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Hmmmmm warning sign??

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Notaboringwife ( member #74302) posted at 6:27 PM on Friday, October 9th, 2020

We live 70 miles apart. I’m going to spend the weekend at her house this weekend and we have reservations in Asheville next weekend......... that’ll probably be our last weekend together........ shit!!!

Maybe, maybe not. Be prepared. Decide what you want out of this weekend when you see her face to face.

I am assuming you will return to your home after this weekend is over? Think though what the weekend outcomes were. Decide quietly on your own about Asheville.

Or if you already made up your mind simply to enjoy the awesome sex, so be it. But do tell her what your intentions are. Otherwise you will only string her along for the sex, and what will that make you?

Good luck to you.

fBW. My scarred heart has an old soul.

posts: 413   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2020
id 8596088
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sewardak ( member #50617) posted at 6:49 PM on Friday, October 9th, 2020

"The way she presented it to me was almost boastful!"

dealbreaker. She'll be tit for tat the entire relationship.

posts: 4125   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: it's cold here
id 8596098
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staystrong101 ( member #41068) posted at 6:49 PM on Friday, October 9th, 2020

Red flags here! Calling it a revenge affair, and boastful about it, indicate that she is still justifying it. She cheated for 2 years. So if you stay together and she starts to feel unattractive, unappreciated or whatever, will she feel justified to cheat on you?

posts: 681   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8596099
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Westway ( member #71747) posted at 7:06 PM on Friday, October 9th, 2020

Go ahead and go to her house. Go to Asheville. Have fun, bang her brains out and enjoy each other. Just don't let yourself fall in love with her or her with you. Tell her straight up you just want a FWB thing and be done with it. If she wants more then break it off.

She's dangerous. Anyone who brags about having a revenge affair is not someone you want to give your heart to.

[This message edited by Westway at 1:07 PM, October 9th (Friday)]

Me: 52;

XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater

Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.

posts: 1366   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8596108
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oldtruck ( member #62540) posted at 12:29 AM on Saturday, October 10th, 2020

end this relationship now.

you said her RA confession was the stake through the heart

then this relationship is dead, finished, over, done with.

stay away from necrophilia.

never waste life on the dead. life is for the living.

posts: 1422   ·   registered: Feb. 2nd, 2018
id 8596200
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OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 1:15 AM on Saturday, October 10th, 2020

Her difficulty leaving that marriage shows someone who would rather cheat than face hard decisions.

Go.

Unless she has openly and honestly learned harsh lessons for which she condemns her actions 100% (doubtful, based on what you've said), you need to get out now. She has not done the work to be safe and doesn't believe she needs to. "My WS made me cheat." Um, no. Not even close.

me: BS/WS h: WS/BS

Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.

posts: 5911   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2016   ·   location: Midwest
id 8596206
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 1:29 AM on Saturday, October 10th, 2020

I would end the relationship immediately. It doesn't seem like she's done the work to me based on seemingly bragging. A 2 year LTA doesn't seem like an RA to me. As someone above said, drop the revenge. Adultery is adultery.

BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4720   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8596208
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:39 AM on Saturday, October 10th, 2020

2 years is a long time. Revenge had nothing to do with it. She's just a garden variety cheater.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 7:40 PM, October 9th (Friday)]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8596212
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