SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

He showed you exactly who he is yesterday.

Believe him.

Your response unfortunately is "You missed the deadline. My attorney will be in touch with next steps."

His visit over the weekend was to butter you up and remind you of how wonderful things can be.....so that you won't enforce a consequence for his actions or lack thereof. He is a chickenshit and a manipulator.

Time with him created some bonding and I'm guessing sex was involved to increase confusion and emotional attachment. Sister you are strong and smart and capable. Draw your line in the sand and stick to it. Either dont respond to his text or send the one I recommended. He will then realize that you might actually mean business. Then stay the course regardless of how actions. See the attorney start the paperwork implement the 180 and remember the phrase FTG (Fuck that guy). When he texts say it to yourself. Say it out loud. Scream it from the rooftop. Do whatever you have to to make you the priority and protect yourself.

tushnurse: You were wrong in that there was no sex. No touching at all. I would never allow him to touch me after what he's done with the OW.

That's good. But know that he is showing you exactly who he is.

Enforce your boundaries LL. This is where it gets really difficult.

My xwh became the man I always thought he was once I filed. He carried the heavy load for years while we tried to R. But I could not survive infidelity.

Your ws has not even begun to do the hard work. The fact that he did not show up to the appointment, tells you exactly what he thinks of your need for safety.

I’m so sorry.

LL,

I teared up reading your last post. My WH missed the “key” MC appointment. He just couldn’t face the music, and true to his super shitty coping, he avoided. Just like yours. Unfortunately, or in retrospect perhaps fortunately, he really was showing me who he was/is.

I am so sorry your WH does not have the strength and balls to do what R takes. And it really hurts. But you will get through it. And you will thrive. Keep moving forward. Let go of the outcome. Let the chips fall where they may once you’ve protected yourself.

You are a strong badass woman. You are going to be just fine.

Thank you everyone. You are all correct in that he showed me who he really is this week. And you are right, in that this is the really hard part. Following through is hard, but I have no other choice now. I made an appointment with a lawyer for Saturday and like it or not, I have to keep moving in that direction. I am just so heartbroken that this man, who literally got down on his knees and begged me to marry him, now is treating me this way. It is too much to wrap my head around and too much to try to understand.

Hi LL

I am sorry for what you have gone through. As I read through your posts, I realized how much I understood your experience, we have some similarities.

Your husband hasn’t come back to reality yet. I think your choice to see a lawyer is the best thing you can do for you.

You are a strong woman.

Hugs

Thanks Tallgirl. I'm not sure he will ever come back to reality. I am going to the lawyer in an hour. I am very nervous and very sad today.

I hope your appt with your lawyer goes well.

Knowledge is power . I’m so sorry he didn’t do the bare minimum to even try to R.