SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I hope he came to amends with his BS before this tragedy. Truly a sad story.

My understanding is his cheating was many years ago and they reconciled and continued adding children to their family—not that the length of time makes it ok but I would like to assume they were in a good place if they kept having kids. May he RIP and may his widow have comfort someday.

The saddest part is that their 13 year old daughter also died in the crash.

I assume, as DF does, that they had reconciled. But to lose your husband and daughter in the same day, I can't imagine that pain.

The wife filed for divorce but ultimately they reconciled with divorce. It's a sad day for all concerned.

A very sharp criminal defense attorney and I viewed carefully all the evidence made public. He, as a defense attorney, concluded that he had a 99+% chance of being convicted.

Serial cheater

Rapist

Rather than retiring in shame after buying his victim off (I believe reading it was close to $12 million) and there by avoiding prison, he became the smiling face of the NBA.

Rot in hell, Kobe.

The first thing that came to mind upon hearing of his death from my WS was his affair scandal. I told him it was karma. I totally forgot he also was accused of rape and his defense team victim blamed and dragged her through the mud before the charges were dropped.

People keep calling him a class act and legend. Reminds you how easily forgiven celebrities are. I can only hope he reached true reconciliation with his wife and that he changed his ways and went onto treat her well and learn and grow from his mistakes. But after reading more about him it doesn’t sound like that’s the case and he had many more affairs after the 2003 alleged rape and she went as far as to file for divorce in 2011.

I feel for his 13 year old daughter who lost her life first and his other daughters who lost their father. Then I feel for his wife. She had to go through a public affair scandal and now to loose her daughter and husband is truly heartbreaking. She’s had to go through a lot.

[This message edited by PearlyBaker at 5:57 PM, January 26th (Sunday)]

"First, I want to apologize directly to the young woman involved in this incident. I want to apologize to her for my behavior that night and for the consequences she has suffered in the past year. Although this year has been incredibly difficult for me personally, I can only imagine the pain she has had to endure. I also want to apologize to her parents and family members, and to my family and friends and supporters, and to the citizens of Eagle, Colorado. I also want to make it clear that I do not question the motives of this young woman. No money has been paid to this woman. She has agreed that this statement will not be used against me in the civil case. Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognize now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way I did. After months of reviewing discovery, listening to her attorney, and even her testimony in person, I now understand how she feels that she did not consent to this encounter. I issue this statement today fully aware that while one part of this case ends today, another remains. I understand that the civil case against me will go forward. That part of this case will be decided by and between the parties directly involved in the incident and will no longer be a financial or emotional drain on the citizens of the state of Colorado." -Kobe Bryant

[This message edited by ibonnie at 5:53 PM, January 26th (Sunday)]

I was not a BS when the story of Kobe’s rape accusations and infidelity confessions were surfacing. I was aware of his name and sport but that’s it. I stopped in here earlier today and read the comments. Then I spent some time researching this. Holy crap. I’m not a judge or jury but most likely he got it dismissed because ten young lady had other activities with another partner a day or two before this encounter with Kobe.

During the police interview he admitted to having a regular side piece. I’m going to spare the details on case there are some raw BS in here but he was 27 at this time and so his wife was either pregnant or became so shortly thereafter with the precious angel that died beside him today. So tragic. They went on to have two more daughters.

Warning: any BS who is raw and triggering today should be careful if you look into this story. It’s enough to send anyone reeling.

A very sharp criminal defense attorney and I viewed carefully all the evidence made public. He, as a defense attorney, concluded that he had a 99+% chance of being convicted.

Serial cheater

Rapist

Rather than retiring in shame after buying his victim off (I believe reading it was close to $12 million) and there by avoiding prison, he became the smiling face of the NBA.

Rot in hell, Kobe.

Wow.

My son came in with the news this afternoon. It was shocking (as any tragedy like this is) and I immediately thought of his wife.

I am a San Antonio Spurs fan. As such, I did not like Kobe the player (or his ego). After the rape allegations, I soured on Kobe as a man. I found it frustrating that so many people swept that under the rug. (Even the cOWhore AP who is a self proclaimed champion of women’s rights, posted a pic of meeting Kobe at a conference right after DDay 1 - and I thought it figured, one fake person fawning over another).

All that to say, I am sad for the loss of life. Beyond the other 7 people in that helicopter who will be missed tremendously, one woman lost her husband and her daughter in an instant. The devastation is unimaginable.

Regardless of what we think of the man, he did have 3 other kids (2 who are very small, 3 and under 1) and a wife (among others) who have lost him. It’s them I feel for the most. He did some awful things and will have to answer to God for that. I will say though, that as much as I did not like him, he seems to have been a devoted father. And tried to redeem himself in a variety of ways.

It has also made me grateful that my dumbass husband is still here. Even if he destroyed me, I am glad he’s alive. And that my kids have their dad who loves them.

[This message edited by TX1995 at 7:38 PM, January 26th (Sunday)]

Ahh, the cult of celebrity. From those who, I'm going to guess, have not dealt with that segment of society before (which I would say is really two distinct but similar groups, famous and rich). I'm going to go out there and say that, by and large, until you've seen it, you simply cannot imagine it for yourself. There are books about it in lots of areas, written by sports stars or suddenly rich people as an expose type piece, and, honestly, from personal experience, those are still a bit "tame" from the reality of it.

The saying "absolute power corrupts absolutely" is very much on display when dealing with this group of society. No, it's not everyone, there are exceptions, but those exceptions are not at all the rule (which is what I think that most people believe). You look at the tabloid rags and you see "famous person X cheated on famous person Y" and get all up in arms without realizing that this could very well be AP number 50 for BOTH people. It's just such a different world, and I've only see the periphery of it, knowing some very wealthy and powerful (and some "local famous") people.

