SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Negative feelings and emotions are as natural and right as the positive loving ones. I have never understood the desire I see sometimes, for people to try and dismiss their negative feelings or feeling ashamed or guilty for having them

- they simply make you a normal human being who has a normal spectrum of emotions.

As much fun as it is I think it would be able to watch the AP suffer, I would not.

It was my wife that wanted him. She had the vows that she broke. AP owed me nothing, being as he is a lessor variety of man.

Is the AP a worthless excuse of a adult. Yes.

This what my wife invited in our marriage. AP cannot help what he is, WW choose him. He damn sure did not force her.

AP did call me and threaten me over the phone once when I caught them. Mistake. Just to help my ego now I will detail events.

1. I called his wife and shared

2. I called him and offered to meet him anywhere, anytime and talked trash about his poor raising, including his momma, no glory on the meeting. (he talked facts about my wife, the joy of that)

3. I called his boss, my wives boss(they worked together), and their bosses boss complaining of harassment and lawsuits. (I had already kicked my wife out of our home, marriage in my POV at that time was over)

4. started IC, that kept my dumbass high school attitude from getting my grown ass put in jail for assault.

Now what would I do if I heard he 'died'? Nothing, he really was nothing. I guess I would be sorry that some individual lived his life so stupidly that they would selfishly hurt others for their pleasure? Sure. I am imposing my values on him, values that are most likely lost to him, probably, but that is on him.

I could go farther, would I help him in some way? Well I darn sure would not volunteer, but yes, if unavoidability put to me I would help him. (probably vomit a some point should this happen)

What would happen should he threaten me now? That I am afraid of. I pray I am never tested in that way.

Thanks William W. It is good to vent. sorry if I am off topic, being a little self centered here.

in closing my little journey into my personal point view on this topic let me add...............Should I find my WW past AP near drowning and beside my boat.......I will gladly hand him a concrete block in hopes he could stand on it and get his head above water. See told you I would help. Hey I don't feel like I am going to get sick!!

I try really hard not to give a rats ass about my H’s exAP. That psycho bitch is not worth any more of my time or energy. Sure, I still fantasize about what I would do if I ever ran into the cow...chances are slim to none but I really hope I never do because it definitely would end very badly for both of us. But should I hear of something terrible happening to that loser? I wouldn’t even hide the fact that I would be overjoyed to hear that the karma bus ran her skank ass over.

After everything she has done to my family, particularly my children, I sincerely hope she gets everything she deserves. Because I am a better person than her, I won’t be the one to be driving that bus. Only because I love my children more than any revenge fantasy I can dream up.

Fuck with my husband? Well, he’s a big boy making horrible decisions and that’s all on him. Fuck with my children who were innocent bystanders turned collateral damage? I can only hope and pray that her demise is the stuff a horror movie is made of.

She told me once that ‘coronavirus loves old people’ and wished me luck with that. That’s the kind of assholery I’m dealing with. She must have had one very screwed up life so far...I can’t imagine her pathetic existence will improve any time soon. Bad shit couldn’t happen to a better broken person!

That all felt oddly therapeutic to write 😆

Yes I definitely had my fair share In the beginning of wishing WH would get karma and even his SO for her part in making my life hell since she entered his life post separation. Plus the two APs who knew me - one an ex friend. I feel nothing for the other APs so I don’t think they even knew I existed.

But over time I guess I don’t want to wish bad things on people in case in comes back on me for that. So now I wish and pray that these people are given the life lessons they need to understand what they did to me and my kids to become better people. Whatever form of lessons they need is then subjective... maybe it doesn’t need to be a bad thing at all.

I understand the reasoning for the moral high ground on this.

Overall, I agree.

And, overall, I have been this way with my XWW’s adultery guy from the moment I found out.

At one point, during an unexpected confrontation, I , somewhat aggressively, enlightened him of the reasons he was an utterly worthless, irredeemable, and useless piece of shit.

This happened in front of my then, even more worthless, adulterous, POS backstabbing wife. (I happened to catch them together by chance post D-day)

He knew me, he knew we were married, he knew we had two children, he knew it was wrong, he knew that it would destroy our marriage, he knew it would destroy our family, he KNEW it would hurt our children terribly, he KNEW the hell they would go through in a divorce, and he KNEW that it would alter their lives in a bad way.

