SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚

Happy Thankful Thursday Everyone !

This0is0Fine...I hope you enjoyed that time off !!

hikingout...I LOVE your posts...and this one is so AWESOME ! Even though getting older means that I lose my loved ones...it also means that I get to see new loved ones coming into the world . Christmas with those grandbabies is so SPECIAL and MAGICAL isn't it ??!! Our younger children are pretty much done having children of their own...but our older grandchildren are now of child bearing age . That "circle of life" keeps going and while I am still on Earth I am going to ENJOY them as much as they let me !! This is the FIRST thing I am THANKFUL for !!!

Pippin...I have never been skiing. It sounds very intimidating to me !! For you to be skiing is an awesome feat to me ! These old bones of mine would retaliate big time if I tried to put them through that !! The highest point we have in NOLA is "monkey hill". It is a man-made mound that is in the Audubon Zoo !! When I was younger...it was just a mound that we could run up and down on. Now it has other things put in for kids to enjoy...but to ME...the simple mound was still the best!

South Louisiana actually had a BLIZZARD last year! Of all my years on this Earth...that was the FIRST time I ever saw a blizzard first hand . EVERYTHING shut down for a few days...but once the snow melted it all went back to normal...much nicer than a hurricane! But my gosh...when I opened my kitchen curtains the morning after when it was still COLD...and saw all the SPARKLES in the snow...it was just GORGEOUS! I now understand that phrase...the quiet hush of the newfallen snow. It was MAGICAL . I don't want it anymore though...Cajuns and snow don't mix too well !! Because it happened during Mardi Gras season...almost all of the snowmen/women were decked out in purple, green, and gold over here...very cool!

Speaking of Mardi Gras...the season is upon us again my friends . Although Mardi Gras day is different every year...the official start to the Mardi Gras season is always on Twelfth Night...January 6th . We traded red and green from Christmas to purple, green, and gold...overnight . Fruitcake has been replaced with King cake! New Orleans has already had its first parade too! I am very THANKFUL that I live in South Louisiana...in case anyone didn't already know !! Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler !!

My heart is HAPPY again and my soul is at PEACE . I truly never thought I would be saying that...after that HORRIBLE Dday...but here I am...all warm and fuzzy and stuff !! I have always been a more positive person...but Dday threw me for a loop...even more so than when I experienced it in my 1st M. I was determined that I was going to OWN this A...and that became my mantra from the beginning. I am sure MANY people at that time got sick and tired of reading that ...but I didn't know any other way than to confront that beast head on and SLAY it.

As I researched how to be happy again...I found that positivity was the key . I knew how to do positivity...but I didn't know HOW to get back to that point . That was where the vets on here helped me . They gave great tips...and some were out of the box a little...but as they often write on here...I took the advice that worked for ME...and left the rest . Once I made a little advance because of being positive...it helped me so much that I just wanted to do MORE of that! I am so THANKFUL for the people on this site who have helped me !! Most of them don't even come on here anymore...which is a shame...but I do understand. It is really HARD to come on an infidelity site when you are no longer IN infidelity. They passed on the torch though so that the rest of us who are on here can show what we learned from them .

I am heading into my 12th A season...and to be honest...I had to count to figure out what number it was . I can remember when I would start the New Year feeling so SAD because I knew A season would be coming up in a few months. That doesn't even bother me anymore . Now I look forward to what this next year will bring! Will I lose weight? Probably not . Will I lose more loved ones? Probably so . But whatever the future holds...I am FREE from infidelity...and that...my friends...is what I am very THANKFUL for today !!!

💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚

[This message edited by Want2BHappyAgain at 3:53 PM, Thursday, January 8th]

My heart is HAPPY again and my soul is at PEACE

Very good to hear and your journey certainly inspired mine on the way to happiness and peace!

That first five years of recovery was tough, but in the rear view mirror now, those moments make me appreciate the hard work that got us to the other side of it.

And your update reminded me, I need to experience Mardi Gras at least once in life -- maybe my Mrs. and I can aim for a trip to New Orleans in 2027.

Time off was great! I'm very thankful for the rest and relaxation. It's now time to get back to work.

I'm very thankful for some good weather on the mountains to support some skiing.

W's birthday this week.

I didn't see her near her birthday in 1966 because we didn't have classes in January. We were very good friends on her birthday in 1967 (and I was in love with her, and she had fallen for me in her own way), so this is the 60th time we've been together on her birthday. I was in a hospital in 1967, too sick to talk to her, but she was in communication with my mom, so we were thinking about each other and, therefore, together.

So come to think of it, I'm grateful to be alive, and I'm grateful to be with plainsong, and I'm grateful to be together on her birthday for the 60th time.

Man, 60 years ago I had no idea what being together that long would be.

GOOD morning everyone !!

