SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

If you turned him into the authorities, why isn't he in jail? What happened?

it was not fully over since we have responsibilities together and my kids were involved. I have NOT gone to his house, I only spoke to him at work and gave him a heads up prior. I am pregnant and he, OW and his whole family know. I wanst sure if I would lose it or terminate based on his actions. I have reason to talk to him tho and even if I wasnt, dd was only 6 weeks ago. Not unusual for a 7 yr relationship when he was around my kids this whole time. He gave my older child drugs recently and bragged about it. he has guns and its illegal for him to have em. she is driving by my house constantly. Discovery is for court. spoke with so many lawyers and its an easy case. Im thrilled.

Not pleased you are trying to burst my bubble when Im here to get support and kind words. pretty much any message you have left me is terribly rude. Just know not everyone is in your place. being kinder would be of help. you never know what person you will offend and then they go home and kill themselves because they are not strong enough to deal with that. remember we are all here cause we are traumatized and hurt or even abused. your words feel very intrusive and mean.

[This message edited by lifestoshort at 7:57 PM, June 18th (Friday)]

DEA said they were already investigating him but they need to catch him. thats why they didnt get the guns yet. which is the scariest thing. I believe he hid them at work in the basement.

Lts the whole point of surviving infidelity is to get OUT of it. You are keeping yourself completely embroiled in his drama and bullshit in a very purposeful manner and that is NOT healthy for YOU in any way imho. You have been absolutely obsessed with him - What he's saying, is he taking to ap, they can't be together, you talking to ap constantly, where's his car, where's her car, is he doing drugs, is she, what's her roommate saying, what's her criminal record.... And on and on and on. I'm not trying to bust your bubble, but I just can't see your actions having a positive effect or outcome for you in the long term.

In the time since your first jfo post, you've been devastated, suicidal, a week later "I'm over him", "I'm doing great", angry, crying, "so happy he's gone", 2 days later posting in nb about doing online dating, then back to obsessing about him and ap again.

I'm not saying any of that to shame you honey. Being cheated on is fucking AWFUL. The thoughts you're having and the wtf are very normal. But you persist in putting allllll your focus on him and have been for a long time (sinch hs iirc). Your focus should be on YOU. By filing charges and now allowing yourself to get sucked into a legal drama, all your energy is STILL ON HIM. And believe me, he and twatap are loving this. This makes them feel like some hot shit that they clearly hold so much power over you.

The only way to win the game with a narc is not to play at all. Cus there's no winning playing with people like that.

Do your kids feel the need for some sort of closure with him? They're grown yes? Then let them deal with that how they see fit. I know when my mom's bf and her broke up cus of his fuckwittage, my 'closure' with him was a pretty succinct "fuck you dude".

I believe in one post you said something about ten miscarriages. Is that right? I am so sorry for all that loss. Now you say you are pregnant. I don't know what's going to happen with the pregnancy, but if you are not currently pregnant or it doesn't work out, please, please, please do not consider bringing a baby into this situation. It's just not fair to bring a baby into a relationship where the parents are already breaking up and involving other partners and punishing each other; it can only go downhill from here, and no baby wants that tumultuous life. You do not need to add another child to the mix and instead need to take care of you.

You may have loved this guy since 14, but it's time to let go. He is nothing but an anchor in your life. Good luck. I hope you and your kids feel peace without this albatross around your neck.

My kids are not all grown no. he was around toddlers that are still under teenage years. and the stds they gave me I could have easily given to the children from toilet seat alone. Yes the kids are upset. his parents were their g parents and he was the father figure w us weekly. their real dad has been gone for many many years so my bf was it. of course they dont get it. they've been with him longer then their own dad.

and the comment about not bringing a child into the world, I know. Im scared to even have to admit that and say it but I know its what I have to do. its why I have kept it quiet w my family and here. I didnt want to go into that detail when I was so excited but the more I found out the more I knew it would be unsafe to have the baby around them. major reason why I wanted to know if she was w him or not. why I had an investigator find her records and its way worse. also his. I have terminated with him ages ago already because he was not showing up as he should for me. Im more worried that the child would get into the drugs or they would be so out of it that the child would get hurt. her recent drug record was just 6 months ago for meth so were dealing major stuff here. and his was injectibles. also VERY harsh and can kill but I have not seen him use that. he has told me he is using 4 things tho. Do you know how hard it is to terminate when you have wanted this for so long? I spoke w lawyers about it and my state would make him have supervised visits and drug screens. he would be so limited but he told me he would quit his job to avoid child support. and I knew then this person was not whom I once loved- he just wanted HER pregnant. I can do it w out him but he wants to hurt me because she is influencing him in a psychotic way. they are feeding off one another and I have never seen him like this, really toxic and angry/violent. I think she blackmailed him so thats why he is staying but also because he believes all he deserves is an addict who is so so dumb. he has called me 25+ times in the past 3 months so he was looking for an out but knew he was in too deep.

I had reason to be knowing everything. I had JUST found out about the affair too after we just planned our whole life out. even today, im just 7 weeks out. its a shit ton to process. even tho I dont want to be with him, I was hoping I wouldnt have to make such a harsh choice if she stayed away. since he can be level headed when not with toxic people. (otherwise I would have never been with him so long or had my kids around when Ive kicked out anyone who drinks or even smokes around my kids)

side note, this was planned. we wanted it. we talked about it after 1st DD and of course all the yrs prior we have been trying. it felt like I was given a gift and a start over amid the chaos. so now I have to somehow see everything die while 2 addicts run off into the sunset. life is fucking cruel. I believe I was doing so well w out him physically here cause I had this to look forward too :(

[This message edited by lifestoshort at 11:20 AM, June 19th (Saturday)]

You are pregnant by him?