SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I would love to inform her for any reason. I am hitting a stumbling block trying to find her info. I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars to a pi to figure that out. Also didn’t make sense if I’m showing up in his neighborhood looking around. Any suggestions!

I've found all the information of all kinds of "associates" of people through beenverifieddotcom.

You can get a 5-day trial membership for a couple of bucks.

If you can get her name or any other information these search engines do a decent job for free

fastpeoplesearchdotcom

Not everyone can afford a PI. Most people can afford things like GPS trackers, VARs, phone crackers and even simple reverse lookup services on the web.

What kind of information are you looking for? If you have his name, that opens up a lot of options.

This is absolutely true. What information do you have? What access do you have to her computer, phone, car, etc.?

If you want to blow up this asshole, and by proxy, demolish your wife's fantasy world, you need to expose.

Let us know what info you have and then we can help you find out how to contact the other betrayed partner.

Welllll. I have his name, address and phone number but nothing on his partner.

I've gotten a list of relatives, ages, and addresses off of 'whitepages' (all free) You just have to play around with it.

Ignore the prompts 'to pay' for a full report and scroll down the page looking for additional buttons.

From a list of related people, you can judge who the wife is from her age and search directly on her.

And you can often obtain more information or figure what is the current address by separately googling their name & address - and seeing what comes up.

Check out his name as well as his wife's on:

linkedin

I have tried these sites and paid the fees and came up with no useful information that I didn’t already have. It only gave his mother’s name. I know that because I looked it up. No social media or anything.

If you have the street address, try logging into the property records at the town, city, county assessor's office. Those are public records. Typically the home will be in both names.

Method 1 Using Public Records

Contact the county tax assessor. If there's a piece of property, someone is paying tax on it – or not. ...

Call 411 directory assistance. ...

Consult other public records such as property deeds. ...

Use an online property search tool.

Dec 10, 2019

3 Ways to Find Property Owners - wikihow*com

This guy owns no property. Lives in an apartment when we have a beautiful home. Looks like I just might have to give up on the part of finding the OBP.

I find her idea of an open marrige both insulting and funny, Why funny? I read on another site about this happening to a guy, He loved his wife so he reluctently agreed. He had little success for the first few weeks, So he did what i call hitting the iron and getting swole. He also let a friend help him dress better so he could go out on dates. Within three months he was getting more attention form wonen than he know what to do with. This did not set well with his wife, One day she looked thourg his phone to see the women he was dating and at his next date and she went through the roof! All the women he was dating looked much pritter than her. Needless to say, The open marriage thing did't last long! LOL...

Is OM a coworker? You said that you found.his information.

It may behoove you to begin carrying a VAR for your own protection. Depending on where your WW works, they may promote her to gain what ever upper hand she can get in the D process. What easier way to make herself look righteous then file a false DV,domestic violence charge on you and her you kicked out of your house with a RO, restraining order.

You now need to start looking out for what is best for you. Treat the D as a business transaction. Ask for more then you what. Get what you need to move on. Protect yourself. Make copies of all important papers and put them in multiple safe locations. Stay detached. Keep talk to a minimum. Record everything when she is in your presence.

[This message edited by NoOptTo at 4:09 PM, February 15th (Saturday)]

No this guy is not a co worker. I am aware that I need to mind my p’s and q’s. At this stage she can’t say anything to get me on that edge.

Question. Things are,too comfortable around here. This is my thought. I am going to,stop paying the utilities here and let things get cut off. She’ll either have to pay or go. This will allow her to start to be a burden on him. Shit ain’t free no more. When the stuff gets turned off I can temporarily stay somewhere else. Also, both cars are in her name, but I do own a motorcycle. I’m going to tell her right when the car insurance is due that I’m not,paying it and start riding my motorcycle until I can get a car. Your thoughts.

Rynoz, check with a lawyer before doing something like that. You might be better off filing for a separation or D before you start withdrawing financial support.

Stop trying to get revenge. It usually backfires. Just file.

