what I did there?

WW,

Do you have any plans, say after the divorce is final, to let her know that you know so much more about the cheating then she believes you do?

Yes. I plan on delivering her a copy of the dossier from the P.I., with all the evidence. I'm going to tell her if I ever get wind that she is disparaging or lying about me me in front of the girls, her family or the public, a copy will be sent to everyone in the family and all our close friends. She can give people whatever bullshit excuse for the ending of the marriage she wants, as long as she doesn't point the blame at me.

And I will do it. I have already told her this, but she only thinks I know about three of the OMs, and that maybe I suspect more, but she doesn't know I have proof of twelve.

[This message edited by Westway at 4:23 PM, May 1st (Friday)]

Yes. I plan on delivering her a copy of the dossier from the P.I., with all the evidence. I'm going to tell her if I ever get wind that she is disparaging or lying about me me in front of the girls, her family or the public, a copy will be sent to everyone in the family and all our close friends. She can give people whatever bullshit excuse for the ending of the marriage she wants, as long as she doesn't point the blame at me.

I don't know dude, I don't think you should put the evidence in her hand.

Maybe be a little sneaky, catch up with her to "discuss some important matters" and show it to her.

Don't give her anything but knowledge that she is a .... I won't say it, and that you can drop that knowledge on everyone she knows whenever you please!

I agree with faithful man. Maybe just give her a list of the 12 names and promise to share all the details if......

Why so?

why so?

because threats never work.

it always backfires when you warn someone about the ace up

your sleeve. it gives them the opportunity to do damage control.

the first one that speaks is usually believed.

this is why you should do a full exposure on your WW and her

12 OM. nothing to gain by sitting on this information.

Actually I believe fear of the unknown is much worse than fear of the known. You can be certain that she has done far worse with each of the 12 than what you have.

You could give her the 12 names and a portion of the proof on each one. Then tell her you have held back in reserve some proof on each of them but will release it all if she decides to violate your conditions.

Why so?

It shows too much of your hand and gives her a chance to set up her defenses. (She doesn't seem that swift, but still, vengeance and everything)

And certainly putting it in her hands doesn't help you in any way. ask yourself:

- Why give it to her?

- How does that help Westway?

But a bit of knife twisting? I am all for that.

"Listen up, I have proof, PROOF on paper that you fucked more than 10 black men outside of our marriage, so don't give me any fucking problems ever again, you understand?"

And then show her one person from the dossier that is somebody she didn't know you knew about. Maybe one of the early ones.

Then walk away.

She'll be so terrified she'll be cleaning the piss off her chair after that.

[This message edited by faithfulman at 8:01 PM, May 1st (Friday)]

She knows there is no way she can ever come back from the dark side. LOL!

Laughing hard. Dude, sometimes.. you just nail it.

For what it's worth, I'm in the "never tell them HOW you know what you know" camp. I would just maybe have a calm discussion at the end of all this, once the ink is dry, on neutral ground. Tell her that you know of more than 3 guys, that her paper trail extends back a decade, and if she ever wants to test that you have proof about that, she can feel free to slag you in public or lie to friends and family-- then everyone will know what only the two of you know. Mention you've been a gentleman about it because until this divorce decree was signed, she was still your wife and you don't want her harmed out of spite. So you really, really REALLY expect the same courtesy, or you will both revisit this conversation, and next time it won't go so well. In that icily polite Westway way.. She'll get the message.

Just look her straight in the eye when you say it. Then of course, get up and leave. I don't think you'll ever have anything to worry about. Giving her the paper copies when you don't HAVE to robs you of leverage and allows her to know what you know. I like to keep people guessing about what advantages I carry in my hand.

[This message edited by KingofNothing at 11:49 PM, May 1st (Friday)]

I would second the concept that the implied threat is more powerful than showing your hand. I can well understand that you may not want to lose control of the information as presumably there are some details your kids aware of?

Brother, sad to see that STBXWW is not coping with the pending D. No one to blame but herself.

Do what is right by you regarding your plethora of information pertaining to her 12 men.

Strength and Respect ✊

One day at a time

Buffer

“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

As complete and devastating as the dossier is, her imagination is more so. Like a good horror film that makes you wonder what is behind the door. Give her a small thimble of information. Subtly imply there is more. And calmly walk away. Her mental hamster will run on the wheel for years.

The WW must be back to playing the field. According to a little birdy I have feeding me info, she stayed gone from her house all weekend, and when she dragged herself out of the car to the front door last night she looked haggard and exhausted, like she had run a marathon. Well, she is not an athlete nor does she usually engage in strenuous activities, so she must have been exerting herself in some other way.

I knew she couldn't stay away from her fix for long.

You either laugh about this shit or eat a bullet, ya know?

I knew she couldn't stay away from her fix for long.

I could have seen that one coming. There's a joke there, but I'm a gentleman, so they say.

I can't help but wonder how many weekends were like this when you were away on business. Ouch. Who was babysitting?

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

Looks like she found her source of comfort after the awkward meeting last week.

Try to suppress your laughter and wish her a happy life.

You being the bigger person will drive her crazy!

[This message edited by Newlifeisgreat at 12:13 PM, May 4th (Monday)]

My 2 cents...there’s likely little happiness in the life that she’s leading so just pity her and leave it at that. No need to mention the extra evidence you have, it serves no purpose to even mention it other than ego. Keep it to yourself, but do keep it in case she comes after you for something else at a later date, at which time you can reevaluate.

She’ll probably start losing weight now that she’s no longer feeding on cake

She’ll probably start losing weight now that she’s no longer feeding on cake

Maybe. Her jaw muscles will probably get more defined.

I shouldn't joke about my WW's promiscuity should I? I'll probably get kicked off the site.