So, when I see things like "Oh my, he was such a good person", my eyebrows go way up. Measured by what standard? Given the topic of this board, I kind of think that "fidelity" is the standard that many of us are talking about, and, if that's in fact what you're saying, let me stop you right there; the answer is almost certainly "No". Just "no". Now, if it's other standards, yeah, some of these people do wonderful things, give back to communities, provide very nice lives for their children, inspire others (although, in the case of sports, I think that probably does more overall harm than good) and make big changes to our world thought their contributions. Or at least kill a lot of trees with rag journals writing about them.

But fidelity? Or even being an "all around nice guy". Those traits are very, very rarely on display when you get into this group of society. Great basketball player? No question about it. Great person? IDK, but, if I'm placing bets, I'd give you 1000-1 odds that the people saying "he was such an inspiration" are, in fact, much "better" people than those they are inspired by if "better" is being measured by their fidelity or care for other human beings.

That said, it's a tragedy, just like it is when anyone else dies at that age in an accident with his young family. I feel awful for those who loved him, and wish them all the best in their recovery. But it's no more a tragedy than a father driving down the 101 with his children in their 1995 Toyota Corolla who are rear ended by a tractor trailer and die. If anything, that's more of a tragedy, the wife and surviving children don't have millions to fall back on, and don't have the outpouring of public sympathy. Just another guy, killed driving home from the ice cream shop with his kids. And that's what bothers me so much about the "cult of celebrity" that we have now in this world, these people are in no way more deserving of our sympathy, in fact, in a lot of cases, they are FAR less deserving of it. And yet they get it, in face of all logic that says they don't need it anywhere near as much the family that was just torn apart by a tractor trailer on the 101, or a family torn apart by a gunshot fighting for this country, or a million other things that rip people from this world prematurely. They are all tragedies and all, if we're allocating where our sympathy should go, who needs our help, it makes a lot more sense to worry about the accident on the 101 vs a private helicopter crashing.

Rideitout

Yes!! What I was thinking, but you were able to much more effectively put into words.

Wow.

I know, I know, I misspelled a couple of words. Sorry.

No, except for being a serial cheater, ithe entire post did not contain one accurate statement. I’m not waving the flag for Kobe nor wish to disrespect the victim, but that is not what happened. He didn’t “buy his victim off,” she refused to cooperate on the eve of the criminal trial and the prosecutors had no choice but to drop the charges. She continued with the civil case. Prior to depositions, the parties then settled for undisclosed sum. There were evidentiary issues. I’ve never heard it being described as an open-and-shut case.

RIO, back when I was a schoolgirl in the 1960's, I knew some famous brothers who were assassinated - or got away with probable manslaughter. How well I remember the universal sympathies each of them received from the public, largely due to their fame and a fawning media's "impression management." Like you said, I learned that few people outside betrayed spouses or the families of their "victims" want to believe any negative information about how bad things really were.

This was sad news today; but I second your observation about the corrupting effects of celebrity, money and power on many people.

Regardless of what he may or may not have allegedly done (and let’s not forget that there are some women (and men—Kevin Spacey allegations) who get involved with a famous person and potentially see an easy high-dollar payout if they say things happened a certain way), he’s still a human being who died very young in a tragic way. If I died today, God forbid, I’d hate for the only thing some people would remember me by is the worst things I did. Compassion is maybe in order.

I can't believe the attacks on Kobe after the horrific tragedy. Many lives were lost including his beautiful daughter.

Before any of you comment on his allege rape case, please read the entire documents on the allegations. He stated it was consensual sex. She agreed to take the money to resolve the civil case.

If I'm going to be fair, there are lots of people on this site who strayed, and did the work and reconciled. And if memory serves me, the co-founder of this site was one. She and her husband went on to do a wonderful service with this site.

So I'm not sure we should erase all the good someone does with the a past bad deed or deeds. Some, not all, grow with time and become better people. Kobe Bryant appeared to be one of those, but no one knows but him, and those closest to him.

What does make me absolutely angry when a celebrity or famous athlete dies is the term Hero being thrown around. It greatly cheapens the word. Someone who earned $600 million over 20 years playing a game they loved is not a hero. A talented, hard working athlete...yes. In his case a brilliant businessman...yes. Hero, not so much.

The soldier awake in the dark guarding his platoon from sniper fire is a hero. The rescue teams that risk their lives to save others are heroes. The firefighters and police officers who race into danger to save others are heroes. Even the couple who saw the car being looked for in an Amber Alert for a missing 11 year old girl and chased that car at high speeds to report where it was to police, are heroes.

Kobe was a great basketball player that I'm sure encouraged other kids to follow their dreams of playing professional sports. Lets call him an inspiration, but not a hero.

I do large loss negotiations and mediation. Kobe was trying to avoid a brutal 20+ year prison sentence and he was wealthy. It takes a long, long time to negotiate a multi million dollar settlement. Especially when paying out of pocket. Those negotiations probably started within a few weeks after the sexual assault. I could get into more specifics, but it played out pretty much as expected. The worse it looked for him, the more he had to pay with the understanding she would refuse to cooperate. That's very common. Among my cases are infidelities with a lot of money on the line and the spouse never knowing about it. I try and pass those off to others, but these types of things play out over time getting to a settlement.

Wow, I saw a lot of this on Social Media yesterday. He appears to have made amends and lived a clean life for many years. A family has lost their husband, dad, brother, son, sister, daughter. But carry on. He was flawed like all of us, or maybe there are some here that aren't.

[This message edited by justabrokendream at 12:50 PM, January 27th (Monday)]