This 1 Million times over:
Year 2 was worse overall, lonelier and I’ll-defined.
Year 2 after d-day 1, was year 1 after d-day 2 (A was underground, and 1 year almost to the day, was when I found out the A had not stopped). So my "year 2" was not normal in that it was a year after d-day 1 but was ground zero for false-R
My second year 2 - a year after false R and 2 years after d-day 1, was different.
My timeline:
d-day1: 10/17
d-day2: 10/18 (false R for almost the entire time)
d-day3: 4/19 (A stopped for 3 months then restarted so second false R)
IHC
This is when your WS and in my case, I, started wondering "when am I going to get over this shit?" in the classic sense of the phrase (as in, when am I going to stop thinking about this crap everyday) and when am I going to be done dealing with this shit (meaning, should I just write off my WH and never talk to him again). I wanted to be free of it, and I found myself more and more unhappy, and generally more depressed, until I let it go, which also meant letting him go. I couldn't stand it anymore and found myself no longer caring, like really not giving a shit, if he ever "got it" - I also found I was not attracted to him the way I used to be. My WH is a handsome guy - that hasn't changed - but the chemistry between us was dead, or so far buried I couldn't be bothered to try to dig it back up.
Now, we are in IHC and I will be moving. My job is ending this month - finally - and as soon as I have a new job starting I will be gone. I still get that little pang of "wow, I will leave and this person who has been a part of my everyday life for the better part of 2 decades will be absent, permanently" like a realization of real change and diving back into the totally unknown is actually happening. What I do not do is think to myself, in a sorrowful mourning way, about what could have been. I guess that means I have accepted what I thought I had with my WH wasn't happening, and that I am done mourning.
So this last year, from 10/19-10/20 is year 3 for me post d-day1. I would say that sometime around 10/19 is when I moved out of the mourning stage into "I want to get on with MY life" stage.
[This message edited by ThisIsSoLonely at 12:34 AM, September 26th (Saturday)]