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New Beginnings :
What would you have done?

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 Incarnate (original poster member #46085) posted at 1:21 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

I feel like kind of a coward, but I don't know what I should have done differently, if anything.

I went through McDonald's drive thru after my counseling session, because, well, I was hungry and my stress level was high, so I figured I'd eat, level out my blood sugar, and go home. As I was paying, the girl in the window asked me if I had come through earlier that week, and I said yes.

She said she remembered my bracelets, and that they were really cool. I said thank you and told her I made them, and she got really excited, said that she used to do viking re-enactment at renfests, and I told her I did too, as well as forging and chainmaille in general, and she got even more excited. She obviously wanted to talk more, and so did I; she was super cute, excitable, and interested, but there were cars in line behind me and I didn't want her to get in trouble, so I said goodbye, got my burger, and parked to eat it.

I kept thinking, I should drive back through, get a soda or something, and give her my number, and say if she wanted to talk more, I would be happy to. Even if nothing came of it, no big deal, but if something DID come of it, cool. But instead I ate my burger by myself, sitting in my car, listening to black sabbath, then drove home regretting it the whole way.

On the one hand, she's a woman at work, and it's bad form to hit on a woman at work. She's being nice because she is at work and she has to be, not necessarily because she's interested.

On the other hand, she seemed really interested.

But my picker is broken, so wtf do I even know?

Me: BH
She: EW
Divorce in progress
DD1: 11/29/14
DD2: 8/14/19

What a wicked game we play.

posts: 768   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2014   ·   location: Northern California
id 8477355
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Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 2:09 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Go back next week at one of the times you’ve seen her and give her your number.

Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again

Staying together for the kids

D-day 2010

posts: 6490   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 8477374
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 2:19 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Get her a starbucks and write your number on the cup and hand it to her when you get to the window.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3921   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8477383
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 2:48 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Definitely go back and connect with her! Then let her make the next move.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8477402
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Phantasmagoria ( member #49567) posted at 3:34 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

My vote is to check out what’s going on at Burger King and Wendy’s before going back!

[This message edited by Phantasmagoria at 9:35 PM, December 4th (Wednesday)]

posts: 474   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2015
id 8477426
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 3:49 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

You have a card for your work? Maybe hand it to her AND ask if she would like to get a Starbucks after work or something?

I have a bit different view of the world but I choose not to call men who hand me their card (minimal effort). I prefer a man who knows what he wants and make an effort to pursue me.

My guess is that you have a lot to offer the right loyal woman so it would not hurt to remind yourself of that before u ask!

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1954   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8477434
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 3:52 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

You have a card for your work? Maybe hand it to her AND ask if she would like to get a Starbucks after work or something?

[I have a bit different view of the world but I choose not to call men who hand me their card (minimal effort). I prefer a man who knows what he wants and makes an effort to pursue me...]

My guess is that you have a lot to offer the right loyal woman, so it would not hurt to remind yourself of that before u ask if she would like to get a coffee!

PS life is pretty marvelous on the other side of infidelity

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1954   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8477437
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Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 6:54 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Do you look at her name tag ? if so just google the McDonald's location, call and ask for her and give her your number and/or ask her out. If she refuses at least you avoided having to face the rejection in person.

posts: 2738   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2018
id 8477486
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 12:48 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Incarnate how cool is that!

Go back. They have [at least in my area] any size fountain drink for $1. Go get one. Keep the conversation alive. You two have something in common. If, after a few times, you are still feeling it - go for it!

Ask her for coffee after work one day. Take it from there.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 4028   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8477549
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barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 4:51 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Definitely go back and make a move.

To be honest, most adult women recognize the enormous amount of courage that it takes to ask someone out on a date.

I have a friend (no longer in touch) who literally got asked on a date by a guy that she barely knew and who she did not find him physically attractive. She said "yes" simply because she was impressed by his show of courage in asking her out.

The last time that I spoke to her, they were engaged... so you never know.

[This message edited by barcher144 at 10:51 AM, December 7th (Saturday)]

Me: Crap, I'm 50 years old. D-Day: August 30, 2016. Two years of false reconciliation. Divorce final: Feb 1, 2021. Re-married: December 3, 2022.

posts: 5421   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8478893
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Tryin2letITgo ( new member #72271) posted at 8:22 PM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2019

PS life is pretty marvelous on the other side of infidelity

Thank you for that.

OP, I think you need to go back and tell her your name, that you've been thinking about her and give her your number. Not in your car. GL if you already have.

posts: 1   ·   registered: Dec. 10th, 2019   ·   location: Ottawa
id 8480332
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