Oldwounds...it seems like we inspired each other then ! I sure looked forward to your posts and threads my Dear Friend because they always were more POSITIVE than not!!

Mardi Gras is definitely an experience in NOLA !! It can be VERY congested in the French Quarter during Mardi Gras...but it is not so bad at other spots . Another experience is going to Fred's in Mamou on Mardi Gras Day . This place is in Southwest Louisiana...and the Cajuns there keep this very different Mardi Gras experience alive and going strong too! Mardi Gras parades are all over Louisiana during the Mardi Gras season...so now is a great time to decide where you want to go and ENJOY the "Greatest free show on Earth" !

This0is0Fine...another skier...cool ! ENJOY it...I have heard it is fun...but I am too OLD to put my body through something like that...and too scared as well !! I will take a bayou with alligators over a mountain with snow ANY day !!

sisoon...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to plainsong !!! What an AMAZING milestone...congratulations on the length of time TOGETHER !!! I think this is going to be my post for today...THANK YOU for the inspiration !

I am very THANKFUL for being with my H for all these years !! Many people know about the dopamine hormone and the HIGH it gives. The serotonin hormone may not be as intense with the high from dopamine...but this "happy hormone" LASTS whereas the dopamine hormone fades over time. I definitely remember that dopamine HIGH when my H and I first started dating . But NOW I also get to experience the very satisfying serotonin high because it gets better over time !

We had been married for several decades when my H had his A. The dopamine HIGH he experienced from his A was quite intoxicating to him...as it is for a lot of Waywards. The dopamine skewed his thinking and my H said he felt like "King of the World" for having TWO women who loved him and he was able to satisfy both of them . It lasted until he found out on Dday that I was leaving him after he confessed about his A. The next day...when he got a reply to his NC message to the adultery co-conspirator...and he realized the adultery co-conspirator had LIED to him as much as he did to her...whatever residual dopamine HIGH he had STOPPED abruptly . God gave me the Blessing of watching that all unfold when reality set in over what had actually happened. I'm still so THANKFUL for that...Thank You God !!!

Needless to say...I wasn't experiencing any of these "happy hormones" for a while...this shows from my username. Ironically though...my H got another dopamine HIGH after I told him that maybe I would consider R. It was like he had another new relationship with us starting over in our Mv2.0. This helped in my recovery because my H took everything I threw at him in my anger phase and kept his love for me showing despite my contempt toward him.

Around year 3 I started to think about taking D off of the table. Then we started to experience the serotonin hormone again . As we both turned TOWARD each other again...life became even more beautiful than ever . This didn't happen because of the A...it happened because WE did the work to make the rest of our lives together the BEST we could have it be . The A will ALWAYS be a part of our M...but it won't DEFINE our M. WE get to decide what defines it...and the definition is RESPECT . For US...when we respect each other...all of the other feelings fall into place .

So here we are...another decade of Mv2.0 under our belt...and that serotonin is as STRONG as ever !! My 1st H and I weren't married long enough for the serotonin to set in. I don't care. Making the decision to D him was the BEST for me and I have NO regrets . But I am so THANKFUL that I decided to R with my 2nd H...and I definitely have NO regrets with that decision either !! Only God knows if we will be able to look back after 60 years of being together like sisoon and plainsong have . But whatever time we have left...we will be rocking that serotonin all the way !!!

Happy Thankful Thursday everyone !!

I am enjoying this balmy weather right now...but preparing for a FREEZE coming early next week. It is hard to believe that the temperature will drop over 50 degrees from what it is right now...but life sure does give us these disruptions every now and then so that we can be THANKFUL when things go back smoothly again .

My H's A was certainly a disruption in our life. It is hard to believe it now...but I had gotten to a point where I just wanted the PAIN to go away...and for the first time in my life I was contemplating suicide . Thank God that He intervened...and I was able to overcome that feeling. Even a "Pollyanna" like me can succumb to something that would have been inconceivable before being put in infidelity HELL. I am very THANKFUL that I have had this positive attitude all my life...because I truly believe that positivity HELPED me to recover from this very negative experience. Of course...my positivity stems from the relationship I have with God. He promises to never forsake us...and He never has !

As I was trying to find that path to being HAPPY again...thinking positive thoughts definitely kept me on that path . Obviously that did NOT include thinking about the A! When a negative thought came about...I would think about WHY that thought was there. Then I would try to find a way to get it OUT of my head. Most of the time it was questions about what happened during the A. I would ask my H these questions...and most of the time his answers would help to calm my mind. I also had so much other information that could corroborate his answers...and that was something that I was THANKFUL for too . I remember asking the SAME questions over and over again...and was relieved to find out this is normal for a person experiencing a trauma like infidelity.