No one likes to admit defeat. It stinks but you can’t undo the past. You can plan your future. First, absolutely NO with turning off utilities. Food rots. Mice, dirt, mold take over. It still does not change what happened.

Does your wife act interested in you or your lifestyle? Be honest with yourself.

Happiness is being free from turmoil and misery.

She actually called me about going out to dinner and I told her no I think she’d have a better time with and his name. She immediately hung up the phone.

You mean to say she kept his name secret from you and she was proposing an open marriage with a mystery party as the other guy? Does she read too many romance novels or is some form of specialized porn?

That part of the secret is no longer secret. At this point after going thru her phone, any thought I had about R is out the window. She was sharing my text messages with him and the two basically laughing out making fun of me. So that’s out at this point.

Please, please, please tell me you screen shot all of that stuff and hid them where she can’t find them. Please!

I did reach out to her father who I have a good relationship with and told him what was happening. He said he doesn’t even know his daughter. And apologized to me for her.

Sadly, don’t expect that to last. She is their blood. At least they are as baffled by her new persona and activities as you are. Who knows, this might be the real her after all. What a winner. Still, I’m glad her parents know. I hope you have told your family and friends as well. You will need all the emotional support you can get in the days ahead.

I appreciate the ideas about pressuring her out of the house, but agree that you might want to see a lawyer first. Where do you live in a general sense? Is there enforced separation before a divorce decree? Is your name on the deed and mortgage? Who pays for what?

If she is still balking, have a heart to heart with her. Say

“Your recent revelation of adultery has caused me a lot of shock, anger and trauma. I need time and space to process all the negative emotion you have caused. I may not have been an ideal husband, but I never wronged you as you have wronged me. Your actions and words demonstrate the contempt you have for me and our marriage. I am requesting that you move out and sign the paperwork. I think that is fair given the actions you have taken to destroy our marriage. Please cooperate with me, there is no need to be any more acrimonious about this.”

If she still says no, then file contested, and cite adultery and alienation of affection, if that is a thing where you are. Be sure to name the guy.

you posted around 2 am. Are you frustrated/angry beyond reasonable levels. Act with caution. what has happened has happened. Acting on impulse may make harm than good. Have someone care about you in the circle to talk about things. It is important you take care of yourself do your other responsibilities even better, eat sleep and exercise well.

Wish you a strong mind

[This message edited by goalong at 11:27 AM, February 16th (Sunday)]

I’ve never seen manipulation techniques work out. Which is what you’re trying here.

You can’t change or fix her.

Let her go. Why stay involved in this mess?

This is my thought. I am going to,stop paying the utilities here and let things get cut off.

Don't mess up your own credit for her. Just file for divorce. You'll be able to set up a financial agreement for the separation and that will bring shit home to her.

Rynoz, before you take any action like that, check with your attorney. You don't want to cause yourself trouble in the future.

At the same time, I think you are on the right track to separate your finances. Any bills that are her responsibility, let her know you aren't paying any more. Hope she finds a job that can support her lifestyle.

Down here to file the papers. They do not make it easy. I had the wrong packet initially. Then I got what I thought was the right packet. Get over here and now I have to go to the library to print out a whole new packet. Damn.

Hey, Rynoz.. this might be helpful to you.

(URL)

smartasset dot com slash retirement slash florida-divorce-laws

Presuming you are actually from Florida.

Hey, rynoz.

Just do what you gotta do to get it done. You'll feel a lot more in control once you file. Pay no mind to her from this point on.

Separate your finances in whatever way you can. I'm not sure about the whole not paying for utilities, insurance, etc. But if you have joint credit cards or bank accounts, cancel them and get your own. Whatever you were paying for before must stop. The message being that you will no longer fund her fantasy.

At this point, you have already shown her what your intentions are to D. She has not convincingly changed her tune so doing anything to try and force her hand is pointless. So focus on what you can to minimize further damage both emotionally and financially.

Once the D process begins you can truly focus on yourself. She will probably show you a billion different sides of her trying to work as many angles to get you to change your mind. Shut her out. DO NOT ENGAGE.