He was aware of all this.

And he didn’t care.

Now, it’s not about me.

It’s about what my children went through - for no other reason than their mother’s selfish, needy, childish, bullshit addictions and the person who knowingly and willingly accommodated her.

My children suffered - especially my older son who was around eight years old at the time.

He loved his family and hung on to hope that we would stay together forever until he heard the very words that me and his mother were no longer married.

He was shattered and I can still see the toll it has taken on him almost eight years later.

My younger son was only one year old so he has no idea or concept of what a nuclear family is.

I don’t spend any time thinking of him and only crossed paths with him twice since that one confrontation.

I haven’t seen him in years.

Now, if he were to succumb to some disease, condition, accident, or crime, I really don’t care about whether he suffered or not.

What would give me great satisfaction is the knowledge that there is one less POS guy in this world that will never have the chance to help fuck up the lives of young, innocent children anymore.

In that aspect, Fuck him and everything about him.

And for every “wayward” who does this shit knowing that children are involved and don’t give a damn about how this will impact their lives - Fuck them too, big time.

[This message edited by keptmyword at 7:15 PM, November 21st (Saturday)]

And for every “wayward” who does this shit knowing that children are involved and don’t give a damn about how this will impact their lives -

My XWW did this knowing there were children involved. Her own children. They weren't young children but would be and are impacted nonetheless.

Doesn't seem to matter when it's all about them.

My XWW did this knowing there were children involved. Her own children

Same as my XWW.

Indeed, it was all about her, only about her, and nothing but her.

Her only concern at the time was ensuring her adultery guy was pleased so he would keep feeding her what she like to hear - all about her.

She’s much worse than him.

To this day, she has never apologized, in any way, to our children.

I’m sorry you went through this shit too.

Yes, the POSAP did knowingly affect a family and a beautiful little woman.

But she isn't his kid.

My bitch STBXW is the one who will have to live with the fact that she did this to her own child.

She is the piece of shit person who would do that. The majority of my anger will always be reserved for her.

AP is just a worthless fuckboy who will be discarded like the trash he is someday.

The OW was happily planning to step into my shoes. ROFLMAO

I did think she was suicidal so I reached out a few times to make sure she was ok. I was concerned for her.

Well that was the wrong way to think. When she tried to restart the affair a third time my H ghosted her. He refused to respond to her. So I did. I asked her to please leave us alone and stop all contact.

She then harassed me on SM for a year or more. Called me a loser for staying with a cheater. I ignored her.

She’s married now. I hope when she’s 50 with kids some much younger woman comes along and has an affair with her H. So she can appreciate how it feels.

My wife had 4 APs. AP 1 was dead before I learned of the affair. He was a good friend to both of us and it hurt a great deal to learn that he slept with my wife. The other three were cut out of her life. Well, my wife has a friend that was friends with AP 2. This friend informed her that AP 2 had a stroke. My wife, in my opinion, handled it beautifully. She simply said, "Sucks for him", then told her that she does not want to talk about him or his life and what happens in his life does not matter to her. But for me, it brought up a lot of emotions. I feel guilty because my first reaction was "Good". But I feel that I should not feel this way. I should have been like my wife and been indifferent to it. But I felt like it was justice for a moment before all these other emotions flooded me. Before anyone says anything, I will talk to my wife about this tonight. But I just wanted to vent some frustrations with myself. I think, for the most part, I could care less for what happens to her APs. But I should not want or hope for bad things to happen to them, right?

Nothing wrong with wishing ill-will on garbage. Those who mess around with married people are low of character anyways so the more those people end up dead the better off societies and communities across the world will be.

I just read first post on this thread and skipped to last and see:

Nothing wrong with wishing ill-will on garbage. Those who mess around with married people are low of character anyways so the more those people end up dead the better off societies and communities across the world will be.

I would add they should die by a thousand cuts.

Well, assumption being they know they were screwing around with a married person -

Hope she is as miserable as she deserves.

I wish nothing but the worst for all APs in the world after what I went through.

Fuck them.

Excuse my French.

Never feel sorry for those who try and wreck families.