As my limbic system...or lizard brain...started to calm down...the positivity started to become more prominent . I believe that is the MAIN difference between my two experiences with my two husbands. I wasn't able to get my limbic system to calm down with my first H. The reason was because he never stopped his cheating ways. I am so THANKFUL that I went for D with him! It wasn't easy...especially with a young child...but it was way BETTER than staying with a person who made my body be on alert all the time. That is NOT a way to live!!

THIS time though...just WOW ! My H told me early on in R that he was going to have an "attitude of gratitude"...and he was going to make it his life's mission to give me my "happily ever after" . I have often written about how ALL fairytales have some type of trauma in the story...but in the end...they live "happily ever after" . Just like Vivian in "Pretty Woman"...I wanted that fairytale ! MANY people on here gently advised me that going for the fairytale was not realistic. I should try instead to have an authentic M. I agreed that our M needed to be authentic...but I wanted BOTH!!! If I was going to dream...I was going to dream BIG !! I am so THANKFUL I went for it...because I am now living my fairytale...and it is in having an authentic M!!

Thankful for the NFL playoffs and the current remaining teams without giving away too much of my fandom. :)

Happy Belated Thankful Thursday everyone !!

This0is0Fine...I hope you are still thankful for the playoffs!

My H and I survived Winter Storm Fern...woohoo! Bon Dieu...how do y'all do this freezing stuff??!! We Cajuns just eat when we are stuck inside like this...but gumbos and etouffees sure make our waistlines BIGGER !! We are going to have another freeze this weekend...so we are praying that we have clear weather like we did last week . I am so thankful that we never lost electricity...and it would be really nice to have that happen again .

I am also really thankful that I ENJOYED this past month . January is the start of the New Year...and it used to be the start of my counting down the days until A season. Even though A season doesn't start until May...when January came around I would start to feel so anxious because I knew what was BEFORE me...and it would be horrible. I was so thankful when A season was BEHIND me.

I came to realize around year 6 that I was the one causing myself all of this anxiety !! The A had been behind me for a LONG time...but my mind just wouldn't seem to let it go. I often write how our brain is AMAZING...but sometimes it can be our worst enemy too!! I put myself in a world where I couldn't forget the dates...or the deeds...or the feelings. If I did...then it could happen again!! Little did I know that I was creating a huge rut in my neuropathways that would be very hard to get out of!!

I did though . It is probably why my healing took a little longer than the usual 2-5 years that are mentioned often on here. Better late than never...right ??!! It was hard to let things go but I had the necessary tools to help me. SI is a Godsend !! My eternal optimistic attitude worked so well for me in this situation! My H was super supportive through all of this...his "attitude of gratitude" sure came through right when I needed it . And...last but definitely not least...my faith carried me through it all. God IS soo soo GOOD !!

THIS January was very exciting for me . Then again...we have expanded our family since my H's A...so the grandkids are pure JOY ! I am truly looking forward to this year...and A season WILL soon be renamed to something else! If anyone has any suggestions...please feel free to share . So many of y'all are way more creative than I am and I have stol...I mean...borrowed some of your catch phrases !!!

I am very thankful that I can write about A season and laugh . I NEVER thought that would happen!! But it is in the PAST...NOW is what counts . For NOW...my prayer is that EVERYONE on this site can one day be HEALED and find JOY and LAUGHTER in their life again .

💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚

Happy Thankful Thursday Everyone !

This is the 2nd to last weekend before Mardi Gras...so the parades all over Louisiana will be in full swing starting this weekend. I've only had one piece of king cake so far...and I didn't get the baby...so I didn't have to buy the next king cake . My H and I are actually not at home right now...so we will probably get our favorite flavor of king cake when we get back home. And NO...it will not be from Walmart !! I am so THANKFUL that we get to experience this part of our culture!

I am also THANKFUL that we do get to go back HOME at certain times during my H's projects . Although it is very nice to be traveling around America with my H for his work...there truly is NO place like HOME!!

Last but not least I am also very THANKFUL to God ! I was so ANGRY at Him after Dday...until I found out that God was trying to guide my H AWAY from adultery...but my H wasn't listening. I am very THANKFUL that my H listens now . My recovery and healing from this horrific trauma is all because of God and I can never thank Him enough for giving me my life back . I sure didn't deserve the grace He gave me because I accused Him of some pretty awful things . But He was gentle with me in showing me what REALLY had happened...and when my eyes were opened...I KNEW I would be alright !! So Thank You God for this wonderful life I am living right now !!

💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚

This0is0Fine...I hope you are still thankful for the playoffs!

Too few teams left to say specifically (not that a wise person couldn't sus me out based on my extensive post history). But I love me a good superbowl and usually host a party.

I'm thankful this belated thursday on a friday for some work stuff. Hard to explain in more detail, but it was like a deluge of bad news, but finally we got some good news. So I'm thankful for that. :)

More personally, sometimes I say things like "intimacy is up and down". Maybe sometimes I complain that it's a bit of a dry spell or whatever. Currently we are in something closer to monsoon season, and I'm certainly not complaining.

