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20yrsagoBS (original poster member #55272) posted at 6:25 PM on Friday, November 20th, 2020
WH says being labeled a Serial Cheater is offensive because he no longer does that
WE don’t hear from many serial cheaters here on SI.
Where are you?
BW, 54 WH 53 When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas
36yearsgone ( member #60774) posted at 6:36 PM on Friday, November 20th, 2020
WH says being labeled a Serial Cheater is offensive because he no longer does that
A liar is always a liar, even if he/she eventually starts telling the truth.
An alcoholic, even if he/she doesn't drink, is still an alcoholic.
Sadly our behavior past and present go a long way in defining who we are. Someone who engaged in multiple affairs is a serial cheater while engaging in infidelity, while in between infidelities, and long after his or her ending infidelity.
Infidelity is far worse than what the perpetrator might be called.
It looks like you were looking for serial cheaters responses. I'm a BS, and apologize for posting.
If you are absent during my struggles, don't expect to be present in my success.
TheLostOne2020 ( member #72463) posted at 6:39 PM on Friday, November 20th, 2020
My ex was like that. I said, you've cheated in every adult relationship you've had...How is that not serial cheating?
Much like everything else, she doesn't like dealing with reality.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:39 PM on Friday, November 20th, 2020
My xWS serial cheater still thinks he's a "good person" and that I never gave him a chance 
He is also the "victim" right now because I decided to end the M.
It's also my fault that the kids are growing up in a broken family where they have 2 households and that this isn't how we should be raising the kids.
It's like he should have thought about this before his 24 years of cheating on me.
My xWS doesn't even want to be labeled a "cheater" when he has had multiple A's and has lead a double life. He says he's changed
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
Thumos ( member #69668) posted at 6:41 PM on Friday, November 20th, 2020
WH says being labeled a Serial Cheater is offensive because he no longer does that
Wow shit cheaters say. 😂
"True character is revealed in the choices a human being makes under pressure. The greater the pressure, the deeper the revelation, the truer the choice to the character's essential nature."
BH: 50, WW: 49 Wed: Feb.'96 DDAY1: 12.20.16 DDAY2: 12.23.19
gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 7:57 PM on Friday, November 20th, 2020
WE don’t hear from many serial cheaters here on SI.
Where are you?
I don't think many serial cheaters have the emotional wherewithal to be on SI.
My WH sure as shit can't. 3 yrs in and he cannot manage his shame response, so the dose of reality he may get here is just too much for his fragile self.
M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived
It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies
oldtruck ( member #62540) posted at 3:10 AM on Saturday, November 21st, 2020
difference between BEING a serial cheater and WAS a serial
cheater.
now i do not know how far you are out from D day. though
keep in mind many a WW eventually has been referred as a
FWW, former WW, by her BH.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 4:26 AM on Saturday, November 21st, 2020
LostInTheDesert ( member #61577) posted at 6:24 AM on Saturday, November 21st, 2020
Someone who engaged in multiple affairs is a serial cheater while engaging in infidelity, while in between infidelities, and long after his or her ending infidelity.
A person denying being a serial cheater because they have stopped cheating is like a person denying being a serial killer because they have stopped killing.
Me: BH 48
Her: WW 47 (financially abusive and emotionally selfish)
Married 25 years, together 27 years.
D-Day: 14 November 2017
DD: 20
DS: 15
Divorced her
NorthernMSB ( member #69725) posted at 1:08 PM on Saturday, November 21st, 2020
Yes, I get it. My husband apparently is not a "liar" because you know, I never asked him if he had a girlfriend during our decades of marriage, so that means he never lied to me! 
Me: BW-54
Him-WH-58
Too many Ddays now to count, all with the same LTAP ex-girlfriend (or I guess current) except the brief fling November 2018-Christmas Eve 2018 with another ex-girlfriend
I'm tired
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 1:38 PM on Saturday, November 21st, 2020
My XWW would not want to be called a serial cheater. But she was.
She had 3 long term relationships. She cheated on her long term boyfriend before me with multiple guys. Most were one timers. Many were when she would go to a dance with unknown partners.
While they were dating and after she also had sex with multiple guys who were married or in relationships. She claims she didn't commit adultery with the married guys because she wasn't married.
She cheated on me before we were married. She had cheater behaviour while married to me. One was when I was away for a few days at my parents preserving vegetables for us when I came home a day early to see my beloved whom I missed greatly. She was going on a sleep over (all above board because it was a married couple and she worked with the wife - very probably above board but I knew neither of them) which I was not informed of. I only found out by coming home a day early. I spent hours frantic because I didn't know where she was or how to reach her (no cell phones then) but I was totally unreasonable for being upset.
She feels she was "good" for 25 years of marriage before her LTA. There was no connection of the before marriage to me and the LTA after 25 years of marriage. Therefore she's not a serial cheater.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 3:34 PM on Saturday, November 21st, 2020
HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 3:37 PM on Saturday, November 21st, 2020
A person denying being a serial cheater because they have stopped cheating is like a person denying being a serial killer because they have stopped killing.
^^^
Also, don't want to be labeled a serial cheater? Then don't be one. Pretty simple.
BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction
Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.
Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:04 PM on Saturday, November 21st, 2020
I expect any cheater, with multiple As or one, who objects to being labeled a cheater is far from healed, far from earning the 'fWS' descriptor, and not all that close to being a good candidate for R.
Someone who has changed from cheater to good partner has transcended the label, IMO. Since your H doesn't seem to have done much work and still lies, 20yrsago, I can understand at least some of your frustration and anger at his statement.
There are former serial cheaters around, but IMO this sort of thread isn't likely to evoke responses from them. SI member #2 would weigh in, of course, if she could. 
[This message edited by sisoon at 11:05 AM, November 21st (Saturday)]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Krystlebefore ( member #56351) posted at 3:46 AM on Monday, November 23rd, 2020
I'm a serial cheater.
I'm o.k. with that title - its what I am.
if my husband called me that - I'd be yep o.k....(we are further out than most folk on this thread though).
Sisson's first comment above - is key I think.
I reside on the wayward side of the street....
GoldenR ( member #54778) posted at 11:22 AM on Monday, November 23rd, 2020
I told my XWW she was a serial cheater. She said, "How'd you know I poured Cheerios & milk in my hoo-ha?".
leavingorbit ( member #69680) posted at 12:05 PM on Monday, November 23rd, 2020
I’m here. I agree with krystlebefore and sisoon.
When we drop fear, we can draw nearer to people, we can draw nearer to the earth, we can draw nearer to all the heavenly creatures that surround us. - bell hooks
TheLostOne2020 ( member #72463) posted at 2:20 PM on Monday, November 23rd, 2020
crazyblindsided
My xWS serial cheater still thinks he's a "good person" and that I never gave him a chance
He is also the "victim" right now because I decided to end the M.
God they're all the fucking same, aren't they? Mine is just like that. She's the victim of circumstances beyond her control. Right. 
It's also my fault that the kids are growing up in a broken family where they have 2 households and that this isn't how we should be raising the kids.
It's like he should have thought about this before his 24 years of cheating on me.
I hope you aren't putting up with this nonsense. He broke the home because of his shitty morals and principles.
My xWS doesn't even want to be labeled a "cheater" when he has had multiple A's and has lead a double life. He says he's changed
Well that's too damned bad, you didn't want to be married to someone who neglected their vows.
He hasn't changed. Most of them don't.
Change requires effort.
[This message edited by TheLostOne2020 at 8:21 AM, November 23rd (Monday)]
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