[This message edited by Mene at 10:28 AM, December 28th (Monday)]

I am like some of you on here, I do wish the worse for my H’s AP’s. They both knew about me. One in particular knew about me from the very beginning, knew my H and I got married, knew we had kids. Fuck, she even planned one of my baby showers. She came to my daughter’s first fucking birthday. She talked to me often, she bought me gifts all while fucking my H. My H stupidly lent her money to “help her out” and she kept it claiming it was a gift. That money belonged to my kids. Fucking bitch deserves whatever she gets. If she dies tomorrow, I think I would smile and think to myself “she will never fuck up another family again”. To be honest, when my H first met her and talked about her, I just had a bad feeling about her. Then i met her and tried really hard to like her but I just couldn’t and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like my H talked about her too much or anyway before their affair like he liked her or anything. I just couldn’t like her. She was the only female that my H knew that I felt that way about.

I know I shouldn’t let her waste space in my mind. I should feel indifferent about her. Or I know I shouldn’t wish ill-will on anybody. But I’m not to that point yet.

Someone mentioned that my WS was someone else’s AP and how would I feel about the OBS wishing bad things upon him. Well, I can understand. My H fucked up. He knows he fucked up. He’s already had some bad things happen to him that might make the OBS smile with satisfaction and I can understand why. Infidelity definitely sucks and it has changed me. I was never this vengeful.

Simultaneously, I can pray for their salvation and want them to meet their Maker soon.

LOL! I like that way of thinking!

are you OK with the OBS wishing bad things on your WS?

Considering I wish bad things on my WS, yeah, I'm OK with OBS doing the same.

My WH AP not only fucked up my marriage, she fucked up my family, and to put a cherry on top, decided to get a job where I had been working for the previous 10 years shortly after D-Day, thereby fucking up my career as well. (Thankfully, my new job is actually better, and after only 2 years, am making more than I was, and am being groomed to take my very-awesome supe's position when he leaves. So neener-neener, whore!)

I don't wish for her to die... I wish for her to lose everything and everyone she loves first, then die slowly and painfully and completely alone.

I wish for the AP to live long enough to feel the pain of learning my xWH is cheating on her. As he quite certainly will.

My wife's AP had the worst thing ever happen to him....

He married her! //BA-DUM-CHING!!//

He has actually had a string of bad luck since getting involved with my XWW.

- came to my house to pick a fight and wound up with a broken arm. Then he called the police on me for assault, they came and he got arrested.

- car wreck twice (totaled both)

- fired from a very good paying job vfor fraternization and favoritism with XWW

- fired from next high paying job for theft/embezzlement

- he's now 50 and an hourly security guard

XWW has had about the same luck.

And I love it all!

[This message edited by GoldenR at 5:41 AM, December 29th (Tuesday)]

i'm a nice guy but don't take my kindness as for a weakness. i wish the xww fuck boys would get KARMA 20x folds. i would pay to see them in pain and look into their eyes and smile while they are suffering. the pain they brought upon me is immense and that i will not forgive them, they are all lucky that they don't see me in the street i would be in jail but they would be in a rough shape after i'm done with them. never under estimate a person full of hate. they should be very very afraid of me if they ever meet me face to face but thank god that didn't happend. as for the xww i could care less if something happened to her she left a beautiful family behind i cannot forgive her for that also. i'm doing fine with the kids as long as the scumbag doesn't interfere with our lives. she can live her shitty outlook in life that doesn't bother me

I have never had the energy to dislike anyone, I’m generally easy going and would rather just move on from negativity.

Seems the AP is the exception to this life long rule.

I loathe her. I’d happily see her entire world fall apart and I would dance on her grave.

In my calmer moments I worry about my dislike of her and hatred of anything remotely to do with her. I question myself, I question my morality, my ethics. Ironic really, as she didn’t question her own while sleeping with my husband and pressing him to leave his small children!

Sisoon’s question around how BS would feel feel if there was an OBS who loathed their WS, helped me process this worry. I know I would feel like that was absolutely their right to do so. I would be fine with it, as if there was an OBS, he’d deserve every ounce of their hatred.

[This message edited by Dragonfly123 at 9:00 AM, December 29th (Tuesday)]

Yeah sometimes I worry about the HATE I feel for the AP. A friend asked me once if I ever wished she were dead and I said "No. I want her alive and to experience every horrible, painful, awful possible KARMA bus wheel that can roll over her fucking face".

I need therapy,,,,