I was up early today walking my pandemic puppy and I was grateful for the warm clothes I have to walk her in, the beautiful sunrise over the icy fields of snow, the peaceful quiet, and the song running through my head. I’m grateful for the work I have. I’m grateful for a quiet weekend where I can rest and I’m grateful for all the many problems in my church so that I can step in to help, and I’m grateful for being able to see people’s strengths despite their weaknesses or failings. Im grateful that my slowing down body gives me the cues I need to take care of it better and that I can still do so much, tho I miss rock climbing. I’m grateful for my husband every hour of the day. I’m grateful for the change to take care of my kids in the ways that they need now, as they become young adults, and I’m grateful for the PT who is helping to keep my back strong and flexible. And I’m grateful for SI, the people who run it, and the people who share their experiences

💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚

HAPPY Thankful Thursday everybody !!

This0is0Fine...I bet your Superbowl party was a HIT !! Woohoo for that monsoon season of intimacy!! My H and I are walking through a desert right now ! Predictably it is because of work related issues. With us traveling for different projects...our minds are dealing with other things until we can get into a routine. Normally after that...the um...rain will flow . Until then...cuddles and kisses and hugs keep us happy .

Pippin...so much gratefulness...AWESOME !!! We experienced freezing weather for several days...but no snow. I don't know HOW people deal with that stuff !! Bon Dieu...we were ALL hibernating and eating plenty of gumbos and etouffees down here! Cajuns are NOT made for cold weather...even though we used to live in one of the coldest places on the continent. We've become wusses !!

This is the final weekend of the Mardi Gras season...and EVERYONE in south Louisiana is decked out in purple, green, and gold . My H and I were able to get a king cake when we were back home for the weekend...and it was so GOOD . After Tuesday they will be gone until January 6th next year so we ENJOYED having it from one of our favorite bakeries . I am so THANKFUL that we had awesome weather when we were home so that we could visit with family and friends !

I am also very THANKFUL that my H and I are able to travel to different places in the United States for his job/projects . They don't celebrate Mardi Gras where my H is working now...Tuesday will be just another day over here. But EVERY place has something beautiful and unique in the USA...and we LOVE exploring the different places we are so privileged to go to ! It looks like we will be in this place for a while...so we will be able to do a LOT of exploring over here!! Oddly...the last place we went to outside of the USA...was where my H had his A. Even though we aren't opposed to going back overseas...we truly are very HAPPY being able to travel this beautiful country of ours !

Mardi Gras is still in my blood though...so to everyone on this awesome site...Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler !!!

💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚💛💜💚

HAPPY Thankful Thursday everyone !

Mardi Gras has come and gone...and now we are in the Lenten Season . Forty days of reflecting...atoning...and giving of ourselves...it is truly a cleansing and reset for us here in South Louisiana . One time a Priest did fuss at us for not really being as somber as we should be on Good Friday. But...when the smell of crawfish boils fill the air...it is kind of hard for these Cajun hearts to NOT be joyous!!

We weren't in NOLA for Mardi Gras this year...and being away from "the action" sure makes me THANKFUL that we were able to experience this tradition for as long as we have . We have taken it for granted...knowing that we would be around...until this year when we weren't. I have noticed this happens in other areas of the country where locals take their traditions and monuments for granted. We decided we were going to be tourists in every place we go too...and there is so MUCH to see in this great country !! I am so THANKFUL to live in the USA !!!

One thing I am going to have to give up this year by being where we are is that I won't be able to have a garden. C'est la vie. My H said he can get some 5 gallon buckets for me to put some tomato plants in...but somehow that doesn't sound very enticing !! I am THANKFUL though that we have a local farmers market not too far from where we stay that I can get fresh fruits and vegetables !

I am also very THANKFUL that God has allowed us to spend time in this new area being able to explore and tour all kinds of places .

WOW...so MANY things to be THANKFUL for and I could write even MORE...Thank You God for those Blessings !!

OK...let's hear from OTHERS . Come on now...you can do it...even if it is just listening to the songs of birds right now...that is something to be very thankful for...the arrival of SPRING !!! Y'all make my day when I get to read your THANKFUL stories...and I really appreciate everything y'all write ! One PLUS about writing about something you are THANKFUL for...it will make YOU feel better...I gar-on-tee !

DDay anti-versary is next week. H has to be out of town. He knows it is a hard time for me. Get me to March and I'll feel so much better. In prep for his leaving, unprompted he has taken me on 3 dates, stacked enough firewood to keep me warm without me having to load all of this up, and front loaded a bunch of small honey do's that just make me feel supported and loved. I know it isn't Thursday, but I'm grateful.