Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: blindbs

Reconciliation :
I survived a 2 year antiversary

This Topic is Archived
default

 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 4:06 PM on Friday, July 2nd, 2021

I survived a big 2 year antiversary. Dday (denial day) 6/30/19. This was when I caught her in a lie for the first time. She explained it away and I bought it. This was the day she met a stranger in a bar and went home with him. I caught her day 1, by accident, I wasn’t even suspicious. From there she began a 2 month EA/PA with him.

I have had anxiety leading up to the day and the night before I had a trigger that knocked me down, but overall it was just another day. My W has been willing to help me however I need her. She sent me a really nice, encouraging message that day and then made me a steak dinner that night.

It really makes a difference to have a remorseful fWS willing to do the work, not perfect, we have bumps in the road, but she has made this journey to R worth it.

The nice message and the steak dinner help to make that date something positive in our M. I told her next year we are going to that bar so I can show her what it’s like to leave with a real man.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 33 years

posts: 3701   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8671902
default

Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 4:42 PM on Friday, July 2nd, 2021

AWESOME post Tanner...thanks for sharing !!!

I agree that having a remorseful FWS makes a HUGE difference . My XWH was not in the least remorseful...and I ended up having another Dday a few years later . My H though...after 7 years...there is not a HINT of him ever repeating his HORRIBLE choices from that time .

YAY on OWNING that bar too!! It felt so GOOD when I could take back things like that . I do LOVE your attitude !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8671938
default

GTeamReboot ( member #72633) posted at 12:30 PM on Thursday, July 8th, 2021

Glad to hear that was handled so well and I like your plan for next year! It is super frustrating that even when R is going well, as well as it can overall, it’s still a hard unfair journey.

We are coming up on our antiversary and A season (Though DDay was more than a year later) We will be on vacation with my family and I’m hoping to get a mix of patience and understanding along with a good distraction.

Me- BW, 45 (FWH, 47); DDay Oct 2019 - Double Betrayal (x2) during Aug-Sept 2018. Hard at work in R! Whole story in Bio
I tend to make little edits for clarity and typos!

posts: 501   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2020
id 8673448
default

Hope4Wholeness ( new member #79074) posted at 1:37 PM on Thursday, July 8th, 2021

I am happy for you. Thanks for sharing. Take care.

posts: 7   ·   registered: Jul. 6th, 2021
id 8673459
default

TX1995 ( member #58175) posted at 5:17 PM on Thursday, July 8th, 2021

Glad it went well and that your WW was able to give you the support you needed.

I told her next year we are going to that bar so I can show her what it’s like to leave with a real man.

I love this!

[This message edited by TX1995 at 11:17 AM, July 8th (Thursday)]

I'm the BS. WH had an EA/PA with a cOW. DDay was 4/17. Working on R. Married 15 years and together 20 at DDay.
DDay #2 and #3 6/19. Grew a conscience and admitted a full blown physical affair.
Current and forever status is reconciling. I don't

posts: 1026   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8673533
default

 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 1:04 AM on Friday, July 9th, 2021

Thanks everyone, it’s right at the beginning of A season for me. 7/6/19 was the next weekend and she went to a party at his house. This was the first sober decision to be with him. It came up this year, but again not that triggery. I think I have analyzed this stuff to every minor detail that I really only thought of it twice on the 7/6.

I don’t know if I’m numb to it or if I’m starting to feel the healing.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 33 years

posts: 3701   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8673704
default

fabbhmg ( new member #78710) posted at 11:47 PM on Tuesday, July 13th, 2021

I'm glad to hear that you`re making progress and that you're well most of the time. And yes, having a wife that's commited to make things work surely makes a difference!

May you two be able to become stronger and happier, no matter the bumps on the road.

posts: 24   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2021
id 8675304
default

Tempocontour ( member #65971) posted at 11:36 AM on Friday, July 23rd, 2021

Glad that you survived your 2 Anniversary. VERY, very tough to recon with your WW after her 2 EA/PA month affair. I tried finding your story but you never posted one? Maybe you decided to not post 1, which is understandable. Good luck.

posts: 104   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Northeast
id 8677753
default

Tempocontour ( member #65971) posted at 11:36 AM on Friday, July 23rd, 2021

dbl post

[This message edited by Tempocontour at 5:37 AM, July 23rd (Friday)]

posts: 104   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Northeast
id 8677754
default

Booyah ( member #60124) posted at 1:15 PM on Friday, July 23rd, 2021

Tanner, is she in IC?

It's good she's doing some nice things, but has she put in the work to figure out why she did what she did?

posts: 1254   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2017
id 8677764
default

The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 3:11 PM on Saturday, July 24th, 2021

You are not dumb. People can change for the better if they really want to.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14638   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8678156
default

 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 3:14 PM on Saturday, July 24th, 2021

Tanner, is she in IC?

Yes, weekly since Dday 2.

I tried finding your story but you never posted one?

I’m actually working on it to put in my profile.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 33 years

posts: 3701   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8678157
default

Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 11:56 PM on Saturday, July 31st, 2021

I told her next year we are going to that bar so I can show her what it’s like to leave with a real man.

This is the most badass thing I've read in a long time.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 4007   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8680223
default

 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 5:24 AM on Sunday, August 1st, 2021

This is the most badass thing I've read in a long time.

This means a lot coming from someone brandishing a sword, channeling their inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die! 🤣

[This message edited by Tanner at 11:36 PM, July 31st (Saturday)]

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 33 years

posts: 3701   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8680295
default

thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 4:02 PM on Sunday, August 1st, 2021

I’m actually working on it to put in my profile.

I keep looking for it....

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4480   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 8680346
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy